About

Most people are movitvated by fear. Sure, they may be working towards some higher goal - world peace, free trade, whatever - but the fact remains that most people, probably even you dear reader, do whatever it is they do out of fear. It could be they are afraid of failing, afraid they won't be accepted; perhaps, their fear is something even more primal: fear of the dark, the unknown, the alien. Who knows what it is? Perhaps even now you are asking yourself what you are most afraid of; and maybe you know the answer and maybe you don't yet. But you will. One day we all confront our fears and know them for what they really are. Some of us lose this confrontation and some of us win. For the losers it sucks. Think about all those frightening middle-aged housewives who have gone to the tanning salon one too many times and drink vodka cocktails with their anti-depressants. They lost.

But the winners don't have it any easier. I know.

I am not motivated by fear. I'm not bragging. This isn't a good thing necessarily. You see, my fear confronted me (I won't tell you what it was or how it did it), and I won. It wasn't a pleasant battle and, yeah, I needed some pain killlers afterwards. But the point is that I won and afterwards I discovered something. I wasn't afraid, moreover, I'd lost a lot of my motivation. Suddenly, there was nothing to run from and so what I had been running to just didn't seem worth the effort anymore.

Okay, so I'm not afraid and I'm unmotivated, but this doesn't mean I'm lazy. I still do the work I'm supposed to do, but it just doesn't seem as important anymore. All I'm really interested in is watching others and learning what frightens them and guessing the outcome of the confrontation they will have one day.

Maybe I should become a psychologist, I dunno. But I'd just produce a lot of unafraid, unmotivated patients, and I really don't know how that would impact the world. So instead, I think I will become a writer. In my stories I can write about the fearful things lurking in the shadows underneath our most secret thoughts, and everyone who reads it can just chalk it up to fiction and go on being afraid and motivated.

One of the Roosevelts said, "There is nothing to fear, but fear itself", but whichever one it was who said that was only half right. What comes after fear can be a lot more frightening than what lies in its clutches. I'm only beginning to discover that now . . .
User Image - Blocked by "Display Image" Settings. Click to show.

User Image - Blocked by "Display Image" Settings. Click to show.

Friends

Viewing 10 of 10 friends

Journal

Courtesy's Log Book

*insert Tailspin theme song here*

Notes and discoveries, observations of one girl's journey through Gaia.


Comments

Viewing 10 of 15 comments.

+Phaggot+

Report | 04/13/2006 8:26 pm

+Phaggot+

Nyahaha, then we BOTH misunderstood each other. heart
WilliamJShakespeare

Report | 04/13/2006 8:18 am

WilliamJShakespeare

"More of your conversation would affect my brain!"
WilliamJShakespeare

Report | 04/12/2006 9:50 pm

WilliamJShakespeare

Oh, I see! Well, then here's another insult: "I never look upon thy face but that I think upon hell-fire."
WilliamJShakespeare

Report | 04/12/2006 7:10 pm

WilliamJShakespeare

So do you like Shakespeare? Do you like the insults? Or are you being ironic by throwing them in my face?
Dexandre

Report | 04/12/2006 5:02 pm

Dexandre

Ah, thank you. ^^ I think I'd heard them in a song before, but I'm not sure.
Dexandre

Report | 04/12/2006 4:43 pm

Dexandre

The words in your quote... they're familiar. Where are they from?
+Phaggot+

Report | 04/12/2006 1:37 pm

+Phaggot+

Awwh, you're very nice, not an a** like I said. heart Buddies??
kikuyoung

Report | 04/11/2006 2:30 pm

kikuyoung

ooooooo...you look like a pilot razz
Kathleen Starr

Report | 04/11/2006 7:34 am

Kathleen Starr

Why are you asking me for Gaia updates...? Q_Q
Courtesy

Report | 04/09/2006 3:38 pm

Courtesy

Well, I'm sorta questing for both but as the laurels only require gold and I just have to save it up whereas the scepter requires tickets and it just seems more quest-y. So yes, I'm saving up both gold and tickets.

Signature

[center:194762cdc2][img:194762cdc2]http://www.webmuseart.com/images/courtesy/signaturepic.gif[/img:194762cdc2][/center:194762cdc2]