About
Yo, wazup meh fochizzul home skillet beeskots! Woohoo! I spoke ghetto!
So, my name is Sarah (or it might not be. If i don't kno u IRL, just call me Sarah. Except for b***h muffin, skank bacon, dyke danish, and hoe toast, who may call me c**t waffle. ) and i'm a writer. Whoot whoot. Oh, and Lisa made my arm say mcmuffin once. So, props to lisa and elia if you're reading this.
My fav bands are breaking Benjamin, the used, 9 inch nails, and mcr (some day i WILL clone gerard way and marry my gerard clone, lol)
I'm a horror freak, meaning if it has King's name on it, i own it. I want to grow up to be the next King. But in girl form. And prittier, lol.
I'm also fluant in Nadsat. Is that horrorshow with you Cal Rot?
But yah, pplz who rock are Robyn, Robin, Sasha, Katrina, Jonelle, Lisa, Liz, Illanna, Mike, Elia, Neil, Ariel, and that girl from are club who though i was the teacher, lol. Other pplz who rock are Mr. Strub (his jokes are sort of lame, but he's a good guy), and Michael Cuesta (best movie directer ever. His films are off the chiz-ang!)
People who suck are the teachers that give weekend homework, and the ones who have no ac. And the ones who created the Renisance(sp) project.
If yall get a chance, check out my Story, it's pretty cool.
How well do you know me?
TAKE MY QUIZ!
click this to send your life into eternal darkness
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Some stupid facts about me:
As of friday, july 18th, I am a vegeterian. (Stop laughing, lol. I'm serious)
There is only one thing on the face of the earth that at 15 years old I can not handle watching, and only my closest friends know what it is. And it's not that I cant handle it because of it's content, it's because it brings back bad memories of sobbing and sicking up pappa john's pizza on the carpet.
I'm freeking obsessed with the book "Clockwork Orange". Alex freeking rulez. But not in the movie. Because in the movie, he's not hot. And lisa, i totally feel your pain now. HE'S S'POSED TO BE A HOT 15 YEAR OLD! Not a 27 year old.
I hate pudding. Despise it to it's very core.
The guy from the crow 4 (the one who isn't edward furlong) looks like my uncle chris.
When i don't do my homework, my english teacher wags a stuffed bird at me
I win every game of mercy not because i can hurt the other person, but because i can hold out intil the other person gets boared
My friend has climbed to the top of a watertower with a bucket of paint to defend his sister's honer (cowman, if you are reading this, i know)
NEVER ask me who my favorite male charecter is in a book or movie. Because as soon as i say it, he WILL be assraped. Happens every time, just ask Sasha.
I fell in the water twice in november on my youth group trip. The first time i kicked a log and fell over it. The second time i jumped off a rock, thinking that there was no water below (it was waste deep)
I can carry an intelligent conversation with a 9 year old boy
I currantly own the right half of Jonny Depp in sweeney todd (sasha got the side without the white stripe in it, b/c origionaly she let me have the bottom half, but i wanted part of his face)
I hate twilight
I refuse to buy ugg boots, or any other dead animal clothing, and it makes me want to vomit when i think of how 90% of the girls at my school have tortured, slaughtered animal draped over their feet when there are just as many man-made solutions.
I think Edward Furlong is the s**t (incase any out-of-modern-culture people are reading this, that's a good thing), if not only because he's forever 19
Nomatter what anybody says, City of angels and wicked prayer were the best crow movies. The first was good but the dude looked like a mime, and mimes make me piss myself in fear. The other one (salvation) sort of sucked.
I lost the mindrape bet...
...dont ask, lol.
I like to refer to movies that nobody knows like they're popular. Example, for months a knew edward furlong as "that kid from that prison movie with the drag queen" (if you havnt's seen animal factory, don't ask), or "that kid from that movie with the bird that was the sequil to that movie where that kung foo dude's kid got shot". "that movie" by the was, is The crow.
I know that that getting a "strep test" means being face raped with a six foot long Q-tip and then getting pills that taste like chalk.
I lost the mindrape bet...
...again...
...dont ask, lol.
I was mindraped by both Fall Out Boy and the VH1 Music Video wakeup. Because unhappy memories of something that scarred me for life in fifth grade is exactly what i want to wake up to. Thank you fall out boy. Oh, and Pete Wentz, Those pictures of you mean nothing to me now. God damn HTF lover... you know what, now i'm gonna make ayumi kill you off in a fanfic. Oh, and whoever that chick hosting the videos was... YOU GOIN DOWN b***h! I do NOT need to wake up to that kind of stuff man... I didnt even know that they could show that s**t on basic cable. Oh well, wouldn't be the first time that basic cable betrayed me.
I can take an unbelievable amount of live action gore (the saw movies dont even make me cringe) but when it's a cartoon, all bets are off.
I strongly believe that Jonny and Ponyboy blew eachother in the church. Gone with the wind my a**.
Jonelle demoted me to jew (Wtf Jonelle)
I'm alergic to Ayumi
I've seen forrest gump 16 times
I've eaten asscandy (also referred to as "a** skittle"). No, I will not elaborate.
If anybody says anything about "puss", i retch.
If you've read this entire thing, you are (in the immortal words of ayumi) an "********".
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The Spider cat song:
spider cat
spider cat
does whatever a spider cat does
can she swing
from a tree
no she cant
you should have seen
lookoooooooooout
no, dude, the tree is BREAKING
dananananan
spider cat strikes again
Spider cat
spider cat
does whatever a spider cat does
clumsy as hell
dumb as heck
watch her slip
and snap her cat
lookooooooout
spider cat strikes again!
(by cat on the youth groupe trip. Cat, u rock!)
98 of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like
bagels.
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Quotes from the dickens festival:
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Me: So, steve, how was the show?
Steve: it was boaring
me: we called you like 8 times
steve: that was the highlight of the night...
Me: what do you mean, you never answered
Steve: I mean my cell was in my front pocket on vibrate
Joe: GIGITTY!
Me: are you wearing your costume
Steve: I hope, otherwise i'll be going naked
Joe: that's the other festival
Robyn: yah, it's like the Dickins festival, but you take the "S" off the end
Joe *on one knee in a minimart*: ashley, will you go out with me
Me:um....
Steve: C'mon, you can't shut a guy down in a crowded minimart
Me: This is a party!
Steve *referring to an incedent last year*: It ain't a party until john takes his shirt off
Me: we should all have a party like... a few weeks from now
John: I'm totaly invited, right?
Rebecca (or Robyn, lol. Cant remember which): yah
Steve: PAAARTY!
John *taking his sweatshirt off, not noticing that his t-shirt is stuck to it*:woohoo!
Steve: That's one way to celebrate
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Amusing quotes from my dad
Dad: that men's room was filthy!
Me: It smelled bad?
Dad:Bad is an understatement, it was like using a soggy jock strap as a resparator
Dad:*watching pulp fiction*
Me: Is bruce willace gonna shoot that lady
Dad: He didn't last time, and he didn't the time before that, but this time i'm hoping he will
Mom: check out this new phone
me:mom, that's a camera
dad:yah, that's not a phone honey
me: can't call anybody on a camera
dad: oh, you can call them 'till you're F***ing blue in the face, but nobody's gonna answere
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Conversations with keith
Keith: How do you get 100 babies into a bucket
me: I don't know keith, How do you get 100 babies into a bucket
keith: With a blender. How do you get them out again?
Me: enlighten me keith
keith: With Doritos
Keith: What is blue and yellow and sits at the bottom of the pool?
Me: I realy don't want to know
keith: yes you do
me: alright, what?
Keith: Baby with slashed floaties. What is red and yellow and floats at the top of the pool?
me: You know, this vocab isn't gonna translate itself
keith: please lemme tell you
Me: I'm gonna regret this, but ok
Keith: Floaties with a slashed baby.
Keith: What is worse than a dead baby in a trash can?
100 dead babies in a trash can.
What is worse than that?
There's a live one at the bottom.
What is worse than that?
It eats its way out.
What is worse than that?
It comes back for seconds.
Me: i realy need to tell mike to stop giving you AMP
Keith: What is the worst part about killing a baby?
me: telling me about it wail i'm doing vocab
keith: no, Getting blood on your clown suit.
Keith: OMG! You drew an armadilldo
Me: you mean "armadillo"
Kurt: NOT THE WAY KEITH USES THEM!
<- that is the crow. Piss me off and deal with him.________________________________________
THINGS YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR DURING SURGERY
-Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.
-Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500 ml of this stuff before?
-Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?
-Ya' know... there's big money in kidneys... and this guy's got two of 'em.
-Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?
-Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.
-Damm! There go the lights again...
-What's this doing here?
That's cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?!
-Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!
-Sterile, schemerle. The floor's clean, right?
-What do you mean he wasn't in for a sex change?
-OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature.
-This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?
-Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.
-Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.
-Isn't this the guy with the really lousy insurance?
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Childrens books that were never published
-You Were an Accident
-Strangers Have the Best Candy
The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator
-The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables
-Your Nightmares Are Real!
-Grandpa Gets a Casket
-Dad’s New Wife, Robert
-Curious George and the High Voltage Fence
-The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy
-Whining, Kicking and Screaming To Get Your Way
-What Is That Dog Doing to That Other Dog?
-Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?
-Daddy Drinks Because You Cry
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Emo Quote of the Month: On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero
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Thought i'd give all my IRL buddies a little reminder of the 7th grad school play. Honestly, that's what should have happened in the play instead of flying off to neverland, lol.
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Awsome quotes from AIM:
Chibichi55 (9:50:33 PM): Robin's backpack has a puma raping the letter A, it's really funny
Chibichi55 (9:50:41 PM): it's like "POUNCE! KA-BAM!"
fullmetalsonic90 (8:31:59 PM): (about clockwork orange) weee that movies all about a hawt goy raping ppl
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Other quotes:
Cara: wow, he's hot.... unless he's an she
Lisa: I love serious
Me: yah, but he's like... thirty and you're 14. That's illegal
Lisa: IT'S LEGAL IN GOD'S EYE!
Me: you're an atheist
Emmy *quoting full metal jacket*: This is my cell phone. There are many like it but this one is mine. My cell phone is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my cell phone is useless. Without my cell phone I am useless. I must use my cell phone true. I must call faster than my enemy, who is trying to hit on my boyfriend. I must call him before he talks to her. I will. Before God I swear this creed: my cell phone and myself are defenders of my country, we are the masters of our enemy, we are the saviors of my life. So be it, until that b***h is sick and tired of getting a busy message. Amen.
Me: *trying to explain my story to Derrek in terms that he can understand* It's like If KIDS screwed Mysterious skin after Mysterious skin had a threesome with Clockwork orange and LIE's baby and the child of Sleepers and the prison part of American history X, and then went into the next room and banged Twelve and holding and The crow
Derrek: Did KIDS use a rubber?
me: no
Derrek: Poor kids, it's gonna have a c**k shaped like a yam from all the STDs that it's gonna pick up
Me: true. Maybe kids should get itself checked out
Derrek: Does your mom even know that you've seen any of those movies?
Me: hell no. That's why god sent me youtube
Sasha: That's not a sexuality, that's just being indecicive!
*waiting for chris at the cheesecake factory*
Sasha: where is he
Rebecca: probably in the bathroom with the manager getting us all free meals
*2 hours later*
me: ok, there is no excuse for 2 hours late
sasha: yah, except for "i'm currantly handcuffed to a bed in the back room of a truck station"
Sasha: Who wants to bet that if we put that bird on that plane, that mothaf***er would have gone down?
Robyn: TOO LATE ASHLEY! THE MEXICANS ALREADY GOT YOU!
sam: the price is wrong b***h!
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Awsome photoshop pic (i'm getting good at this, lol)
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New bet:
Ashley: 7
Katrina: 5
NOOOOOOOOO! NOT AGAIN!!!
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My holiday Avis:
- St pat's day______________________________________
Oh, you thought i took german because i liked the language, did you? EXCHANGE PROGRAM, HERE I COME!
![[~EmoBoy_Model~]'s username](https://a1cdn.gaiaonline.com/dress-up/avatar/ava/00/5c/6308b813575c00_48x48.gif?t=1173575081_3.00_00 "5725184"){kind=small}
Comments
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However, I'm suprised you spelled "serious" right. Keep it up. Maybe I can actually copy your Bio work right for once.
And I didn't say "God's eye". I said "Wizard Heaven". Wizard Heaven is run by Merlin and he doesn't care what the hell we do up there as long as we don't rape him. Honestly, we don't want to, either.
Agh, yer all pink! @.@ It buuuurns...
I'm glad you liked my story, I've never been referred to as someone who "knows what they are talking about" lol
I'd love to check out your story!
See ya around