About

Ello. The names Doctor. Please note that I am a girl and that the ave next to mine is my original.

The Doctor: My head, argh, I'm having a neuron implosion. I need...
Jackie: What do you need?
The Doctor: I need...
Jackie: Just say
The Doctor: I need..
Jackie: Tell me, tell me, tell me. Painkillers?
The Doctor: I need..
Jackie: Do you need asprin?
The Doctor: I...
Jackie: Codiene, paracaetamol?
The Doctor: I...
Jackie: Oh, I dunno, Pepto Bismol?
The Doctor: I need...
Jackie: Liquid parafin. Vitamin C, Vitamin D, Vitamin E
The Doctor: I need...
Jackie: Is it food? Something simple. Bowl of soup. Nice bowl of soup. Soup and a sandwich. Ooh soup and a little ham sandwich.
The Doctor: I need you to shut up
Jackie: Oh he hasn't changed that much has he!?

Torchwood quotes:

Gwen: But hold on, if no one can see it when the lift's coming up, there's a great big bloody hole in the floor. Don't people fall in?
Jack: That is so Welsh, that is: I show you something amazing; you find fault.


[Gwen and Jack disagree about the use of the 'resurrection glove']
Gwen: Well, that's tough s**t, because if you let me go, then I have a duty. I can tell them (the police) what you've got, because the glove could help us.
Jack: (smiles) If you remember.
Gwen: What do you mean?
Jack: (looks at Gwen's glass) How's your drink?
Gwen: Have you poisoned me?
Jack: Don't be so dramatic. It's an amnesia pill, of my own concoction, with a just a hint of denial and a dash of retcon Wake up tomorrow and you'll have forgotten everything about Torchwood, including me. Which is kind of tragic..


Jack: She's a walking aphrodisiac.
Gwen: I did wonder why I... actually, I've sort of... snogged her.
Jack and Tosh: We know.


[Jack is giving Gwen firearms training]
Gwen: I don't even kill spiders in the bath.
Jack: Nor do I. Not with a gun.


Gwen: What the hell was that?
Owen: What?
Gwen: Snogging me.
Owen: Last kiss for the condemned man. Embarrassing, given we haven't been killed.
Gwen: [sideways look]
Owen: What? It isn't like I fancy you or anything.
Gwen: I was on top of you, I could feel your hard-on.
Owen: Yeah, well. You didn't exactly struggle, did you?


Owen: I hate the countryside. It's dirty, it's unhygienic. And what is that smell?
Gwen: That would be grass.
Owen: It's disgusting.


Owen: You know, we never gave it a cool name.
Tosh: I thought we called it the Resurrection Gauntlet.
Owen: Cool name.
Ianto: What about...the Risen Mitten?
[Jack raises his eyebrows and Owen looks exasperated]
Ianto: I think it's catchy.


Jack: That one's for Ianto. Risen Mitten, Life Knife, and that old classic...Stun Gun.


Ianto: If you're interested, I've still got that stopwatch.
Jack: So?
Ianto: Well. Think about it. Lots of things you can do with a stopwatch.
Jack: Oh yeah! I could think of a few.
Ianto: There's quite a list.
Jack: I'll send the others home early. See you in my office in ten.
Ianto: That's ten minutes, and counting.


Diane: How did it do that?
Ianto: It’s automatic. It knows you’re there. There are wave-bouncing detectors which emit high-frequency radio waves…
Diane: Ooh look, bananas!
Ianto: Of course, bananas are far more interesting.


Andy: Do you think this is the end of the world?
Gwen: Oh, Andy, don't be silly. Do you think the world's gonna end on your shift?
Andy: I've seen you use that smile on a lot of people.
Gwen: What smile?
Andy: The smile you use to reassure people when deep down you know that everything's gone to s**t.


Gwen: So what sort of vision did you have? We all saw people we loved, asking us to open the Rift. Who did you see?
Jack: Nothing. I didn't see anyone.
Gwen: [dissmisevly] But who would have. What would have been the one thing that would have persuaded you to open the Rift?
Jack: [Sighs] The right sorta Doctor.
[Jack gets up and walkes out of the room. he walks through the Hub, then stops. He walks across the room, staring at something. he bends over with a wide grin on his face in front of the hand in the jar. The hand is bubbling and glowing. The sound of a TARDIS materialising fils the room and blowas paper around. Jack grins and runs offscreen as a thump indicates the TARDIS landing. Gwen walks in as the TARDIS starts up]
Gwen: JACK!
[The TARDIS noise fades away as the others walk in and notice the mess]

Owen: I could have swore we tidied up in here.
Gwen: did any of you see Jack on your way in?
Ianto: No. Why?
Gwen: [Arms folded, she turns to face the direction the TARDIS sound came from] Somethings taken him. Jacks gone...