Signature. You know, swishy writing.
[i:d2fc6e5d8e]Help, I've fallen and I don't want to get up...[/i:d2fc6e5d8e][/size:d2fc6e5d8e]
Now questing for a Red Body Dye.
No idea how many ink I have.
I'll remove this from my signature once I have enough.[/align:d2fc6e5d8e]
Pile of random... Stuff. Yes, that's what I'll say.
Huhhhhmm. Name's Chance. 5'8"-ish. 210 lbs-ish. Beware the flippy hair. And get ready to rock and roll! m/,
The EU Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.
The Baptist Newfie.....
A Newfie walks into a Toronto bar and orders three mugs of Moosehead. He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.
The bartender approaches and tells the Newfie, "You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time."
The Newfie replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One's in Come by Chance and the other's in Carnerbrook. Before I left home, we promised each other that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. So I'm drinkin' one beer for each of my brothers and one for meself."
The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.
The Newfie becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.
One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs. All the regulars take notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss."
The Newfie looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs.
"Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains, "It's just that me wife and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinkin'."
"Hasn't affected me brothers though."
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