About

Where Arth Thou Romeo?

Through sweeping halls
Of sleeping stone
Looking for my Romeo.
Someone b r i g h t
Someone n e w
Someone to catch my eye

He stole my heart,
And ran away.
I never saw another day.
My world clouded over,
In shades of grey.
I wish I would-
Just melt away.

At last!
I met someone new-
Who also felt the pain I do.

Oh Romeo! Oh Romeo!
Such a stupid thing to utter...
Such a thing makes me shutter.
Wishing that my heart wont shatter
and cut through my paper skin.
O how I wish for a happy ending.
Nothing like the horrid beginning.

Then at last....
How I sigh-
How I cry-
That is only in children's stories.

Journal

Random thoughts of the sane

[b:33a6d4307d]PEACE! Don't say it unless you MEAN it![/color:33a6d4307d][/b:33a6d4307d]

I have no clue. Just read.


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Comments

Viewing 10 of 20 comments.

Sam0sier

Report | 05/26/2009 5:52 pm

Sam0sier

Happy late birthday! I haven't been on Gaia for about two weeks... sorry sweatdrop

Also, random tangent, sorry for being weird and depressed last we talked... it was a hard time. Things have turned around rather well since then smile
Sam0sier

Report | 02/03/2009 1:17 am

Sam0sier

I know she'll come back, because she always does once the chips are down to sap away my happiness. I don't mind that when she's got issues going on, but when I'm the one who doesn't have anything and she still does it... it sucks User Image

I know it sounds silly... but she talked to me and listened to me. And yeah, she had low self-esteem. Kept saying she didn't feel right being dependent on someone. When we were doing well, she was super dependent on me... guess that's all I really was good for. Just like Jess. User Image

I already went to Rocky Horror with her on Friday. It was fun. She hadn't ever been to something like that before, with my lesbian friends (Jess and her chick) going with me, and some asian guy going with her. She looked like it was so odd to her, but was amused. lol she asked me once if I'd dress like the king of Transexual Transylvania. I said, "maybe." It'd be less revealing than wearing a speedo User Image and I've done that before. That girl is the first nice person who isn't nasty as ******** I've met around here, aside from the former girlfriend of my friend, in like years. Probly since Jess, before she became a slut or a lesbian. Oh well.

Yesterday I was in a hardcore funk, because the whole Jess thing hit home... sorry.
Sam0sier

Report | 02/02/2009 7:25 am

Sam0sier

After I responded to your comment last night, I literally broke down and cried for a minute... I forgot I can be forgiven, forgot what its like to have someone be kind to me. I probably sound stupid saying that, but its true. I thought you'd never even speak to me again, much less forgive me. It means more to me than you may ever know.

The only weakness you and I seemed to have was that you disappeared like that... There were so many things I wanted to tell you, but once I felt safe that you'd not disappear again and was about ready to say them, you left again. When you kept telling me about your hot ex boyfriend and how epic he was, I felt like a consolation prize, and that hurt a lot... even so, I regret what I did. I still feel I was a monster for what I did, and that I still am a monster... after all, why else would no one forgive me for anything, yet expect forgiveness for even the most terrible of acts upon me?

I always loved talking to you, talking to you made me happier than talking to anyone else ever has, no exceptions. If Lauren hadn't forbidden me from talking to you, and had I not feared losing the one person who, at the time, always talked to me and listened to me, I would've messaged so much sooner. I regret that decision, too, more than you know.

I've not read much recently... I've been working out, talking to the uncivilized sluts and assholes at CoD, and fighting one of my best friends... The pain from cutting Jess off from my life hit me this morning, and I'm not sure I can make it through this, combined with everything else that's happened to me. I liked 1984, though I never finished it... gotta find it and read that sonova b***h.

I'd forgotten how kind you were... I remembered how much I loved your honesty, and how easily we talked to each other, how much we understood each other, but I seem to have underestimated how kind you really were. Like I said, it means more to me than you know User Image thank you so much User Image
Sam0sier

Report | 02/01/2009 5:24 pm

Sam0sier

I'm so used to not getting forgiven, for having people use me like tissue paper and throw me away expecting forgiveness that I guess I forgot its possible for me to be forgiven... Thank you, Erica, I really appreciate it User Image



I've wanted to talk to you pretty much since you left... I worried that you could've fallen in with a wrong crowd, that you could've gone down a route of sex and drugs as so many of the women I've cared for have, that I questioned whether I had been right to break up with you. I hate feeling used, or feeling like a back up plan... but I also hated not being able to be there for you at all User Image All I wanted between us was to be able to talk to you, to have you stay and not leave for long spans of time... the bond we had was far more and far better than I had ever expected it to be User Image



It is ok, I understand. I felt bad having to choose... and even after we broke up I still loved you, still wanted to be with you. I felt terrible when I upset you after that. User Image

If you want, I'd really like to start PMing again... I don't have a MySpace anymore... after having pretty much every relationship I've ever had turn to that for communication and then epically fail, I decided it was bad karma for me to have one. I have a facebook, though, which I check like 3 times a day User Image



I'd really love to get to hear how you've been doing since we stopped talking. If you're interested in hearing how my life has been going, I'd be glad to tell you... though life has not been kind to me this winter, so if you expect nothing but good news (like Jess and her girlfriend have been) there's not too much good news to say. Sorry User Image



I'm really happy to get to talk to you again User Image You don't know how much I've wanted to talk to you again!
Sam0sier

Report | 01/30/2009 10:50 pm

Sam0sier

I know, and I'm sorry. I'm sure my words ring hollow, but they are from the heart. I honestly didn't want to change things, but both you and Lauren weren't keen on the idea of sharing me, and she had been there when you weren't. If its any consolation, I got what was coming to me... but because of that, I can talk to you again without fear of retribution.

I remember you had been going through a lot, and to be honest I've thought of you a lot, wondering if you were ok, if everything was going fine, always questioning what I did and what I said. Its not like I didn't love you, because I did. I'm sure this all sounds like crap to you, but I am being honest, and that's all I can be right now. I want to talk to you again, whether its friends or whatever is your choice, and know what you have been up to.

I'm sorry for how things were. I hope you can forgive me.
Sam0sier

Report | 01/02/2009 10:42 pm

Sam0sier

I've been wondering for what seems forever... how have you been? I've really missed talking to you, and I've wanted to know how life was going for you...
Azula Mai 101

Report | 11/07/2008 9:22 pm

Azula Mai 101

thx 4 buying
Sam0sier

Report | 06/06/2008 7:26 pm

Sam0sier

Hey I haven't gotten to talk to you in a few days, and I saw your Avi looked sad (as opposed to the colorful normal state it is in) and I wanted to make sure you're ok....
Sam0sier

Report | 06/04/2008 7:50 pm

Sam0sier

lol YES. Especially now that I'm not animal guy...



Darth SamMoe, demon sith? Idk... something like that. It just looks cool now User Image User Image lol (oh my... User Image User Image *nudge nudge* lol)



I try to check it every day... with occasional exceptions, I always do User Image
Sam0sier

Report | 06/04/2008 10:16 am

Sam0sier

Yup. I'm wearing your chicky!



I am ANIMAL GUY... right after getting out of bed. With the power over random animals (apparently a holy horse, a cat, a dragon thing, and a chick... and two other cats he shoved his feet into for slippers User Image lol idk...



I'll give you my address... but not in a comment. That's just silly. I don't need tons of random mail from strangers User Image I'll PM it to you, ok? User Image

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