About

< v i t a l s >
5’6”
100 lbs
Red hair
Grey Eyes
Pale skin

< e a t i n g d i s o r d e r >
Anorexia is becoming an epidemic in our culture today. The emphasis of the media and culture on thinness drives many young women—and men—to not only fall into but to actively CHOOSE this disease.

Well, I’m here to bring you some perspective on what it’s really like to suffer from Anorexia Nervosa.

For me, it started when I was four. It began with bizarre behaviours around food and an obsession with weight and my own body. When I was 8, I began to use food as a weapon against myself when I felt shame for something I had done. At 10, after a year with a highly abusive fourth-grade teacher, I developed full-blown Anorexia.

It started small. A meal or two skipped here, a day without eating there. But it just kept progressing until at age 13, I was scarcely eating. By the time I was 14, I’d lost 35 lbs, and counting. Let me tell you a little about what will happen at this point.

Your nails will become brittle and break easily. Your hair will turn grey and then fall out. Your skin will become dry and flaky, like scales. Eventually it will start falling off. You will ALWAYS be cold. Freezing. No matter what. You will grow long, fine hair from head to toe--even on your face. You will get intensely painful muscle cramps, especially in your legs. It will be agonizing to sit, but you won't be able to stand. Your legs will break if you do. Your legs will fall asleep when you sit, all the way up to your hips. Not the tingly kind of sleep, the very painful kind. You will stop pooping. Instead, filthy [sometimes bloody] water will replace what was formerly feces. You will lose the energy to run, to walk, to speak or even to breathe and think. Your organs will fail, then you will die. All the while you will HATE YOURSELF with a passion you can't even imagine. You'll never be thin, never good enough. You'll drive yourself to perfection in all aspects of your life, even while your passions and interests fall away, replaced by your constant obsession with food. You will strapped in a constant misery, every moment of every day, until one of three inevitable ends: Death by Anorexia, Suicide, or Hospitalization and Recovery.

This point came for me when I was 15. I was into the doctor for a checkup—at this point weight in at just over 60 pounds—and he was astounded that I was still living. My heart was down to about 15 beats per minute, from a normal 80-100. My core body temperature was hovering around 85 degrees, from 98. My blood pressure was so low that I fainted every time I stood or moved too quickly. I was immediately hospitalized.

Comments

Viewing 10 of 20 comments.

Elisabethi

Report | 06/24/2009 4:59 am

Elisabethi

hey i read your profile and i just wanted to say that everything you said is so true. i hope that you are doing ok now.
i have anorexia and everyday is a constant struggle. i am slowly slowly beginning to eat again and trying to get better but i feel like im just not getting anywhere and i just want to give up.
anyway i hope your ok now ^_^
Lady Amoureux

Report | 06/15/2009 11:59 am

Lady Amoureux

Thank you. This was very enlightening. Makes me think twice about my body, and how much I really do love it. :]
bie_me

Report | 06/15/2009 10:57 am

bie_me

wow...
rane the mundane

Report | 04/25/2009 5:21 am

rane the mundane

I read your profile and i hope everything turns out okay. And that you get better! I hope everything is okay now after you went to the hospital! Take care!

Skies Without Stars

Report | 04/24/2009 1:06 pm

Skies Without Stars

Wow... The story on your profile is seriously moving. After reading that, there is no way anyone could want to have to deal with that every day.

I'm so sorry you had to deal with that for the bulk of your childhood, but I am seriously glad you overcame it. You must be a really strong and amazingg person to know in real life. <3
imake choo HarD

Report | 04/24/2009 12:58 am

imake choo HarD

someone forwarded me yer profile,so i peeked and read your pro,we're most likely suffering with the same condition,eating disorders.:/ but mine's diff. im more of the bulimic side,i was anorexic before,then i had self recovery but after that,i had a relapse but it became more horrible, became bulimic with a little of anorexic and it goes non stop.until now im suffering from bulimia,and i dnno until when am i going to have this. sad
girlanchronism6911

Report | 04/20/2009 10:25 am

girlanchronism6911

hi i started a guild for poeople with food issues and those that have recovered so they can hoave someon to talk to who understands and hopefully over time help out those that are suffering to gain confidence and not think they are alone or wierd...ect. please let me know if you would like to join and help out
Lovely Trinitydoll

Report | 02/14/2009 3:11 am

Lovely Trinitydoll

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I miss you remember me?
The God of Zillas

Report | 07/29/2008 1:34 pm

The God of Zillas

by far one of the saddest and most awaking things i've personally read. this profile is the best by far on gaia.
drak pirlem

Report | 07/29/2008 7:54 am

drak pirlem

We each deal with things in our own way even tho some can't comprehend it. Also mean people suck n don't listen to them.

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