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< v i t a l s >5’6”
100 lbs
Red hair
Grey Eyes
Pale skin
< e a t i n g d i s o r d e r >
Anorexia is becoming an epidemic in our culture today. The emphasis of the media and culture on thinness drives many young women—and men—to not only fall into but to actively CHOOSE this disease.
Well, I’m here to bring you some perspective on what it’s really like to suffer from Anorexia Nervosa.
For me, it started when I was four. It began with bizarre behaviours around food and an obsession with weight and my own body. When I was 8, I began to use food as a weapon against myself when I felt shame for something I had done. At 10, after a year with a highly abusive fourth-grade teacher, I developed full-blown Anorexia.
It started small. A meal or two skipped here, a day without eating there. But it just kept progressing until at age 13, I was scarcely eating. By the time I was 14, I’d lost 35 lbs, and counting. Let me tell you a little about what will happen at this point.
Your nails will become brittle and break easily. Your hair will turn grey and then fall out. Your skin will become dry and flaky, like scales. Eventually it will start falling off. You will ALWAYS be cold. Freezing. No matter what. You will grow long, fine hair from head to toe--even on your face. You will get intensely painful muscle cramps, especially in your legs. It will be agonizing to sit, but you won't be able to stand. Your legs will break if you do. Your legs will fall asleep when you sit, all the way up to your hips. Not the tingly kind of sleep, the very painful kind. You will stop pooping. Instead, filthy [sometimes bloody] water will replace what was formerly feces. You will lose the energy to run, to walk, to speak or even to breathe and think. Your organs will fail, then you will die. All the while you will HATE YOURSELF with a passion you can't even imagine. You'll never be thin, never good enough. You'll drive yourself to perfection in all aspects of your life, even while your passions and interests fall away, replaced by your constant obsession with food. You will strapped in a constant misery, every moment of every day, until one of three inevitable ends: Death by Anorexia, Suicide, or Hospitalization and Recovery.
This point came for me when I was 15. I was into the doctor for a checkup—at this point weight in at just over 60 pounds—and he was astounded that I was still living. My heart was down to about 15 beats per minute, from a normal 80-100. My core body temperature was hovering around 85 degrees, from 98. My blood pressure was so low that I fainted every time I stood or moved too quickly. I was immediately hospitalized.
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