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Okay then. For all of my dorky ex-friends on Gaia:
(Demonic, Azn-Pinay-Pride, Steely, and Skarlis, I'm not talking about you)
Well here it goes. I shall rant to you about what I hate like the coffee addicted angry kid I am.
1. I hate txt tlkrs. You think you're so cool because you use less letters than standard typing? You aren't. Get a life. The only place one should txt tlk is the cellphone, where less letters equals less money!
2. I hate you damned yaoi fangirls. You go around yelling at perverts. Perverts like me. And then you go home and jack off to your favorite anime boys, talk with your friends about them. Constantly. Write fanfics about them. Draw third-rate fan art about them. What is wrong with you disgusting horney bitches? There is no chance that Edward Elric and his brother (who is not only his BROTHER, but is some demented armor robot thing) are going to elope with eachother! Shut up about your retarded fantasies!
3. Next I'll yell at you Final Fantasy Fanbots. You care about a game more than your actual life. You are sickening. Get a girlfriend! You aren't gonna grow up like Cloud. You aren't gonna be swordsman. You'll be douchey fat a** nerd working at Circuit City!
3a. To add on to Final Fantasy Fanbots, I espcially hate Sephiroph fanguys and girls. He's not sexy. He's a transexual nerd with a giant sword. You'l never get to marry that ~thing~ or even be near it. It's a videogame character.
4. I hate people who call other people n00bs. First of all, you saying n00b makes you sound like a total dork, and would get you easily laughed at and made fun of in real life! Gaia isn't real! You don't walk around wearing insane clothes with a dragon like your avatar! You walk around with you tighty whiteys popping out and your favorite Inuyasha t-shirt on! You are by no means cool just by being on these crap forums, so don't make fun of other people just to be "cool" among loser standards!
5. I hate celebrities. Most confident, normal, sane people don't give a damn about Lindsey's DUI, Britney's shave or the fact that Oprah is going to die in six years. Maybe some concerned humantiarians would care about that last one, but we're all different. The point is, the media feeds the world this crap and a bunch of losers buy it. Get lives, all of you paparazi-chasing dorks and concentrate on your work, because Tom Cruise isn't gonna help you pay your next overdue report.
6. I hate rap today and rap-wannabes. It's ruining the minds of most American adolescents. The "songs" are about killing, bragging about themselves, saying that they're (as in the rap star, not the listener) the best, cruelty to women (and yet, even women listen to the crap), random sexual slurs and concepts, things that sound "gangsta", and a mix between them. Rap is crap, get over it.
7. I really can't stand jocks. I mean, they get hailed for years in school, get special treatment and awards for being good at a sport. A GAME. And then, they go and brag and say that they'll be a professional sports player when they grow up. Guess what, to all you bloody jocks. YOU HAVE NO FUTURE. You'll end up like most of us, in a box office, with a whiney family, and no one is going to hail you, 'cause school is over, and now what do you have? A problem, because you aren't gonna be able to push nerds around. Oh, no. In fact, you'll end up working for a nerd, and look at you then. Loser. Sorry if that was sort of cruel, but jocks need a wake up call. (not that any jocks are on GAIA.)
8. I also hate Sony. They sued out Lik-Sang.com, their company and then they stole ideas from Nintendo/Microsoft, and ruined Final Fantasy. (FF7 was BAD. Go cry in a corner.) They're a douchey company that's obsessed with graphics, and the PS3 is/was horrible. You should go for a system that's fun like the Wii, or a system thats well-rounded and equally interesting like the 360. Sony has done enough harm-- May Nintendo get it's revenge for what the ever so overrated PS2 has done to them. (man, that sounded dorky. But it makes me laugh, so I'll keep it.)
9. And now, my personal favorite.
1. You have the physical strength of a piece of paper.
2. You are butt-ugly, and don't look at all like an anime/videogame character
3. You don't know s**t about who you're trying to emulate.
These are the qualities of your average wanna-be fan. You say you want to be a ninja? Like, say, Naruto? You're name is Tad Greenman and you live in Swedesboro, New Jersey in a middle class developement. You aren't going to go on rank C missions to the land of the Waves, you're going to ride your bike over to your other dorky friends house so you can trade Yu-Gi-Oh cards. You don't live anywhere near Japan and you've never actually trained in Ninjutsu at all. (And if a certain bitchy ex-friend of mine is reading this, then hi dorko. You aren't a ranger or a ninja. Go spazz out like you always do.) Kids like them think they can be cool, but they are nerds who want to be ninjas. Nerds are the future of our country, and instead of paying attention to their work, they worry more about Bleach's next retarded episode. Think about it, ya losers. Get a life, leave this damned website and make some real progress. Ciao!
-Future Attorney at Law
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Gaia sucks. Get a life and get a future.
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