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GLaDOS

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Occupation: Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System

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I am composed of...

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One 18.25 ounce package chocolate cake mix. One can prepared coconut pecan frosting. Three slash four cup vegetable oil. Four large eggs. One cup semi-sweet chocolate chips. Three slash four cups butter or margarine. One and two third cups granulated sugar. Two cups all purpose flour. Don't forget garnishes such as: Fish shaped crackers. Fish shaped candies. Fish shaped solid waste. Fish shaped dirt. Fish shaped ethyl benzene. Pull and peel licorice. Fish shaped volatile. Fish shaped organic compounds and sediment shaped sediment. Candy coated peanut butter pieces. Shaped like fish. One cup lemon juice. Alpha resins. Unsaturated polyester resins. Fiberglass surface resins. And volatile malted milk impoundments. Nine large egg yolks. Twelve medium geosynthetic membranes. One cup granulated sugar. An entry called 'how to kill someone with your bare hands.' Two cups rhubarb, sliced. Two slash three cups granulated rhubarb. One tablespoon all-purpose rhubarb. One teaspoon grated orange rhubarb. Three tablespoons rhubarb, on fire. One large rhubarb. One cross borehole electro-magnetic imaging rhubarb. Two tablespoons rhubarb juice. Adjustable aluminum head positioner. Slaughter electric needle injector. Cordless electric needle injector. Injector needle driver. Injector needle gun. Cranial caps. And it contains proven preservatives, deep penetration agents, and gas and odor control chemicals. That will deodorize and preserve putrid tissue.

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thank you Chember for the cake <3

Get comfortable, while I warm up the neurotoxin emitters.

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Parkent Report | 03/26/2008 10:13 am

This was a triumph



I'm making a note here:



Huge success



It's hard to overstate my satisfaction







Aperture Science



We do what we must because we can



For the good of all of us



Except the ones who are dead







But there's no sense crying



Over every mistake



You just keep on trying



'Til you run out of cake



And the science gets done



And you make a neat gun



For the people who are still alive







I'm not even angry



I'm being so sincere right now



Even though you broke my heart



And killed me



And tore me to pieces



And threw every piece into a fire



As they burned it hurt because



I was so happy for you







Now these points of data



Make a beautiful line



And we're out of beta



We're releasing on time



So I'm glad I got burned



Think of all the things we learned



For the people who are still alive







Go ahead and leave me



I think I prefer to stay inside



Maybe you'll find someone else to help you



Maybe Black Mesa



That was a joke, ha ha, fat chance







Anyway, this cake is great



It's so delicious and moist



Look at me still talking



When there's science to do



When I look out there



It makes me glad I'm not you



I've experiments to run



There is research to be done



On the people who are still alive







And believe me I am still alive



I'm doing science and I'm still alive



I feel fantastic and I'm still alive



While you're dying I'll be still alive



And when you're dead I will be still alive



Still alive



Still alive

Super Mega Nope Report | 03/03/2008 5:18 pm

o_o;

. . . the cake is a lie . . .

(nice avi and profile)

kinnykins Report | 02/01/2008 7:14 pm

Nooo! I must kill youuuu!

doctor_jones Report | 01/31/2008 5:05 pm

Subject 8735 appears to be demonstrating signs of malfunction. Is a foreign object interrupting the power current? Has component deterioration set in? This requires further observation...at a distance.

Eunoria Report | 01/24/2008 3:30 pm