About me

the destruction of the ideal that surrounds us inspires us to change in the mindset of the reluctant things we may have or will do in time

I exist therefore I AM
i exsist therefore i learn
i exist therefore i am happy
i exist to further myself to no bounds
i exist to be only tommorow's ideal of today
i exist to destroy the ideal of stupidity and irrationsalism
i exsist to destroy those who attempt to destroy the mindset
i exsist to be the one who learns all

I don't even want to see your face along the Meguro river anymore
No development will come from this, my cell phone dances
If It's goodbye mail, I want to forget about it
"Hold me tight" but "I want to disappear to somewhere"
Any time that you're talking too much you don't seem to notice*
I let you see that "I cry" a little while pretending to be strong
How well did those tears work on you?
Even though "I want to be loved" in my own way, it fills me, but I can't see you
I just have the feeling that I'll never see you again...
I want to tell you that, but I can't find the right words
Maybe it's okay if I lie, but I can't even say "Don't go away"
The strange voice he has when he sneezes
The screwed up face he has when he laughs
His habit of rubbing his eyes when he can't stop sweating
No matter how you look at, his personality is boring
Our styles aren't similar at all
He's uselessly shy, a bit in bad taste
The smirk he has when he lies is annoying
I figured those out ages ago, it sucks
I just didn't have a boyfriend at the time
It was just a relationship for me to kill time with
Those are the excuses I told my friends
There's no way I was pursuing him...huh?
He tries to win me over with boring jokes
And I'm sick of his nonstop talking
I've always locked him out, and now I'm knocking
Even though "I want to be loved" in my own way, it fills me, but I can't see you
I just have the feeling that I'll never see you again...
I want to tell you that, but I can't find the right words
Maybe it's okay if I lie, but I can't even say "Don't go away"
When our hands come apart
Will you forget someday?
About me?
Even though "I want to be loved" in my own way, it fills me, but I can't see you
I just have the feeling that I'll never see you again...
I want to tell you that, but I can't find the right words
Maybe it's okay if I lie, but I can't even say "Don't go away"

The beginnings
The ends of many more
So that life can be lived with peace
But thus it cannot with humans
The power blinds them
It binds them
Everlasting in its hold
Holding his mother closely
Tightly as a child
Then as it is
Age begins
Corruption begins
Power is there
Devious thoughts plague the mind
Desiring one thing
To become a god in a right
Thus he pursues one thing
Knowledge everlasting
The egos of peace and chaos
Struggling in the stages of life
Power is the plight
Or to go with the life on earth
There will always be
Many interpretations
But one shall last
But it will never end there
For the spark of the old
Shall form anew
The struggle begins again
I exist therefore I am
The basis for his life
Until he finds his calling
He shall never find it
People seldom do
He will walk the long winding walk of life
Faces will come and go
He will forget some
But some make a gift everlasting
People wonder what it is
It is simple
Knowledge
Peace
Serenity
Becoming of us these foundations of life
They form us
They mold us
Individual in each view
Why? Because
We all see the gift in a different light
And that is what makes us unique
Our lives feel fulfilled
They are in some ways
And in others they aren’t
But to some it’s just the small things
That overrides the bigger things
That’s the miracle of people
The small and big can be different
Things can change
But always the base shall stay strong
My gift
Your gift
Can be synonymous
But there will be little curves and changes
That makes us different
And at last the child sees this
Smiles silently
And says
I love you
This is a gift in of itself
So small yet so large
For many people
Things can shake the very foundations
And bring them down
But alas this can go silent
Like every life it goes on
It moves along
Never ending
always watching
always listening
always learning
this ideal is absolute
the pillar cannot quake
participate in the neverending joy
and sorrow
that is this world
and the next
for this is the bane of all exsistance
to have a balance
to have a yes and no


why... cant it just be yes?
why is there denying
why?
there is suffering
there are lies
lies?
lies to protect us?
lies to protect others?
or lies we use because we think it will
one day the dry well shall run again
tears will drip slowly down his face
and will increase with each passing day
why?
that is injustace
that is what?
sadness?
happiness?
we do not have happiness
we pursue it
we want it
it is so close
yet so far
to fufill the promises he made so long ago
he must
its his mindset
but he went astray
thinking of others
when he should of been thinking of his past
the future shows he is nothing
a tool in his own goal
it is a conundrum
he breaks down and cries everytime he thinks of those people
he cannot tolerate it

death...
it is his weakness
he becomes hysterical
he cant last under its presance
the coldness it is
just like the winter day
he will perish
he knows it
age or other means
one day he shall in fact
die
he wont tolerate it
he must finish the goals first
then he can go in peace
to serch for his own goals
for his own life
when this happens
it cannot
for the promise includes life
a lifelong term
he wont live his life this time
he made himself follow the others opinions
he is weak
he is now on the ground
freshly kicked down
dirt in his eyes
he remembers the promise
he starts crying
he is still kicked
until he stops crying
the well will dry again
the promises will leave his mind
he will think of nothingness
his dreams
his asperation
will fall short of the shadow
the shadow he made
for himself
he will be his own destruction
to fathom the idea
is in its own a gift
a gift he wants left
a gift he wants to be rememberd by all
his mark on history
dictator
savior
its all the same in his eyes
he wants to be rememberd
he wants to be loved
one of those will be true by the end
he wants to be rememberd
its his choice
he wants both
but he craves
rememberance
to be a hero to all