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- 03/02/2006 11:57 am
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- 08/08/2005
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- Hoping To Be In The Arms Of The One I Love
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Hello everyone. In one point of time in you life did you ever feel like no one cared? or gave a crap about you or your feelings? of what you did and more? I do everyday! I feel like I can curl up in a cornar and die and no one would even know that i was gone! I feel like my family isent here even though they are. I feel like my friends counldnt care if I died or otherwise. I feel like I am always alone though im not. I am with people day in and day out but I feel like I am invisable not to be herd or seen by anyone around me. I have growen numb to feelings and touch....pain and tears. The only thing that i feel now is overwelming fear that I will never be happy with what I am doing with my life and the people that I meet judge me befor they get to know me. They take one look at me and its more of a glare then a look. I see that look more and more in these last days from friends and foes and now that I know I am only but a tool to be used when one needs something fixed or when one just wants something never to return the favor........I feel like my path is unclear when I think that I am on the Path that I am suposed to be on and another comes out of hiding and the fear returns. The overwelming fear I cannot hide from it seeks to distroy and casume me. The world is blacking out and i wish to find that little light that seems to be out of ones reach. I can see it but I cannot touch it.
I am just a secound rate friend....to everyone that is how I feel right now. If you can tell me otherwise and make me belive it! Then maybe just maybe you are the light that is out of reach!
My live is blacking out around the edages! I am no longer able to feel
pain, tears, sorrow, happyness, love, or even the very joy of just being alive!
It no longer exists in my heart nor my mind, body or soul!
It is gone no longer to return! The darkness that once had me!
Has me again and it wont let go as hard as I try I can not get free
of its grip on me! Everytime I try it titans the grip on me
and I scream out in pain though no one is there to help me!
I scream and I scream again hoping that some one would hear me
.......but no one dose I am alone in this world and I feel like I am
not liked nor loved by anyone friend or foe. The darkness srounds me
once again and I can not get away from it! The flicker of light
that was so near to a point that i could feel the heat is far away
once again! The flicker that kept me warm is just a little light
in a otherwise cold, dark, and damp place witch is my life!
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