About
I'm a dreamer, an idealist, a pessimist, and frightfully optimistic. My number one goal in life is to better the world, whether it be something as simple as planting a tree, or saving a life, I want to leave the world in a better condition than when I came here. Above all things else, I believe in that everything should be in moderation, in life long learning and teaching. I've recently decided that I want to become a high school teacher, and also become a perpetual student, as I have interests in everything from art to theoretical quantum physics. My days are filled with cleaning, cooking, learning a language- right now it's German, in my downtime I play videogames- mainly roms off of emulators, and am on messenger to talk to a select few friends. Also if I have the time I like to read a little bit of poetry, and if I have the time a book- though I often get too busy to actually read.
Let me tell you about a few things that shaped who I am today. I was born in a small, predominantly white, religious town, to a workaholic father, and a compulsively lying, alcoholic mother. Growing up I was a bit abused and fairly neglected. I knew how to take care of myself by the age of seven. I've barely met any of my extended family. At nine, my mother lost her job and her parents, and became severely depressed for 6 years, where my brother and I took care of the house. In my early teenage years and throughout highschool, I was assaulted, on a few different stages, and at 17, my best friend commited suicide, and almost took me along with him. Within a month, I met my current roommate, and a few deaths-of-close-friends later, we decided I needed to move away from that town. From the time I was little I realised I was very different from most people, until I was 18 I didn't quite have the words for it- I had went to several doctors who diagnosed me with several heavy disorders and mental illnesses, prescribing even heavier medications for me- it all boiled down to me needing to figure out who I am and what I 'had' - Gender Identity Disorder. What does this mean to anyone who knows me online? Nothing really. Just call me by the name I provided and there won't be any problems. Since then, I've learned that the greatest pleasures in life aren't what you have, but who you have, and how you spend your time- I plan on making the most of my life by doing so. After I moved, I developed a healthy relationship with my father, sorting through all the lies I've heard about him. My brothers and I are back to being close, and I am content with my life, but not content enough to not further develop myself.
Some of the aspects I find most appealing about myself are my willingness to not hold a grudge, to forgive quickly, but not forget, to laugh at myself, and to brush my shoulders off and keep going. On the contrary, I dislike that I don't have a good memory, but the things I do remember I can't forget, I can't seem to let go of my past. I learned a lot - especially that I still have a lot to learn, and that I have quite a while to learn it. I try to appreciate that each day is truly a gift, that life in itself will teach me more than anything else will, to keep an open mind to all that influences me, and to understand things for what they are, and take what everyone says, everything that's been printed 'with a grain of sand'. All in all, I understand that my being here today is something miraculous - thousands millions of years in the making. I have one life to live, and I want to make the best of each moment.
I have quite a few personal goals. I'd love to better the world, to change one life for the better, to save someone. I never want to quit learning, or educating others. One thing I've always believed in is to change each person’s life that I come in contact with. Life is for learning and everyone is a teacher- talk is cheap, I have a lot of time, and most people need someone who will just listen. I hope to pass something on to everyone. I am always looking for ways to be a better friend; a gentleman, someone people want to aspire to be, by being myself, being humble, modest, and honest. I want to be the best person I can be to everyone.
I enjoy spending my time playing video games, writing, reading, and learning html/css. I have played almost all the systems, and right now I'm playing a game called Elderscrolls III: Morrowind Game Of The Year Edition. If you play it feel free to message me about it. I've finally gotten back on track to writing. I'm currently reading four books on creating memorable characters, and a plot/theme. If you care to ask me about my story, I'd humbly oblige to divulging a little information! I've also began memorizing new vocabulary. Html and CSS cause me to hate the following: spacing, colons, semi-colons, quotations marks, brackets and parenthesis. As much as I hate having one of those missing and it screws up my whole code, I enjoy looking for that one mistake.
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