About

Quotes:

"I swear to drunk I'm not god."- the world.

"If I had a dollar for everytime <Insert something unpoductive I do> I would make Bill Gates look like a fricken hobo!"- Me a lot.

"Asswhore."- My random insult.

"That is the simple blunt truth."-me, over and over again.

"I saw the light, then I realized that someone had a flashlight."- my mind.

"Come to the dark side, we have cookies!"- interwebz.

"Got it Memorized?"- Axel

"It's my life, it's now or never, I ain't gonna live forever. My life is like a broken highway, like franken said I did it my way!"- Bonjovi, It's My Life.

"Hey It's hellboy!", "Yeh, I know, I'm ugly."-Random person, then Hellboy.

"Do You see what you get woman! Do you see what you get when you mess with the warrior!"- Turk.

"Dat b***h is getting all up in your grillz, use splash attack!" - Splash attack video.

"In the darkest nigth light prevails, there are things that go bump in the night mr. meyers, and we are the ones that bump back." Proffesor Bruttenholm.

"Didn't I kill you already?"- Hellboy.

"What makes a man a man? A friend of mine once wondered that, is it his origins, how he came to life? No, I don't think so. It is the choices he makes, not how he came to be. That is what makes a man a man."- Meyers.

"Trust your partner, and I do, I can't frogive you, but I trust you."- Neku

"Yo phones, you ain't my partner no more, you, your my friend."- Beat.

It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. -Aristotle

If a child runs into the room saying "Mummy, mummy! I love Jesus and He loves me! We're all going to Heaven when we die and God is looking over us!", people will smile and praise the child. Nobody would say "Don't be silly. You can't possibly say that because you don't fully understand everything about the religion. How can you know that for sure, when you've not read the Bible in the original Hebrew?!?". But if a child (or teenager, or adult) says "I've had a good think about it, and have come to the conclusion that Jesus is a myth and nothing in Christianity makes much sense. I declare myself to be a freethinking secular humanist.", then they are quite likely to receive the latter response. You could have all the theological training of a hedgehog and still get wild applause if you stand up and say you're a Christian, but it seems that atheists are required to demonstrate more intelligence and Biblical expertise than all the clergymen and theologians that have ever lived before they are allowed to publicly express their doubts. -Adrian Barnett

Never shall I forget the time I spent with you. Please continue to be my friend, as you will always find me yours. -Ludwig Van Beethoven

A fact in itself is nothing. It is valuable only for the idea attached to it, or for the proof which it furnishes. -Claude Bernard

I no longer worry about being a brilliant conversationalist. I simply try to be a good listener. I notice that people who do that are usually welcome wherever they go. -Frank Bettger

We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough? -Niels Bohr

Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it. -Buddha

It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality i accept. -Calvin and Hobbes

Religion convinced the world that there's an invisible man in the sky who watches everything you do. And there's 10 things he doesn't want you to do or else you'll to to a burning place with a lake of fire until the end of eternity. But he loves you! ...And he needs money! He's all powerful, but he can't handle money! -George Carlin

As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it. -d**k Cavett

There are two perfectly good men, one dead, and the other unborn. -Chinese Proverb

He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever. -Chinese Proverb

I think the next best thing to solving a probem is finding some humor in it. -Frank A. Clark

One of the great tragedies of mankind is that morality has been hijacked by religion. -Arthur C. Clarke

The intellegence of the planet is constant, and the population is growing. -Arthur C. Clarke

Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood. -Marie Curie

Solitude, though it may be silent as light, is like light, the mightiest of agencies; for solitude is essential to man. All men come into this world alone and leave it alone. -Thomas De Quincey

Watch me not care. -Dilbert

Right or wrong, it's very pleasant to break something from time to time. -Fedor Dostoevski

Boys frustrate me. I hate all thier indirect messages, I hate game playing. Do you like me or don't you? Just tell me so I can get over you. Kirsten Dunst

Nothing is often a good thing to say, and always a clever thing to say. -Will Durant

The most unbelievable social convention of the age in which we live is the one to the effect that all religious opinions should be respected, no matter how ignorant. -William Edelen

Imagination is more important than knowledge. -Albert Einstein

No amount of experimentation can ever prove me right; a single experiment can prove me wrong. -Albert Einstein

There are some people who live in a dream world, and there are some who face reality; and then there are those who turn one into the other. -Douglas Everett

If fifty million people say a foolish thing it is still a foolish thing. -Anatole France

I haven't failed. I've found 10,000 ways that won't work. -Benjamin Franklin

Code of Honor: Never approach a friend's girlfriend or wife with mischief as your goal. There are just too many women in the world to justify that sort of dishonorable behavior. Unless she's really attractive. -Bruce Jay Friedman

I have never met a man so ignorant that I couldn't learn something from him. -Galileo Galilei

Believe those who seek the truth; doubt those who find it. -Andre Gide

It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not. -Andre Gide

It's never too late to do nothing at all. -Alan Ginsberg

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. -Natalie Goldberg

Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, 'It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver. -Jack Handy

The danger is not that computers will think like men, but that men will think like computers. -Sydney J. Harris

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools. -Ernest Hemingway

The first draft of anything is always s**t. -Ernest Hemingway

You have to go on and be crazy. Craziness is like heaven. -Jimi Hendrix

Passionate hatred can give meaning and purpose to an empty life. -Eric Hoffer

It's email, not magic. It's the electronic equivalent of a piece of paper, yet people seem to think it can accomplish such miracles as curing dying children, stopping the creation of imaginary laws in congress, and nobler enterprises such as getting free clothes from Gap, all for flooding the inboxes of your friends, coworkers and relatives with get-rich-quick schemes a two-year-old could see through... provided it arrived via snail mail. -Carla Homan

Don't take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive. -Elbert Hubbard

The believer is happy. The doubter is wise. -Hungarian proverb

If you believe everything you read, better not read. Japanese proverb

A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices. -William James

Shake off all fears of servile prejudices, under which weak minds are servilely crouched. Fix reason firmly in her seat, and call on her tribunal for every fact, every opinion. Question with boldness even the existence of a God, because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason than that of blind faith. -Thomas Jefferson

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't. -Erika Jong

Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you. - Carl Gustav Jung

It's not what happens to you in life that's important, it's how you react to what happens. -Mike Keenan

The real test of friendship is: can you literally do nothing with the other person? Can you enjoy those moments of life that are utterly simple? -Eugene Kennedy

Life sucks, but death doesn't put out at all. -T. J. Kopp

I do not think I will ever reach a stage when I will say, "This is what I believe. Finished." What I believe is alive... and open to growth. -Madeleine L'Engle

Time you enjoy wasting, is not wasted. -John Lennon

If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting? -Stephen Levine

people are just as happy as they make up their minds to be. -Abraham Lincoln

The imaginary friends I had as a kid dropped me because their friends thought I didn't exist. -Aaron Machado

We have uniformly rejected all letters and declined all discussion upon the question of when the present century ends, as it is one of the most absurd that can engage the public attention, and we are astonished to find it has been the subject of so much dispute, since it appears plain. The present century will not terminate till January 1, 1801, unless it can be made out that 99 are 100. It is a silly, childish discussion, and only exposes the want of brains of those who maintain a contrary opinion to that we have stated. -The (London) Times, December 26, 1799

Don't be so humble - you are not that great. -Golda Meir

Love is the extremely difficult realization that something other than onself is real. -Iris Murdoch

Nobody really cares if you're miserable, so you might as well be happy. -Cynthia Nelms

It is a known fact that women have better verbal skills than men. I just have to say: Duh! -Conan O'Brien

The world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed. -Sean O'Casey

Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope. -P. J. O'Rourke

I don't care how good you play, you can find somebody who can beat you, and I don't care how bad you play, you can find someone you can beat. -Harvey Penick

I am grateful for all my problems. After each one was overcome, I became stronger and more able to meet those that were still to come. I grew in all my difficulties. -J.C. Penney

The happiest person is he who thinks the most interesting thoughts. -William Lyon Phelps

I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well." -Emo Phillips

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. so i ran over and said "stop! don't do it!" "Why shouldn't I?" he said. I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!" He said, "Like what?" I said, "Well...are you religious or atheist?" He said, "Religious." I said, "Me too! Are you Christian or Buddhist?" He said, "Christian." I said, "Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?" He said, "Protestant." I said, "Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?" He said, "Baptist!" I said, "Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?" He said, "Baptist Church of God!" I said, "Me too! Are you original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?" He said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God!" I said, "Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?" He said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915!" I said, "Die, heretic scum", and pushed him off. -Emo Phillips

There is no abstract art. You must always start with something. -Pablo Picasso

The harder you work, the luckier you get. -Gary Player

To believe everthing or to doubt everything are two equally convienent solutions: Both dispense with the need for reflection. -Jules Henri Poincare'

The world is round and the place which may seem like the end may also be only the beginning. -Ivy Baker Priest

I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch. -Gilda Radner

I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity. -Gilda Radner

You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by the way he eats jelly beans. -Ronald Reagan

Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties. -Jules Renard

Courage is doing what you're afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared. -Eddie Rickenbacher

I discovered a long time ago that if I helped people get what they wanted, I would always get what I wanted and I would never have to worry. -Anthony Robbins

Destiny is as destiny does. If you believe you have no control, then you have no control. -Wess Roberts

In science it often happens that scientists say, 'You know that's a really good argument; my position is mistaken,' and then they would actually change their minds and you never hear that old view from them again. They really do it. It doesn't happen as often as it should, because scientists are human and change is sometimes painful. But it happens every day. I cannot recall the last time someting like that happened in politics or religion. -Carl Sagan

Illusions are dangerous people. They have no flaws. -A line in "Sabrina"

Be happy while you're living, for you're a long time dead. -Scottish Proverb

I often quote myself; it adds spice to my conversation. -George Bernard Shaw

The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one. The happiness of credulity is a cheap and dangerous quality. -George Bernard Shaw

If you want to make someone hate you, explain to them, logically and politely, why they are wrong. -Phil Simborg

Heh Heh Heh! Lisa! Vampires are make believe, just like elves and gremlins and eskimos! -Homer Simpson

I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T! S-M-R-T! I mean, S-M-A-R-T! -Homer Simpson, singing, upon finding out he's been admitted to college

Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand. -Homer Simpson

Any kid'll run an errand for you if you ask at bedtime. -Red Skelton

Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake. -Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph. -Shirley Temple

Do not look back in anger, or forward in fear, but around in awareness. -James Thurber

All that is gold does not glitter; not all those that wander are lost. -J. R. R. Tolkien

Norms are things that are always perceived, but never achieved. Phillip A. Trella

Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today. -Mark Twain

Few things are harder to put up with than a good example. -Mark Twain

Get your facts first, then you can distrue them as you please. -Mark Twain

Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to. -Mark Twain

Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very"; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be. -Mark Twain

The best minds will tell you that when a man has begotten a child he is morally bound to tenderly care for it, protect it from hurt, shield it from disease, clothe it, feed it, bear with its waywardness, lay no hand upon it save in kindness and for its own good, and never in any case inflict upon it a wanton cruelty. God's treatment of his earthly children, every day and every night, is the exact opposite of all that, yet those best minds warmly justify these crimes, condone them, excuse them, and indignantly refuse to regard them as crimes at all, when he commits them. -Mark Twain

There is probably no pleasure equal to the pleasure of climbing a dangerous Alp, but it is a pleasure which is confined strictly to people who can find pleasure in it. -Mark Twain

Love is not a desicion, it is a feeling. If we could decide who we love, it would be alot simpler, but alot less magical. -Mr Twig, "South Park"

Often we have no time for our friends, but all the time in the world for our enemies. -Lean Uris

Serious people have few ideas. People with ideas are never serious. -Paul Valery

Organized religion is a sham and a crutch for weak-minded people who need strength in numbers. -Minnesota Governor Jesse Ventura

Infatuation is when you think that he's as sexy as Robert Redford, as smart as Henry Kissinger, as noble as Ralph Nader, as funny as Woody Allen, and as athletic as Jimmy Conners. Love is when you realize he's as sexy as Woody Allen, as smart as Jimmy Conner, as funny as Ralph Nader, as athletic as Henry Kissinger and nothing like Robert Redford-but you'll take him anyway. -Judith Viorst

Common Sense is not so common. -Voltaire

An Academic speculated whether a bather is beautiful if there is none in the forest to admire her. He hid in the bushes to find out, which vitiated his premise but made him happy.
Moral: Empiricism is more fun than speculation.
-Sam Weber

I don't say we all ought to misbehave, but we ought to look as if we could. -Orson Welles

Most modern technology, as good as it may be, is inherently evil. -Gary Welch (of The Katies - its a really good band)

He who hesitates is a damned fool. -Mae West

Whenever I have to decide between two evils, I always choose the one I haven't tried before. -Mae West

The world is full of people who have never, since childhood, met an open doorway with an open mind. -E. B. White

I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today. -William Allen White

Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian. -Dennis Wholey

Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months. -Oscar Wilde

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go. -Oscar Wilde

There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it. -Oscar Wilde

There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about. -Oscar Wilde

The man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it. -Woodrow Wilson

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down. -Oprah Winfrey

I used to believe in forever, but forever was too good to be true. -Winnie the Pooh

I think - therefore I'm single. -Lizz Winstead

No man chooses evil because it is evil; he only mistakes if for happiness. -Mary Wollstonecraft

What is the difference between apathy and ignorance? I don't know and I don't care. -World Entertainment War

My Book (a spot where I tell about people that are awesome or detestable):