a good friend helps you up when you trip but a best friend laughs and trips you again

okie-dockie-ardachoke

A Hero?
A good person
A good friend
Respectful
Well-behaved
Strong
Brave
Wise
Wealthy
Is that what makes a hero?
Yes?
No?
What makes a real hero?
Do hero’s have to be strong,
Brave,
Wise,
Wealthy,
Respectful,
A good person? To be a hero?
Yes?
No?
Or
Is a hero someone who is:
Scared,
Weak,
Poor,
Bad mannered?
Is that a hero?
Could both be a hero?
Does it matter what qualities you have?
Yes?
No?
Could a hero be poor?
Yes?
No?
Isn’t what’s on the inside what makes you a hero?

I hate everything about you why do i love you

you need that boy like a bowling ball dropped on your head which means not at all

A Dream is a Nightmare

I am to weak to keep my eyes open
But I am afraid to let them shut
I cant hold on any longer
My eyes have shut
Its not so bad I tell my self
I see my self I’m dreaming
I am skipping down the side walk
Not older than the age of six
I stop abruptly
Turning I motion for my daddy to hold my hand
I see him with the look of
Worry
It’s written all over his face
I turn back I see a car slowly driving by us
I didn’t think it mattered to much
For I just turned to my daddy and reached for his hand but suddenly he grabbed me
He turns to run
Now I am afraid of the car for it has stopped
A man has come out from the car he has a
Gun
I know what is coming next
I reach up and whisper
Daddy I love you
Then I hear the gun fire I squeeze my eyes shut
I feel my daddy’s body drop to the ground
I let my hot tears slide down my cheeks as we fall to the ground
I look him in the eye and tell him I love him again
He said baby I love you too
He then shut his eyes and died
I cried harder and harder I looked at my hands
They were stained with his blood
I screamed no daddy please come back to me
Suddenly I woke up in a cold damp sweat
I knew it was a dream that that’s not the way he really died
But I lay back down and let my tears fall silently down my face

Pain
Can you feel it?
Can you feel my
PAIN
Please, please will you help me
Why do I push you away when you’ve come to help me
If your not supposed to help me than who?
Who will help?
I need you God
Please come and help me here
Please just help me now
I can’t take this pain
Why, why haven’t you come to help me
Help me through this
PAIN
It’s hurting me to hold in my pain
I need to let it out
I just need to
SCREAM
Out my pain
I need you here with me
Please stay with me
Oh God how I need you help me through my
PAIN

I worry about you ya know
I know you think I don’t care about you
But I do
I care about you more than you know
I know I tell you that I hate you
But I don’t
I just hate the things you do
Why do I hurt you
Why do you hurt me
I cant take it when your hurt
I hate to see you in pain
Emotional
Physical
It doesn’t matter what kind
Because its all the same in the end
In the end its still pain
I clench my hands to my heart when I cause you pain
My heart throbs at your pain
I regret the things I’ve done and said
When I look in your eyes and see your hurt
I hurt
I let my tears fall when your not there
Why do I love you
If all you do is hurt me
Why do you love me
If all I do is hurt you
Why do I cause you pain
Why do I hurt you
Why do you hurt me
Why do you cause me pain
Why do we do the things we do

The 6year Mark

Today is the marking of 6 years
6 long hard tearful years
it’s hard to grasp the fact that he is gone
I miss him I miss my daddy
Why must I still cry
I know that he held the majority of my heart
My heart was in his hands
And when it happened my heart shattered
Shattered into millions
I am slowly picking up the pieces of my heart
Though I believe God has sent my now best friend to me
She still can’t fill up the hole
Why cant she?
Because God sent me a friend
Who is just a human
A human who can be gone at the snap of fingers
Then where would I be
I’d be with a bigger hole in my heart
One I can’t handle
I can barely handle the one I have now
I still remember the day he died
It feels like yesterday
I can still remember when the doctor told us he was dead
I remember when I hugged him and didn’t feel his arms around me
I remember laying my head down on his chest and not hearing his heart beat
That’s when I knew he was dead
I remember hugging him tighter and sobbing saying please come back to me
I sobbed harder when my pastor said he’s gone to a better place
Eventually I stopped sobbing
But that image never leaves me
I cry every time I see it in my head