Remind me to update my interests.
~ May your sails stay full and your socks stay dry! ~ Animal Crossing
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Despite that however, you continue reading on in the futile hope that somehow your time will not be wasted. That maybe somewhere in this utterly vague and wistful attempt at communication, a small grain of thought-provoking material will become evident. Sadly this is not the case. In the time it took you to copy, paste, and enlarge this material, you could have clicked a link that would have saved your life. For this is no ordinary message...in fact...if you are still reading this, it is already too late. Only moments ago when you first began reading this text, I began to plot your demise.
Even now as you still read this hoping that this is some sort of sick and twisted joke my plans are coming to fruition. From the moment you began to read this you were doomed. Even though you could have stopped, you wouldn't because of your weak human curiosity.
It must hurt to know that it didn't have to end this way...you think to yourself, "maybe if I had something better to do than worry about what a stupid message of such an illegible size had to say, this wouldn't have happened...maybe if someone had called at just the right moment, I would have forgotten all about it"...but no...you're trapped now...
It's funny how even knowing that right this second I have secretly unlocked your front door and am now surreptitiously slipping into your home to carry out my dreadful plans, your eyes are glued to the screen, still reading this inane drivel, desperately clawing at the idea that I'm simply going to chuckle at the end and tell you that I'm only kidding, that everything is going to be okay...and that it's just someone else's cold breath you feel licking the back of your throat...
Well-goodbye!