About
when i say im strange,i mean im strange.im very unique living in a weird world that wears a mask of normalcy.who can say what 'normal' is since every1s true views of whats normal r different?i want a normal life,been in search of it 4 a long time.@the end of this youll understand MY normal as well as what isnt MY normal.im a jewel a raw diamond,that people pick up,dust some dirt away,carry 4 awhile,then toss back out in2 some unknown land.some occassions some1 will pick me up&try 2 chip a piece off me they like/dislike,or try 2 polish me.when this doesnt work they toss me as hard as they can 2 the dirt,not seeing & unfeeling 2 the scars left by them.
what im looking 4?...im looking 4 some1 wholl see me from afar as the light touches my surface&will come 2 me,only seeing me as they walk past all the other jewels willing 2 bend&b cut & polished 4 their next life.not seeing or hearing the calls of other people 2 not bother with me,reach me&still know im what they r looking 4.bend&pick me up&take me home 2 stay with them til this life is over.2 sit me on a lovely pillow where they can always see&touch me,&give me that look that says "mine,&damn proud of it".always willing 2 show me off&never hurt all cuz some people dont share the sight they have.never wanting 2 polish me without my calling out 2 b polished.this some1 will take me with them,not by force but by love&need 2 have me close,on long stays away from home,&will NEVER put me in a box.
ive had the life of being cut in2 smaller pieces&divied out 2 top$...been there,done that,never liked it,never will.ive had the life of being with someone who didnt love me but never cut me...still not 4 me.ive had the life of love 4 using me...im not 1 2 b used.ive lived the life of 1 sided love(done this willingly 4 only 1 person)&been scarred&then cast away just 4 pleading 4 that love 2 b returned upon finding out they lied from the begining about having that love 4 me...scars arent the only bad that comes with this life&none of it i want.ive lived the life of lies&force 2 b with&b something im not or b tortured&scarred...1 of the worst lives out there.i survived it,still scarred,but still alive&still looking 4 my ultimate life.
ive lived ALL lives but 1...the 1 i was born 2 live...
most jewels break&turn 2 dust after just a taste of an abused life.but im still here shining MY rare,special,lovely beauty.I WILL NEVER BREAK COMPLETLY!&if i do,ill find a way 2 piece myself back 2gether with what i have left.im stronger than anyone ive met in the 25 years of this life.im still learning how 2 live in a world that jewels like me dont exist anymore cuz no 1 yet has been strong enough 2 keep fighting with nothing&no 1 as i have.
i will not settle anymore 4 lives that i dont want or deserve.
selfish?No.stubborn?hell yeah.the right 2 b stubborn?OH HELL YES!
i can fight&survive,but cant quite just live...yet.so b easy&love me 4 me not what i can b
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