About

Johns: How's it look?
Riddick: Looks clear.
[Johns steps forward, and a creature flies out towards them. They duck and it flies into the night]
Johns: You said it was clear!
Riddick: I said it *looked* clear.
Johns: Well, how does it look now?
Riddick: Looks clear.
-Pitch Black

Johns: He just escaped from a maximum security prison.
Fry: Should he just stay locked up forever?
Johns: That would be my choice.
Fry: Is he really that dangerous?
Johns: Only around humans.
-Pitch Black

[They hear creatures inside the ship]
Richard B. Riddick: Come on, Johns. You got the big gauge.
William J. Johns: I'd rather piss glass. Why don't you go ********' check?
-Pitch Black

Bill Clinton: I'm Bill Clinton! I'm gonna push over this cow!
-Robot Chicken

Child: Is this gonna hurt?
Doctor: Only if God hates you.
-Robot Chicken

Janis: [Janis is appearing on the Howard Stern radio show] I just found out I have Hepatitis C. I only have five years left to live.
Howard Stern: Are you going to show us your breasts?
Janis: ******** you, Howard! I'm dying!
-Robot Chicken

Draco Malfoy: Hey Potter, I taught the Sorting Hat a new trick!
[he places it onto Harry Potter's head]
The Sorting Hat: VIRGIN!
-Robot Chicken

Slevin's Girlfriend: [after Slevin walks in on her cheating on him] This is an accident.
Slevin: What, Like... He tripped, you fell?
-Lucky Number Sleven

The Rabbi: But killing you before you killed me would be...
Slevin: Kosher?
The Rabbi: Acceptable.
-Lucky Number Sleven

Slevin: Anything else you want to tell me?
The Boss: I suppose I don't need to say anything as terribly cliche as "go to the police and you're a dead man".
Slevin: I think you just did.
The Boss: I guess I did.
-Lucky Number Sleven

Ryan Dunn: Ooh my hip! I think I just gave birth!
-Jackass 2

Chris Pontius: Water-based lubricants, friend or foe? You be the judge.
-Jackass 2

Ryan Dunn: What a dumbass idea! I'm surrounded by cacti, for ******** sake!
Spike Jonze: *Offscreen* It's cactus!
Ryan Dunn: IT'S CACTI!
Spike Jonze: *Offscreen* Cactus!
Ryan Dunn: Whatever it is, it hurts!
-Jackass

Ryan Dunn: I'm not too excited about this skit, it's not my favorite I've ever done, because there's a toy car in my butt. But this is the "Butt X-Ray".
-Jackass

Johnny Knoxville: [to Steve O] Go grab the dead kitty! You're not going to save the kitty?
-Jackass

Freddy Krueger: Aw... tilt.
-Freddy vs. Jason

Carlton: For a long time it gave me nightmares... witnessing an injustice like that... it's a constant reminder of just how unfair this world can be... I can still hear them taunting him... silly rabbit, tricks are for kids... I mean, WHY COULDN'T THEY JUST GIVE HIM SOME CEREAL?
-The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

Will: Carlton, I think you've been deprived of oxygen at birth.
-The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

Hilary: What kind of idiot picks a password no one can guess?
-The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air