well, let me tell you a little about me, and you can tell me a little about you and we'll see if we can get along, ok? it's not real impressive that all your friends abandoned you, MadSoul ... did you murder them with that chainsaw??
but well .. i must say .. you got dogbrains here all excited. that's how his mother used to kiss him, you know. no, not with a chainsaw, he saw your insane tongue hanging out when you were panting like that. yea. her name was dogbreath. yea, she smelled like she'd had her face up someone's butt. thank god that particular trait didn't pass down to dogbrains here. it's bad enough when he starts humping your leg in public every spring, or chasing any old thing somebody might have thrown when we're walking by. he's got an incredible grip, too. that's why the straightjacket is necessary. once he's got his hands on something, he never lets go. that comes from his father's side of the family. monkeyballs was his name.
did i tell you how i got the name "major problems"?
well ... let me just say ... totally off the record ... that kid is still holding onto my weiner. we never could get him to let go. public restroom. had to amputate. i begged them to amputate the kids arms instead, but the firemen told me that'd be child abuse.
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but well .. i must say .. you got dogbrains here all excited. that's how his mother used to kiss him, you know. no, not with a chainsaw, he saw your insane tongue hanging out when you were panting like that. yea. her name was dogbreath. yea, she smelled like she'd had her face up someone's butt. thank god that particular trait didn't pass down to dogbrains here. it's bad enough when he starts humping your leg in public every spring, or chasing any old thing somebody might have thrown when we're walking by. he's got an incredible grip, too. that's why the straightjacket is necessary. once he's got his hands on something, he never lets go. that comes from his father's side of the family. monkeyballs was his name.
did i tell you how i got the name "major problems"?
well ... let me just say ... totally off the record ... that kid is still holding onto my weiner. we never could get him to let go. public restroom. had to amputate. i begged them to amputate the kids arms instead, but the firemen told me that'd be child abuse.
yea. major problems. that's me.
so what's your story?