Birthday: 08/04
bombing for peace is like
******** for virginity
Me and my bitches!!! XD
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
There's too much blood in my caffeine system.
My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely.
Why is a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!!!!!
People will believe anything if you whisper it.
This would be really funny if it weren't happening to me!
I'll try being nicer, if you try being smarter.
Instead of being born again, why not just grow up?
Love your enemies, it gets them really confused.
My mind wandered..and never came back.
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
They are not hot flashes...They are power surges.
I live in another dimension, but have a summer home in reality.
Chaos, panic & disorder.... my work here is done
Don't believe everything you think.
I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.
Money can't buy happiness. But it sure makes misery easier to live with
It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
Some of my favorite quotes are along the sides!
He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
Chocolate is the answer to EVERYTHING.
A day without sunshine is like, night.
Operator! Give me the number for 911!
Funny, I don't remember being absent minded.
Never raise your hands to your kids; it leaves your lower half unprotected.
Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips
I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.
Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
I thought I wanted a career... Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
Keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
Like Daddy always said: if you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with nonsense.
You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
All information in this post is true in some sense, false in some sense, and meaningless in some sense.
The difference between insanity and genius is measured only by success.
Why is it that when you transport something by car, its called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, its called cargo?
Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays?
People who urge you to be realistic generally want you to accept their definition of reality.
Reason to smile: Every 7 minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.
Letting the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back.
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Why do they rate a movie "R" for "adult language?" The only people I hear using that language are teenagers.
If a kid asks where rain comes from, I tell him, "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, I tell him, "Probably because of something you did."
I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
There are three types of people in this world - those who can count, and those who can't.
Buckle up! It makes it harder for the aliens to suck you out of your car.
If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of the same stuff?
I knew something was wrong when my imaginary friends wouldn't talk to me...
Humpty Dumpty was pushed!
All the king's HORSES and all the king's men? No wonder they couldn't put Humpty together again. Just what did they expect the horses to do, anyway?
Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together.
Hit me up!!
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L-o-v-E ~Girl~
u know
~angel is smart~