Lost most of my quotes. Found some from my obsession:



"Sleep is God. Go worship."



"Paranoid. Probably. But just because you're paranoid it doesn't mean that there isn't an invisable demon about to eat your face."



"Are you always a wise-a**?"

"No. Sometimes I'm asleep"



"Life is a journey, Time is a river, The door is ajar."



"Mostly I was saving my own a**. The world just happened to be in the same spot."

"There's an image that will give me nightmares."



"Beauty can be dangerous, and fire, though lovely, can burn and kill when not treated with respect."



"Ignorance isn't just bliss. It's freaking orgasmic ecstacy."



"Are those good time hand cuffs or bad time hand cuffs?"



"When you do something stupid and die it's pathetic. When you do something stupid and survive it, then you get to call it impressive or heroic."

"What we're doing now, it's pathetic. Isn't it?"

"Probably."



"All women love motorcycles, they're big vibrators on wheels."



"Listen to me," I snarled. "We are not

going to die."

Butters stared up at me, pale, his eyes terrified. "We're not?"

"No. And do you know why?"

He shook his head.

"Because Thomas is too pretty to die. And because I'm too stubborn to die." I hauled on the shirt even harder. "And most of all because tomorrow is Oktoberfest, Butters, and polka will never die."



"It's called work? See, what happens is that you suffer doing annoying and humiliating things until you get paid not enough money."



"'A second later the door opened and Murphy glared up at me, blue eyes bright and cold. "Get more away. I've been fighting this computer all day long. I swear, if you blow out my hard drive again, I'm taking it out of your a**.'

'Why would your hard drive be in my a**?' I said.

Murphy's eyes narrowed.

'Ah, hah, hah, heh. Yeah, okay. I'll be going, then'".



"'Holy s**t,' I breathed. 'Hellhounds.'

'Harry,' Michael said sternly. 'You know I hate it when you swear.'

'You're right. Sorry. Holy s**t,' I breathed. 'Heckhounds'".



"And again I do answer thee: Bite me."



"'Molly?' I asked. 'Wow, you sound all grown-up now.'

She laughed. "Yeah, the breast fairy came to visit and everything. Did you want to talk to my mom?"

Some might find it significant that it took me a second to realize she wasn't being literal about the faerie. Sometimes I hate my life.



"What can I say, inspiring anger in my fellow man is my gift. I have a responsibility to use it wisely."



"I wanted to smack the clock for waking me up, but I reined in the impulse. I'm not against a little creative violence now and then, but you have to draw the line somewhere. I wouldn't sleep in the same room with a person who would smack Mickey Mouse."