About

Prepare yourself for amazement and Wonder!


Blimey! Yeah all right you've made it! Welcome to the revolution! I started A revolution on May Day 2002 at a roit in London.

I'm in this crowd of insane yobbo's, Yobbin around, and I thought to myself, whats the thing to do? So up I climbs onto this Van right? adding my bit to this revolution, -And I must point out at this moment that I was high on drugs, mad high and desparate- so I thought to get this revolution moving it OBVIOUSLY needs me to get my arse out, So 'down goes my trousers and pants!' and out comes my arse, mooning over a thousand people and riot police without any hesitation. then I thinks to myself well what to do now? and the only thing one can do after that, to follow it up, is to get naked. obviously. and I thinks that I should also point out, that doing drugs reduces the size of your p***s size by 80% but what they dont tell you is that it also affects your memory, so. there I am naked on the van doing my thing, dancing around to the jeers of the yobbo's, the sheer confidence, but then I happen to see how small my c**k is, so I try to reposition it, but that aint working so down I get before this mob tares it apart like a pack of angry dogs. Revolution would be better conducted with my Y-fronts on. Clinton had a cegar, Churchill had a cegar, me I'm left with a scraggy little dog end.

But thats enough of that sort of ruhbarb. Our societys shite aint it? I mean have you BEEN out there? while our governments handing out hosepipe bans, ***** are out roaming the streets, it aint right is it? and them kiddies love to play with them hosepipes, they enjoy it.

Then these journalists? attacking my womanizing ways? women find me charming, and alluring, like moths to an open flame, So I says, "I neva' touched the ******** SLAG!" right casonaova, me aint I? Blimey.

There are two things my mother insisted to me when I was younger the first was that I was a good swimmer...she only said that because I havent drowned yet. The second was that I was a handsome devil. Unlike these complete constructions of the media, bottle blonde brunettes being the naturel? stick thin being the norm? anything over a size 12 unnaturel? spots unnaturel? these teen magazines, well I tell you what aint Bloody naturel! a society that surpresses people for mentioning the spots on there faces in the first place. We must all go to the houses of parliment Naked, and lets make a bloody, Point!

These magazine people are sitting in there offices going " I'm embarrased about my arsehole! theres so much s**t coming out of there, I'm going to have to sew it up" pitty it aint there mouths, theres plenty of s**t coming out of there an'all. Slaves to beauty! I however need not for teen magazines or the media, I lyterally INJECT myself with beauty, however I have been told that there are side effects, the least worse of them all being death... the death of beauty, now if someone said to me "beautys all ganna die man!" I'd be like "oh no! what are we going to do, oh s**t oh Jesus were all ********! GIVE ME THAT NEEDLE! I will not let it be so!" Fame is so translucent aint it, you can inject all the silocone you like but it aint ganna change the fact that your a Nasty b***h.

Then theres these EMO's with tears painted on there faces, ah... Murderers do that to show how many people they have killed, but thats going to be Next Weeks topic, We've dug up Fred West for that.

We must have some sort of refermendom! Is it right that the only way a teenager can spend time with his grandparents is to stick false boobs made out of chiken fillets to his chest and pretenting to be some sort of Glamour Puss? it aint right is it? So why am I being forced fed 5 portions of fruit and Veg a day by the Government And MORE magazine can condeme children to eat lipstick, But these perverts and that fish that killed Steve Irwin are allowed to be free?

In this weeks Issue of MORE magazine it said I was "Analytical, Vain, Self-Opionated, Self-Consumed, Self-Osessed and generally not a nice man. But I dont care about that... Just get that picture of me looking like a minger outta HEAT magazine and replace it with an airbrished one.

I aint denying that I'm vain, infact I'm SO vain that I once picked blonde hair off a Labrodor Reteriver and stuck it to my own quiff with hair gell to look like 'Vanilla Ice' Courious is it? I mean why bother havin bits cut off and stuck on somewhere else, if you want something just stare at it for a while or go to the shops and buy it.
Dig up with some beauty! The media needs to be torn to shreds by a pack of manegy Hounds! the SWINES! We needs a revoloution right now! lets not let this realationship continue any further otherwise I'll have to read about it in tomorrows newspaper, and the terrbile things they have been saying about my Dinkle.

I love you and leave you my loviles! GOODBYYEEE, GOODBYES I LOVE YOUUU GOOOO BYEE! WOOO.

Harrryyyyyy CriiiishhhNahhhhh!!!


Russel Brand