1 4M HOM3STUCK TR4SH

ehh, siddeh here, as you can tell, so i guess im going to write a little about my self, hope fully i wont get super into it and write to much.

basics: sid,18,bi, straight i dont know, ive only allowed my self to have one female lover, and thats probably my last.

i consider my self, as a learner i learn new things everyday, as some days i dont ill learn more than one thing the new day, I love to write poetry, as much as i could, i used to let people read them but, they have gotten too personal so i haven't allowed my self too anymore.

i draw alot, but my drawings arent as good, i cant envision something and draw them out, i try to but its hard, i have my own way of drawing, that is a mix of anime and regular drawing which makes them weird and not as good. people tell me its good, biut i obviously dont believe a word they say because i dont trusy people, ive learned to trust a few people but they have obviously lost my trust, and it came from 4 people down to one, so dont tell me to trust you because i wont.. its just me..

in am a very organized, person not as organized like neat, but i put my stuff together in orders i can find them easily, i have my fears of my things, for i sleep in a basement and im scared of the heater and the water pipes so i have al my belongings set incase of emergencies and i have emergency plans as well.

i have not have much fears at all just a few things like, big bird and planes, i dont fear demons or ghosts or dying. just those couple of things. i just let my self live and accept the things that they have in offer in life,so it wont bother me at all if something bothers me. or such,

my love life, heh, well yeah i let my self love, but its on hold for a while, i dont think anyone is worthwhile anymore, i did but now its just all gone. i thaught i had the right one, but ended up its all gone in misery. for a few small reasons, that i shouldent allow myself to hurt for it but ill continue to search, but im on hiatis for that meanwhile...

as my music, i love anything screamo, i dislike alot of bands as well like alkaline trio... i like techno, im getting more into it especially japanese techno its getting a thing that im listening to more and more, my top favorite bands have to be scarykids scaring kids and alesana, dropdeadgorgeousetc. there are alot of band that i like and that i like to listen to, trance is one of my favorite technos and such. i dislike rap, and music related to them except some grindcore, i cannot understand a word that they say and i really dont like there prophanity that are included in most of the songs. as of other genres, it depends on what or how the song beat goes that i will like,,,


i was supposed to be done with school but my past life had made my life blue, s the passing of my dear friends, and some of my disabilities made me move onto depression and see the dark side of life, i only had one friend that will always be there for me and that friend only is the person i trust and the person that share all my personal things, there wasn't no one that i ever trusted with my deepest secrets like him, well becides my last love.. but i havent told him everything,.. because i didnt want him to see my other side, as i heard of his, there are alot of mysteries to solve from me but most of them are cold cases.

i have grown tired of life as i lived these 18 years of misery, we all have made mistakes and most of us regret our past mistakes, but we learn from them unless you dont want to learn from them, as i count my mistakes they are much more then the ones that i have solved, i cant find my instances to make them up again because most of them are reapets and some that i cannot fix. for i only try to fix the recent ones or the ones that i know how to fix, ive grown tired of my miseries and i have to learn how to just move on to something new and not be depressed for something that is tireing and opressive.

i believe in ghosts and i love to be a ghost hunter one day as some people know me, they know my abilities,,, i studied and read so many ghost books so i can know about them and what they do, i have had so many expieriences and not even funny i at least get two everyday, its not because only my house is haunted its also other places that i go to like school, friends houses and such, i know many of my friends houses that are uber haunted and i like to investigate them, but that'll be weird, ive investigated some housed and some abandoned no tresspassing places where i can get into trouble for, but ive caught some interesting things there that i really see and proves ghosts exiist to my fellow skeptics, i got pissed when i missed the ghostadventures video thing so i can win an investigation with them, and thats like one of my dreams i can write a 20 page essay in why i love ghost hunting and why i believe in ghosts,,, but you know busyness sucks,

dam'n i wrote to much its like a journal... ill have a intersession and ill write latter..... like anyone going to read this anyway....

here is a poem or a rhyme that i adore:

on one dark day and one bright night, two dead boys got up to fight, one was blind the other couldent see, they used a dummy as a refaree they stood back to back and faced eachother drew there swords and shot eachother, a deaf police man heard the noise and came to kill the two dead boys.....