My Pain. I try to hold it all inside, I try to keep it all to myself, This pain i try not to even type, This frustration, that resides in the heart of mine, I try to keep it in my heart, But it all spurs out through my eyes, In a form of tears, My body shakes, as if it was surrounded by ice, But the weather is hot, the sun is shining, smiling, or is it taunting and mocking???? I prefer this darkness, where everything is hidden, i cry yet no one sees, i scream, but no one hears, I run, but find myself back to where i started, I cut, but pain is no where to be felt, All i see is this red liquid, that everybody calls blood, I try to kill myself, but then my conscience, stops me, I try to lift my self up, but these people just throw me off, I grab my hair, and i tear it out, to release this tension, to let this stress out, I wear long sleeves to hide these scars, I wear glasses to hide my teary eyes, I wear black so i wont be standing out, I stay away from people, as they always end up hurting me, I tried to win this girl's heart but ended up losing mine, i tried to become this girl's FRIEND, but ended up losing my light, I tried to come closer to god, but ended up distancing myself, I tried to change myself, But ended up falling back into the darkness, i think I'm losing my mind, this loneliness, it's creeping on to me, I grab this knife, with a grip so strong, I bring it closer to my wrist, i make a quick slit, with a strong grip, The blood pours out, it drips on the floor, The knife, it falls from my hands, it digs deep into my foot, Now I'm hurt, i want to scream, as I'm in great pain, But then i realize, my brother is just few feet's away, I shove my fingers in my mouth, and sink my teeth on my already bloody fingers, with my shaking hand i remove this knife, theres blood everywhere, but I'm worried how will i clean this up, I put the knife away, its neatly hidden, where it's not supposed to be, I wrap a towel around my wrist, and my t-shirt on my foot, i slowly open the toilet door and run with an injured foot, to my dingy room, i quickly lock it, and collapse on my bed, And the next morning i wake up, with pain so strong, it makes me weep, I struggle to breathe, as this pain is so deep, My hand, i cannot lift, My foot, it's impossible to move, My stomach, it's asking for food, But i lay there on my bed, helplessly, just waiting to heal, I grab my laptop, which is always by my bed side, With one hand i type this pain of mine.........