About The High Tech Redneck
Born and raised in the back woods of the Heartland of the United States of America, this particular specimen can be classified as a 'redneck' of modern origins. Before the purely comical (and sometimes negative) connotations of such a label become forcibly seared into the forefront of the portion of the brain that controls memory I simply ask to let a few things be said in my defense:1. I am not, nor have I ever been, accurately portrayed by the standards set forth in many of Jeff Foxworthy's comedic skits. Yes a few things do apply and I take a great deal of enjoyment when laughing about them, but the vast majority of his comments apply more towards those befitting the label of 'white trash'.
2. My graduating class of 2001 consisted of 26 students (including myself) and I did not go to college. I instead went straight into the work force. This does not mean I am unintelligent.
3. Yes, I have an attitude, but I am also becoming an old softy. Marriage has a tendency to do that to us burgeoning curmudgeons, and I have had four and a half years of this non-stop infection called 'a wife'.
4. Yes, I wear denim jeans, t-shirts, ball caps, and steel toe boots when I am not working. They are comfortable and I am not out to win any fashion contests because I have never seen the point in acting in such a way.
5. No, porn is not my main reason for the internet. Intellectual and casual discussion as well as certain websites dedicated to my favorite series of fantasy books (yes, I read for the sheer enjoyment of it) are why I continue to browse this ever flowing ocean of information.
6. Yes, I play table-top role-playing games (including, but not limited to Dungeons & Dragons, Vampire: The Masquerade, and The Wheel Of Time Role-playing Game), card games (most notably the B-Movie Game Decks as made by Z-Man Games such as Grave Robbers From Outer Space and Kung Fu Samurai On Giant Robot Island), several board games, and The Lord Of The Rings Online MMORPG. And yes, I can kick your butt. smile
7. Yes, I do in fact listen to country music. I also listen to hip-hop, rap, rock, pop, heavy metal, glitter rock, punk rock, classic rock, do-wop, soul, bluegrass, classical, as well as a select few J-pop and Latino songs.
8. I was born into a lower working middle class family which means I have been just under the official poverty line my entire life. Forgive me for not having a Mercedes and a Condo or parents with enough money to provide for me whilst I sit at home and do nothing. I make do with the hand (*insert name of preferred Greater Presence/Deity here*) gave me.
9. I love nature. I like living in a rural area because I like wide open spaces as well as trees. Give me a green landscape instead of an urban gray backdrop any day.
10. My final reason for being an awesome person is that I have a bit of extra padding and a soft, fuzzy red beard. I am either a red-headed Santa Clause or a walking fluffy teddy bear. You just can not be mad at either of those for too long before you just want to run forward and snuggle them while squealing with joy. Besides, I also have the most adorable strawberry blond haired blue eyed boy you'll ever see.
Sincerely,
Tevolan
Avatar Art provided by gloomspell and Syrionia
Comments
View All Comments