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Jedi Holocron, Recorder: Atris. Subject: The Exile.
I met her on Dantooine. I had just joined the Academy, spirited and optimistic, eager to nurture young minds like hers who will grow to become Jedi. Now that I think back... Why was I so naive back then? Too eager to shower my trust, my love... on a girl who would one day betray me.
At a glance she was just an ordinary girl... and yet, there were things about her that made her different in my eyes. Her enthusiasm. Her warmth. Especially the way she struggled with the Force. She was a constant reminder of my purpose at the academy. Sadly for her, others didn't see her in the same light.
Becoming a Padawan should be a younglin's happiest and proudest moment. But her weak grasp of the Force didn't endear her to any competent Masters. She ended up with a broken man who was hardly around. I was appalled.
A misplaced hope can be more damaging than one would care to consider. While her master continued with his shameful habits, she was left lagging behind her peers even more. That didn't last for long.
Her Master's neglect had ensured that her abilities were mediocre at best. No Master wanted to deal with the kind of burden she presented at that age. It was then I decided. I may not be ready to take on a Padawan... but an assistant was a different story. Scholary archives may not be the most exciting thing for an adolescent to manage. But it was a diligence and a sense of purpose. Sometimes I let her take my place in certain tasks. Despite her akwardness, she had potentiol for nobler things in life.
However, being the youth that she was... like anyone her age, she craved excitement.
She would always beg Kavar to spar with her whenever he visited the Academy. Reluctantly, I left them to it. I had hoped that her frequent defeats would pull her head out of the clouds, making her realize her own limitations.
Suddenly war swept throughout the Galaxy. It was a dangerous time for impresionable ones in the Jedi order. While the council at Coruscant discussed how to approach the situation... an irresponsible Jedi Knight, Revan, took it upon himself to rally other Jedi to join him and the Republic in their crusade against the Mandalorians. Many flocked to Revan's side against the wishes of the council. And she was no exception.
Exile quote: "If you'd rather stay here like a coward, then go ahead! But don't tell me what I can or can't do!"
Her words wrenched in my heart, was enough to plant doubt within me... but I came to my senses, and wept. I hoped upon hope that she wasn't beyond redemption.
But when she returned two years later, she had become a completely different person. Gone was the gentle, agreeable Padawan I had took upon myself to care for when others would not. In her place was a ruffian, a vengeful beast that was ever defiant in facing the punishment meted out by the council.
And she had the gall to cast an accusing look at me, as if she was the one betrayed.
From that moment on, I ceased to care about her... I won't let her hurt me ever again. My heart is forever closed to her... My dearest Exile.
I met her on Dantooine. I had just joined the Academy, spirited and optimistic, eager to nurture young minds like hers who will grow to become Jedi. Now that I think back... Why was I so naive back then? Too eager to shower my trust, my love... on a girl who would one day betray me.
At a glance she was just an ordinary girl... and yet, there were things about her that made her different in my eyes. Her enthusiasm. Her warmth. Especially the way she struggled with the Force. She was a constant reminder of my purpose at the academy. Sadly for her, others didn't see her in the same light.
Becoming a Padawan should be a younglin's happiest and proudest moment. But her weak grasp of the Force didn't endear her to any competent Masters. She ended up with a broken man who was hardly around. I was appalled.
A misplaced hope can be more damaging than one would care to consider. While her master continued with his shameful habits, she was left lagging behind her peers even more. That didn't last for long.
Her Master's neglect had ensured that her abilities were mediocre at best. No Master wanted to deal with the kind of burden she presented at that age. It was then I decided. I may not be ready to take on a Padawan... but an assistant was a different story. Scholary archives may not be the most exciting thing for an adolescent to manage. But it was a diligence and a sense of purpose. Sometimes I let her take my place in certain tasks. Despite her akwardness, she had potentiol for nobler things in life.
However, being the youth that she was... like anyone her age, she craved excitement.
She would always beg Kavar to spar with her whenever he visited the Academy. Reluctantly, I left them to it. I had hoped that her frequent defeats would pull her head out of the clouds, making her realize her own limitations.
Suddenly war swept throughout the Galaxy. It was a dangerous time for impresionable ones in the Jedi order. While the council at Coruscant discussed how to approach the situation... an irresponsible Jedi Knight, Revan, took it upon himself to rally other Jedi to join him and the Republic in their crusade against the Mandalorians. Many flocked to Revan's side against the wishes of the council. And she was no exception.
Exile quote: "If you'd rather stay here like a coward, then go ahead! But don't tell me what I can or can't do!"
Her words wrenched in my heart, was enough to plant doubt within me... but I came to my senses, and wept. I hoped upon hope that she wasn't beyond redemption.
But when she returned two years later, she had become a completely different person. Gone was the gentle, agreeable Padawan I had took upon myself to care for when others would not. In her place was a ruffian, a vengeful beast that was ever defiant in facing the punishment meted out by the council.
And she had the gall to cast an accusing look at me, as if she was the one betrayed.
From that moment on, I ceased to care about her... I won't let her hurt me ever again. My heart is forever closed to her... My dearest Exile.
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Coin operated boy.
He may not be real experienced with girls,
but i know he feels like a boy should feel.
Isn't that the point?
That is why i want a -
Coin operated boy~
|Darth Ensis|
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