THE CAT

Fallen Angel

give me this and u will rule ^

Funny Quotes
I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy every minute of it!You're jealous 'cause the voices in my head talk to me and not you.
I am worse than evil... I am the author!
The evening news always starts off by saying Good Evening and then proceed to tell you exactly why it isn't.
He who laughs last thinks the slowest.
There are 3 kinds of people, those who make it happen, those who watch it happen and those who don't know what the hell is happening.
When life gives you lemons make grape juice and let the world wonder how you did it
I AM NOT CRAZY! My reality is just different than yours.
"It's probably not a good idea to be chewing on a toothpick if you're talking to the president, because what if he tells a funny joke and you laugh so hard you spit the toothpick out and it hits him in the face or something."
-I go online sometimes, but everybody's spelling is really bad and it depresses me.
-Angry people need hugs. Or sharp objects.
-People tell me I don't listen...or something like that.
-Calling you an idiot would be an insult to the stupid people.
-My life is based on a true story
-If Tylenol, duct tape, or a band-aid can't fix it, you've got a serious problem.
-Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them more.
"Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things."
My friends and I are the type of people who run into parked cars.
- Some call it stalking. I call it love.
- Moo. I'm a pig.
- Oh yeah? Your face.
- Actually no, I will not STFU
Follow your dream! Unless it's the one where you're at work in your underwear during a fire drill
When French people swear do they say pardon my English?

If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"?
In that song, she'll be coming around the mountain, who is she?

What happens if you put this side up face down while popping microwave popcorn?

Why aren't safety pins as safe as they say they are?

Why do people say, "You can't have your cake and eat it too"? Why would someone get cake if they can't eat it?

Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are both the same number of letters?

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, then who is the fool who said, "Quit while you're ahead?"

Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why call it a building if it's already been built?

Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.

Rock and roll is the hamburger that ate the world - Peter York

-THEY laugh because they think were retarded, WE laugh because they just now figured it out!

-Before you critisize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you critisize them, you are a mile away from them, and you have their shoes!

There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Just hope it's not a train.

I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades...or a game of fake heart attack.

When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here?

Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

Afterism (n) - A concise, clever statement you don't think of until too late.

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

Humor is just another defense against the universe.

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.

1. There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or an opera diva.”

"Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

"Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to."
I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back.
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
intend to live forever -- so far, so good
Smile, and the world will smile with you. Laugh and they'll all think your on drugs.

I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To.

normal people worry me
you say psycho like it's a bad thing
those who think they know everything, annoy those of us that do

"Dying is just natures way of saying 'Hey! Your not alive anymore!'"

Thank-you for visiting reality, come again........... Now entering your life, welcome

The entire world's a stage; I didn't get cast!
Consciousness- that annoying time between naps

Suburbia - where they cut down trees and name streets after them


Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons!
Maybe this world is another planet's hell

A friend is someone who is there for you when he'd rather be somewhere else

Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.
Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.
Two wrongs are only the beginning.
If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which a procedure can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop.
Nothing is as easy as it looks.
Every solution breeds new problems..
If there is a worse time for something to go wrong, it will happen then..
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.

When people say, "I’m so tired it's not even funny" or "my head hurts so much it's not even funny", why would it even be funny in the first place?
Do stairs go up or down?
Why is there a top line on lined paper if we never use it?
Do coffins have lifetime guarantees?
Why do the numbers on phones go down while the numbers on calculators go up?
If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the limit?
Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?
Can you make a candle out of your earwax?

Why do companies offer you "free gifts?" Since when has a gift NOT been
free?
If something "goes without saying," why do people still say it?
You know the expression, "Don't quit your day job?" Well what do you say to
people that work nights?
Why do you get in trouble for blocking an exit when you're standing in the doorway? In case of an emergency, wouldn't you run out, too, therefore NOT blocking the exit?
Why is it when some products you have to turn it upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn upside down?


Judge me all you want, but keep the verdict to yourself.

Happiness is felt by making other people happy.

Behind every damsel is a fire breathing dragon

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you


"Most people learn by observation, and there are the few who learn by experimentation. And then there are those who actually TOUCH the fire to see if it's really hot." -Anonymous

You laugh at me because I'm strange I laugh at you because your stupid!


GEEKS UNITE TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!

"There are people I would take a bullet for and people I would like to put a bullet in

A woman has to work twice as hard as a man to be thought of as half as good. Luckily this is not difficult"

I can resist anything but temptation


"I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by."