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Varsam Grey

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Last Login: 01/12/2023 4:42 am

Registered: 10/31/2008

Gender: Male

Birthday: 06/28

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About

Had this dream last night. It was full of laughter and hope, it seemed so close but far away at the same time. I woke to have reality splash a cold bucket of water in my face lol. Oh well... everything in its time. One day it won’t be a dream and a smile like that’ll warm my heart for real. Let’s talk about this bucket of disappointment water though.... It’s heavy, it’s been weighing me down for years. I’ve had dreams like this, for years, where I’m able to see the picture but never grasp it. It’s filled me with depression, hopelessness, and malice. These elements combined into nauseating suggestion: Self Destruction. How bout that huh? A permanent solution to a temporary problem. To be honest I really considered it. Figured I’d shove a barrel in my mouth and pull the trigger. But what would I be doing to my loved ones? My friends? The people who still cared? What if I really did it and my hell was to watch them mourn over and over and over again for eternity. But I’m not going to do that....

It’s time for a change

I’m sick of feeling low. Burying the past only to drop to my knees when the rain brings it back to the surface. I’m sick of not being happy, hiding grief behind a fake smile. No more running, no more hiding, no more burying old memories because they hurt to look at. I’m going out everything up in a safe place where it belongs. I’m going to accept my mistakes, all of them, and move on.

Long story short I’ve been struggling with thoughts of suicide for five years but that shits ******** exhausting so I quit.

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jeno135 Report | 06/28/2021 3:05 pm: Happy Birthday heart
jeno135 Report | 06/15/2021 9:59 am: hi friendo biggrin
Sambray Report | 08/25/2016 9:03 am: Hi Varsam Grey!
What's up?
OwO
Element_princess03 Report | 03/31/2016 1:08 pm: thanks for buying smile
~Anetta Watanabe~ Report | 02/29/2016 10:36 pm: I've been good. My job keeps me so busy but I've managed to play some games too to stay sane XD I randomly visit this site now a days and I thought I'd check how you've been doing :3
~Anetta Watanabe~ Report | 01/25/2016 5:41 pm: Haven't been much around in a while but I thought I'll check how you're doing!! It's been a while and I hope you're doing well :3
Sambray Report | 09/28/2015 8:47 am: well, I tried out for a beach football, but the sport supervisor either ignored my recruitment or
just couldn't be bothered.

there's 1 place where the 'fun' is at, but
I need like a ticket or something
to participate or go at that place.

wbu?
what's ur fun
Sambray Report | 09/26/2015 11:20 pm: how the internet is affecting our brains.
pretty much.

varsamm, i want something fun to do
Sambray Report | 09/26/2015 10:51 pm: hey grey!
how have you been?
haven't heard from you in awhile.
I was reading this book called the ''shallows of the interent''
some parts of it was long and boring but
some of it had caught my attention....
Asa Bih Report | 10/29/2014 10:29 pm: I wont .. I Promise