mi best guy friend

mi silliest friend

mi animal friend

mi cool friend

SOMETIMES... I WISH I HAD A d**k TO SHOVE IN b***h'S MOUTHS TO MAKE THEM SHUT THE ******** UP ;)

hi, I'M the girl YOUR boyfriend thinks about when he ******** YOU.

WHEN MEN STOP BEING ASSHOLES,I'LL STOP BEING A b***h

WHY DONT YOU SLIP INTO SOMETHING MORE COMFORTABLE.... LIKE A COMA!!!

Guy: "Can we have sex right now? Girl: "Can we do what?" Guy: "You know, can I be your first, finally?" Girl: "Um...no." Guy: "Why?" Girl: "Because, 1. you have a girlfriend, who happens to be my friend..." Guy: "So, if you don't tell, I won't tell." Girl: "Besides that, I'm waiting for someone special. Someone that I want to be with for the rest of my life to be my first." Guy: "I'm not special to you?" Girl: "You're my friend. That's all." Guy: looks forward and keeps driving. 5 minutes pass... Guy: starts to run his hand up the girl's thigh. Girl: moves his hand, "Don't touch me.". Guy: tries to kiss her. Girl: screams, "Would you stop." Guy: continues trying. Girl: moves to the back seat Guy: parks on an abandoned street and gets in the backseat with the girl. Starts to kiss her. Girl: pushes him off and scoots over, "Please, don't do this." Guy: "Don't do what, I know you want it, I can see it in your eyes." Moves over to her and starts to unbutton her pants. Girl: pushes him harder and says, "No, don't." Guy: getting aggravated, punches her and tells her to stop "playing hard to get". Girl: crying, continues to fight. Guy: punches her harder, pulls her pants off, and holds her down. Girl: screams as he penetrates her, "NO, please don't do this to me !"Guy: puts his hand over her mouth. An hour passes... Guy: pulls back and wipes himself off. Girl: sits on the corner of the seat, crying. Guy: looks at her and says, "You better not tell anybody about this. If you're really my friend, you won't tell anybody about this. You know I love you." He reaches out his hand to touch her cheek. Girl: pulls back, "Just take me home, now." Guy: says, "Alright." Gets in the front seat and drives her home. 2 months later... Girl: "Doctor, what's wrong with me. I haven't had my time of the month in 2 months." Doctor: looks at her, "You haven't been having your "time" for a reason." Girl: looks at him and says, "Why?" dreading the answer that she was sure to receive. Doctor: "You are pregnant." Girl: faints. The story gets out that she is pregnant, and people start looking to the Guy. He claims that it isn't his because she was sleeping with every guy in the school(which was a lie). He goes to her and tells her, "I'm telling you, if you lie to people and say that I raped you, I'll kill you." The Girl is completely devastated. First, he took her virginity and got her pregnant...then he lied about it. So completely depressed...the girl commits suicide by drug overdose... Girls, if this story touched you, put this on your profile under "No means no" Guys, if this story pisses you off, put this on your profile under "I'll kill any ******** who does this to any girl"

read this story >>>>>>

•There was 3 moms... 1 was brunette, 1 was a redhead and the other was a blonde. The redhead mom walks into her daughters room and finds a cigarette. She says "I didn't know my daughter smoked." The brunette walks into her daughters room and found a beer can. She say "I didn't know my daughter drank." The blonde walks into her daughters room and finds a condom. She says "I didn't know my daughter had a d**k"

•A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle and I can't figure out how to get it started. Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger. "Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger." He held her hand softly, led her to a chair and said, "Secondly, I'd advise you to relax. Let's have a cup of coffee, and then. ... "He sighed, "let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."

read these blonde jokes>>>>>

this way >>>>>>>>>>>>>

come on a little more >>>>>>>>>>

follow the arrows >>>>>>

•A blonde goes to the movies, her boyfriend asks if she wants any thing to eat, she says yes M&Ms. So he goes to get her some M&Ms. He comes back with the M&Ms and gives them to her, she opens up the bag and pulls out all the brown ones and gives it to her boyfriend. Her boyfriend asked why she gave him all the brown ones, and she said "Oh I'm allergic to chocolate."

read the jokes down below v v v v

keep going v v v v

a little more v v v v

•Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what the hell happen to you?

read the jokes :) >>>>

•People like you are the reason I'm on medication

•When life gives you skittles... throw them at random people and yell TASTE THE FREAKING RAINBOW!!!!!

•If you're gonna act like a d**k you should wear a condom on your head so you can at least look like one !!!

•Once there was a blonde a red head and a bernette who got stuck on a desserted island 10 miles away from land. One day the burmette said, "I can't take this anymore" and swam three miles then drowned. Then the red head said, "I can't take this anymore either" swam 5 miles then drowned. Then the blonde said "ummm ya me neither" swam 9 miles got tired and swam back.

•A blonde, brunette,and a redhead are hiding on a farm from the police. The brunette hides in the chicken pen, and when the cop goes by, she says "cluck cluck" with the chickens, and he goes by not noticing. The redhead hides in the pig pen, and when the cop goes by, she says "oink oink" and the cop doesn't notice. Now the dumb blonde goes and hides in a potatoe sack, and when the cop walks by, she says "potato potato!" and she's busted!

•I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse!

•A pretty girl can kiss a guy* a bird can kiss a butterfly* the rising sun can kiss the grass* but you my friend!! yes you!! YOU CAN KISS MY a***

•What's that ugly thing growing out of your neck... Oh... It's your head...

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind? Boy: No Girl: Do you like me? Boy: No Girl: Do you want me? Boy: No Girl: Would you cry if I left? Boy: No Girl: Would you live for me? Boy: No Girl: Would you do anything for me? Boy: No Girl: Choose--me or your life Boy: My life The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says... The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind. The reason why I don't like you is because I love you. The reason I don't want you is because I need you. The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left. The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you. The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you. The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

read this it is soo sweet >>>

95% of teens would go into a panic if Edward Cullens was on a 200 story building about jump to kill himself. Copy and paste this if you are one of the 5% who brought popcorn, a chair, and shouted "DO A FLIP!"

LIFE IS A b***h THEN YOU DIE.....ANY QUESTIONS?

IMMATURE is a word used by people who dont know how to have FUN

******** the princess Im the Queen

Me and my friends are the type who get run over by parked cars!

Oh my god!!!! the rain is wet!!

Its funny how girls look you up and down and have nothing to say but when you walk away the words come out

(there is a stickman swimming on.... well you'll see) Man: Dude what are you doing?! Stickman: Im swimming on the floor now LEAVE ME ALONE!

I SAW MOMMY ******** SANTA CLAUSE UNDERNEATH THE MISTLETOE LAST NIGHT AT FIRST I THOUGHT THEY WERE 2 GIRLS BUT THEN I SAW HIS PENCIL d**k XD

She was my numba 1 bestie but now its like i dont even know her *Single Tear*