FAV. Quotes

If a story isn't worth reading twice, it's not the best story you can find.(Me)

I like poetry, long walks on the beach, and poking dead things with a stick. (Sticker)

If there is life on other planets, they must be using Earth as their insane asylum. (Unknown)

And on the eighth day, God created fangirls... shortly thereafter, he said unto Adam...My bad. (Unknown.y stories)

A boy is a pain in the neck when he's around, and a pain in the heart when he's not. (Unknown)

Anyone who still thinks that the sky is the limit has no imagination. (Franklin P Jones)

All this talk of age is foolish... Because every time I'm a year older, everyone else is too. (Gloria Swanson)

What women do must be done twice as good as men in order to be half appreciated. (Charlotte Witton)

A great man is he who does not lose his inner child's heart. (Mencius)

Remember professionals built the titanic, armatures built the ark. (Unknown)

I tried sniffing coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose. (Anonymous)

Sometimes we build walls, not to block out people, but to see who cares enough to knock them down. (Anonymous)

Don't deprive someone of their hope, it may be all they have left. (Anonymous)

I love to sleep...My life has a tendency to fall apart when I'm awake. (Anonymous)

It's true that hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance? (Ronald Reagan)

To insult someone we call him"bestial." For deliberate cruelty and nature, "human" might be the greater insult.(Isaac Asimov)

If I could get a grip on reality...I would choke it. (Unknown)

Don't you wish there was a knob on your TV to turn up the intelligence? There's one marked brightness but it doesn't work. (Unknown)

That which does not kill me had better run pretty damn fast. (Unknown)

Few women admit their age...Fewer men act theirs. (Unknown)

Growing old is inevitable. Growing up is optional. (Unknown)

I had a handle on life but it broke. (Unknown)

My fortune cookie didn't predict this!! (Unknown)

What is this "work" you speak of? (Unknown)

Whoever said women are the weaker sex never witnessed childbirth. (Anonymous)

1 corona, 2 corona, 3 corona, 4. 5 corona, 6 corona, 7 corona, FLOOR! (elegentmess)

Controversial Issues(It is all really sarcastic)

1. Being gay is not natural. And as you know Americans have always rejected unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because, as you know, a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract. (You know, actually... There was/is a woman who married a dolphin. No Joke)

4. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5.Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed. The sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, menopausal women, women who have a medical condition which makes it harmful to be pregnant, women who have had a tubal ligation, men who have had a vasectomy, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.