snaccability
- All content found hereinafter, is property of the authors Kathila Redgar
and pencilsecks/Knives Called LUST. Respect this.
all rights reserved 2012
and pencilsecks/Knives Called LUST. Respect this.
all rights reserved 2012
snaccability
❝ Mind spinning in [c i r c l e s], you're waiting to [s p e a k...]
These [h a n d s] here in front of me anxiously wait to [s e e] ...❞
These [h a n d s] here in front of me anxiously wait to [s e e] ...❞
Destruction, death, and mud.
The calm, brilliant blue water was what had caused this,
the water that looked so innocent now,
even as families wandered back to what was left.
Traces of what the water had been,
lay only in puddles of stagnant, salty water
miles from shore.
The neighbor's white picket fence,
save for a few dingy posts was gone.
Our privacy fence managed to outlast the wind
and water.
Just barely.
The pool, was still standing.
Our house, was still standing.
Everywhere else, houses had been razed to the ground.
I was thankful for that, for my childhood home,
but not for what had become of the inside of it.
The stench of rotting, decaying fish
gagged me, reminded me,
not everyone had made it safely away.
A high keening also reminded me.
It echoed inside the hollow hallway,
which had been washed of our memories
and filled with cool, slippery sludge.
I trailed my finger along the water stain,
that nearly reached my shoulder,
remembered the fervor of panic that gripped
me and my friends, the moments the sirens went off.
The city was to be evacuated,
and when some were allowed back,
it was only to salvage broken valuables,
to move away.
The government had insisted we sanitize and deep clean
our house, before it could be considered livable.
I was on day two of living in an unlivable house.
Cleaning, trying to salvage what the hurricane hadn't damaged.
Mom was gone.
Steve had taken her elsewhere,
because the woman couldn't take getting her precious shoes muddy.
"Tessa, oh dear Tess.
Make mommy's house like new for her, dear.
Please, Tessie?"
Crooned her mother,
I had managed a smile and a curt nod of my head.
Rolling my eyes the instant she looked away.
I didn't know why I stayed with her,
I was old enough to own my own apartment.
Something just held me back.
Maybe it was my friends.
Maybe it was my deeply buried love for my mother.
Or maybe it was because it's was what my father asked of me.
"Tessa, I know your mother was--
never very nice to you. But you are all she has now.
Don't leave her, especially while I'm gone.
At least wait until I'm back."
My father's ship, was found dashed upon some rocks a year ago.
Even to this day,
no one knew what had happened.
I flung a rag at the wall,
at the memory
and picked my way outside.
Even all my friends had to move away.
Temporarily, so they said.
Until they could find a new place to stay.
I knew what was happening--
they would leave.
Just
like
I
Wish
I
Could.
Through the dead fish and random artifacts,
to sit on the somewhat clean pool deck.
The murky depths did nothing to help my mood,
how the bits of debris,
at such odd angles,
ended up inside of the pool,
completely flummoxed me.
I stuck my hand in the cold water,
and fished around.
Pulling bits of house, plastic, and fish
at intervals, and tossing it over the side.
Mom would be home in four days.
I wondered what she would think if I wasn't there,
when she returned.
The calm, brilliant blue water was what had caused this,
the water that looked so innocent now,
even as families wandered back to what was left.
Traces of what the water had been,
lay only in puddles of stagnant, salty water
miles from shore.
The neighbor's white picket fence,
save for a few dingy posts was gone.
Our privacy fence managed to outlast the wind
and water.
Just barely.
The pool, was still standing.
Our house, was still standing.
Everywhere else, houses had been razed to the ground.
I was thankful for that, for my childhood home,
but not for what had become of the inside of it.
The stench of rotting, decaying fish
gagged me, reminded me,
not everyone had made it safely away.
A high keening also reminded me.
It echoed inside the hollow hallway,
which had been washed of our memories
and filled with cool, slippery sludge.
I trailed my finger along the water stain,
that nearly reached my shoulder,
remembered the fervor of panic that gripped
me and my friends, the moments the sirens went off.
The city was to be evacuated,
and when some were allowed back,
it was only to salvage broken valuables,
to move away.
The government had insisted we sanitize and deep clean
our house, before it could be considered livable.
I was on day two of living in an unlivable house.
Cleaning, trying to salvage what the hurricane hadn't damaged.
Mom was gone.
Steve had taken her elsewhere,
because the woman couldn't take getting her precious shoes muddy.
"Tessa, oh dear Tess.
Make mommy's house like new for her, dear.
Please, Tessie?"
Crooned her mother,
I had managed a smile and a curt nod of my head.
Rolling my eyes the instant she looked away.
I didn't know why I stayed with her,
I was old enough to own my own apartment.
Something just held me back.
Maybe it was my friends.
Maybe it was my deeply buried love for my mother.
Or maybe it was because it's was what my father asked of me.
"Tessa, I know your mother was--
never very nice to you. But you are all she has now.
Don't leave her, especially while I'm gone.
At least wait until I'm back."
My father's ship, was found dashed upon some rocks a year ago.
Even to this day,
no one knew what had happened.
I flung a rag at the wall,
at the memory
and picked my way outside.
Even all my friends had to move away.
Temporarily, so they said.
Until they could find a new place to stay.
I knew what was happening--
they would leave.
Just
like
I
Wish
I
Could.
Through the dead fish and random artifacts,
to sit on the somewhat clean pool deck.
The murky depths did nothing to help my mood,
how the bits of debris,
at such odd angles,
ended up inside of the pool,
completely flummoxed me.
I stuck my hand in the cold water,
and fished around.
Pulling bits of house, plastic, and fish
at intervals, and tossing it over the side.
Mom would be home in four days.
I wondered what she would think if I wasn't there,
when she returned.
Cleaver Greene
Aged Informer
- "I won't be gone long,"
were the last words I had said.
- Flippant; ignorant.
- "I won't be gone long."
The peaceful bay had been adequate shelter.
For all the times I had stayed there,
hidden from already unseeing eyes.
Time and time again, the water had been enough.
I never thought it would be that that would betray me.
The darkened skies,
- The spitting rain,
- The lifeless streets,
- I'd seen it before.
The blue, green - aquamarine
had swirled to darker greys.
The lashing wind was a sign to leave
But I had stubbornly stayed.
Courage: the folly of an inquisitive idiot.
But how should I have known it would end like this?
Higher waves and stronger tides,
Pushed the waters through to forbidden paths
That man had built or sown.
It was a chance to get so close.
- After all,
The water is dark now; there is filth and soot and soil.
While the current was strong, the wind was wicked,
And knocked down houses, and boats and more.
What once had been a path was twisted and blocked
And there was more than my hands alone could repair.
I heard not too long ago.
What will they do,
With this trap of a sea?
Was this what they tried to catch?
Would they really try to catch me?
I have been hiding here now for days, I fear.
How I will get home, I can not say.
Man spoke of |four walls| and they have given me my own.
Underneath the garbage I cannot even swim.
It jostles and rumbles,
Plays amongst itself with the joy of a new affair.
Meanwhile, I struggle and fight with myself and that thing;
The beam. Torn. rusted. Scratching. Scarring.
- She has come to visit - the miserable human girl.
I have seen her.
- Seen her now and several times before.
Where sight is just a memory and breath a pleasant dream.
I can not stay there long -
A few breaths and I'll choke.
- Breathe.
- - perverse.
- Or else...
- Breathe -- Try not to gag.
To entrust her with this secret that
All of us are already entrusted to keep,
Could lead to a much crueler fate.
But the filth is sickening. To breathe again...
Perhaps she will be gone.
Pushing through the debris,
- - Another scratch from that damned metal totem
And light-kissed, I gasp for cleaner air.
It is a rude but not unexpected shock
To find the girl still sitting in her chair.
She's seen me now, with the noise I've made,
so what is there to say but maybe:
tab tab tab tab tab tab tab "Hello?"
snaccability
❝ Mind spinning in [c i r c l e s], you're waiting to [s p e a k...]
These [h a n d s] here in front of me anxiously wait to [s e e] ...❞
These [h a n d s] here in front of me anxiously wait to [s e e] ...❞
It's been said that,
before you die
before you pass on,
into whatever lies beyond this world
your life flashes before your eyes.
Everything that has been done,
the choices and mistakes you've made,
all the missed chances.
When I heard something moving around
inside the pool,
against the bottom
metal scraping against metal
my life did not flash before my eyes.
All I could think was,
There is a goddamn SEA MONSTER in my pool.
It is going to eat me.
I'm going to die.
And my bones,
will be regurgitated,
for my mom to find.
What a great way to die.
"In the name of Science!"
Everyone would know, then,
that the Loch Ness monster had to be real.
Because it had digested me for dinner.
I could see the r i p p l e s
of water
before the monster emerged.
My heart stuttered,
panic flooded through me
jerking my limbs
but my curiosity held me there.
Fixated.
Entranced.
Riveted.
Sludge, mud, seaweed, and a pulpy
mixture of water and debris gave way to the monster.
I swear I did not even blink.
It was brown-skinned,
its hair like tendrils of limp seaweed.
My nails dug into the chair,
holding me there just in case my curiosity gave way.
The monster's eyes glowed,
burned with hatred.
Intense in its passion...
It was going to eat me.
And I sat there like a lame duck.
Ready for the taking.
Instead of screaming...
I blinked my eyes,
and my vision cleared.
I saw what was really there.
Some idiot prankster,
trying to scare the hell out of me,
probably paid by my mom's boyfriend.
"Hah. Hah.
Wow. Hah.
You guys are so damn funny.
Hah.
Don't look at me,
you idiot.
If you thought to scare me,
you didn't do s**t.
You all can come out now.
Bet that was funny.
Not."
A breath of air whooshed out of my mouth,
the pent-up tension and adrenaline
soaking out of my body,
leeching away
and leaving exhaustion in its place.
I hated being the brunt of jokes.
This was beyond cruel,
I was definitely moving away now.
"Get the hell out of my pool.
Go on, get.
I've got stuff to do.
I need to clean,
and you've gone and wasted time,
trying to scare me.
It didn't work, you idiot.
Go on, now.
Leave me the hell alone."
I glared at the man,
covered in mud
my imagination
sadly disappointed.
No Loch Ness monster-esque death for me.
I could only imagine the laugh they were having right now.
before you die
before you pass on,
into whatever lies beyond this world
your life flashes before your eyes.
Everything that has been done,
the choices and mistakes you've made,
all the missed chances.
When I heard something moving around
inside the pool,
against the bottom
metal scraping against metal
my life did not flash before my eyes.
All I could think was,
There is a goddamn SEA MONSTER in my pool.
It is going to eat me.
I'm going to die.
And my bones,
will be regurgitated,
for my mom to find.
What a great way to die.
"In the name of Science!"
Everyone would know, then,
that the Loch Ness monster had to be real.
Because it had digested me for dinner.
I could see the r i p p l e s
of water
before the monster emerged.
My heart stuttered,
panic flooded through me
jerking my limbs
but my curiosity held me there.
Fixated.
Entranced.
Riveted.
Sludge, mud, seaweed, and a pulpy
mixture of water and debris gave way to the monster.
I swear I did not even blink.
It was brown-skinned,
its hair like tendrils of limp seaweed.
My nails dug into the chair,
holding me there just in case my curiosity gave way.
The monster's eyes glowed,
burned with hatred.
Intense in its passion...
It was going to eat me.
And I sat there like a lame duck.
Ready for the taking.
Instead of screaming...
I blinked my eyes,
and my vision cleared.
I saw what was really there.
Some idiot prankster,
trying to scare the hell out of me,
probably paid by my mom's boyfriend.
"Hah. Hah.
Wow. Hah.
You guys are so damn funny.
Hah.
Don't look at me,
you idiot.
If you thought to scare me,
you didn't do s**t.
You all can come out now.
Bet that was funny.
Not."
A breath of air whooshed out of my mouth,
the pent-up tension and adrenaline
soaking out of my body,
leeching away
and leaving exhaustion in its place.
I hated being the brunt of jokes.
This was beyond cruel,
I was definitely moving away now.
"Get the hell out of my pool.
Go on, get.
I've got stuff to do.
I need to clean,
and you've gone and wasted time,
trying to scare me.
It didn't work, you idiot.
Go on, now.
Leave me the hell alone."
I glared at the man,
covered in mud
my imagination
sadly disappointed.
No Loch Ness monster-esque death for me.
I could only imagine the laugh they were having right now.
Cleaver Greene
Aged Informer
- The girl who had seemed so soft and meek,
Had turned out bitter and loud.
I watched her bark and glare
- And wondered how it was fair,
That I had to listen to her biting words
And still remain stuck in the pool?
Once she was done
- - for there were many times I had thought she would end
on the end of her glare.
What could I say to her
That would make her believe
That if she just helped me,
I could be out of her hair?
So far she had not seen beneath the water
What was holding me trapped there.
The wild accusations of some haughty joke,
Would perish if they just peered into the depths.
She would have to see it, eventually.
If I could convince her now to keep it a secret,
Maybe freedom was a choice in play.
"I'm sorry," I said, as though I was in the wrong,
And tried to give her a smile so she kept her calm.
"I never meant to offend,
Or to scare.
It's just, you see,
I'm a wee bit stuck.
If you'd just help me out,
I'd happily put this horrid affair
Behind the both of us,
And forget I was here."
Did it sound genuine?
It was hard to tell.
This was not merfolk,
That may react to a smile.
Her eyes were hard and her posture aggressive.
Would a few words and a pleasant expression,
Be enough to convince her
To help set me free?
snaccability
❝ Mind spinning in [c i r c l e s], you're waiting to [s p e a k...]
These [h a n d s] here in front of me anxiously wait to [s e e] ...❞
These [h a n d s] here in front of me anxiously wait to [s e e] ...❞
I could feel my eyebrows
pulling together,
knitting, musclesandskinbunching together.
What the man said,
didn't make sense to my mind.
Was it shock?
Or was this part of the ploy,
that had been thought of?
The debris and mud,
settling near the bottom
couldn't be that sticky.
"Stuck?"
It was definitely hard,
to keep the incredulity from my voice.
I could hear it shine through
even in one word.
"How can you be stuck?
You can't have been there that long.
It isn't like it's quicksand,
or like you can breathe underwater.
Well, here."
I moved,
talking continuously
and leaving my phone on a particularly dry spot.
Just in case.
I stuck my hand out,
hovering in the empty space between us.
My mind, only then,
noticed the fact that he seemed to be shirtless.
And, from what I could decipher through the thick lines of mud,
in any other situation would be appealing.
It only disgusted me,
at that point, to even have to touch such a creature
to even help someone who tried to scare me
and then feigned helplessness.
I wiggled my fingers,
and continued glaring.
pulling together,
knitting, musclesandskinbunching together.
What the man said,
didn't make sense to my mind.
Was it shock?
Or was this part of the ploy,
that had been thought of?
The debris and mud,
settling near the bottom
couldn't be that sticky.
"Stuck?"
It was definitely hard,
to keep the incredulity from my voice.
I could hear it shine through
even in one word.
"How can you be stuck?
You can't have been there that long.
It isn't like it's quicksand,
or like you can breathe underwater.
Well, here."
I moved,
talking continuously
and leaving my phone on a particularly dry spot.
Just in case.
I stuck my hand out,
hovering in the empty space between us.
My mind, only then,
noticed the fact that he seemed to be shirtless.
And, from what I could decipher through the thick lines of mud,
in any other situation would be appealing.
It only disgusted me,
at that point, to even have to touch such a creature
to even help someone who tried to scare me
and then feigned helplessness.
I wiggled my fingers,
and continued glaring.
Cleaver Greene
Aged Informer
- She was suspicious, as I had feared.
Her face left no doubt, but her voice was the same.
The hostile voice had lost its sharp edge,
But now she thought me a liar,
instead of a wasteful nuisance.
'Of course I can't breathe underwater here,'
I thought to say to her.
- 'There is hardly water to breathe at all.'
She would not take it well,
I fear.
tab Too harsh.
Her hand came forward,
Long, slender fingers trying to help.
Dirt and grit spoiled
What was otherwise perfect skin.
I had never seen one up close;
Human, hand or skin.
They were more alike up close
Than I had ever believed.
Before, I had seen her move
So gracefully on two legs,
As any fish in the sea.
Despite her frown,
tab or perhaps because of it.
I stared at her waving hand.
Just as graceful as everything else.
This was an offer to help,
But now I had to tell her,
That she had gotten it wrong.
"I wish it were so easy.
Even without your hand, I can crawl onto the shore;
It is not too steep that anyone would have to ask.
What I need..."
What could I say?
The first words between merman
And man in so many years.
How could I explain what
They had never seen?
If she would just again be
The soft, gentle girl,
It wouldn't be as hard to say:
"I need you to help me get back to the sea."
Desperate, lost:
It had to show.
Behind my eyes,
That was all.
snaccability
❝ Mind spinning in [c i r c l e s], you're waiting to [s p e a k...]
These [h a n d s] here in front of me anxiously wait to [s e e] ...❞
These [h a n d s] here in front of me anxiously wait to [s e e] ...❞
Rejection hurt.
Whether it was a high five feint,
a definitive "no" for a date
or having your helping hand left handing.
I looked down,
broke my unwavering
line of apprehension and anger,
looked at my hand
and slowly dropped
it as well.
His words had not made sense to me.
Crawl? Shore? Steep?
He looked perfectly capable of walking,
like most humans.
My eyes stayed down,
I chewed the inside of my cheek,
trying to comprehend.
With a shrug,
I climbed off the pool deck,
quickly trekking through
dank,
slimy,
brown mud
to my house.
I grabbed a can of pop,
thought about it,
grabbed another
and headed out back.
Plopped in my chair
and clunked the other
popcan down,
near the edge of the water.
An offering.
"You're going to have
to speak
in layman's terms.
Or something
to that effect.
I know not what you speak of.
Nor can I even fathom
what you're trying to say."
I sipped,
the cool metal against my skin,
the fizz bubbling and burning
its way down my throat.
At that point,
I could have gone for a nap.
No one would have known.
Well, now they would.
"So, if you're not a sea monster
or here pranking me,
or spying for my mom...
does that make you a creepy stalker?
Rising out of the depths of my pool,
like that, you know...
You could be classified as that.
I should call the cops.
And here I am,
offering you pop.
The cops aren't doing too well,
since the storm.
Do you really have nothing better to do?
Shouldn't you be
trying to fix your home
or moving away,
like everyone else is?"
I carried on,
because I was lost.
And if I seemed like
I was inquisitive,
rather than dumfounded,
maybe it would play to my strengths.
Though, what those were,
were as mysterious as the stranger
standing in my murky, disgusting pool.
I realized I had stopped
making eye contact
so I looked up,
into eyes that reminded me of the sea.
Whether it was a high five feint,
a definitive "no" for a date
or having your helping hand left handing.
I looked down,
broke my unwavering
line of apprehension and anger,
looked at my hand
and slowly dropped
it as well.
His words had not made sense to me.
Crawl? Shore? Steep?
He looked perfectly capable of walking,
like most humans.
My eyes stayed down,
I chewed the inside of my cheek,
trying to comprehend.
With a shrug,
I climbed off the pool deck,
quickly trekking through
dank,
slimy,
brown mud
to my house.
I grabbed a can of pop,
thought about it,
grabbed another
and headed out back.
Plopped in my chair
and clunked the other
popcan down,
near the edge of the water.
An offering.
"You're going to have
to speak
in layman's terms.
Or something
to that effect.
I know not what you speak of.
Nor can I even fathom
what you're trying to say."
I sipped,
the cool metal against my skin,
the fizz bubbling and burning
its way down my throat.
At that point,
I could have gone for a nap.
No one would have known.
Well, now they would.
"So, if you're not a sea monster
or here pranking me,
or spying for my mom...
does that make you a creepy stalker?
Rising out of the depths of my pool,
like that, you know...
You could be classified as that.
I should call the cops.
And here I am,
offering you pop.
The cops aren't doing too well,
since the storm.
Do you really have nothing better to do?
Shouldn't you be
trying to fix your home
or moving away,
like everyone else is?"
I carried on,
because I was lost.
And if I seemed like
I was inquisitive,
rather than dumfounded,
maybe it would play to my strengths.
Though, what those were,
were as mysterious as the stranger
standing in my murky, disgusting pool.
I realized I had stopped
making eye contact
so I looked up,
into eyes that reminded me of the sea.
Cleaver Greene
Aged Informer
- A shrug.
For all my efforts to not return her bark,
She had nothing to give me... but a shrug?
Words failed me as she started away,
Back into that house of horrors.
Ever step she took was a
Crushing, destructive blow.
I had not seen humans
To be so fickle and cruel.
There was nothing else I could say
To appeal to her human morals.
After I'd asked for her help,
It was like this she would leave me.
Into the broken, sullied house,
- I wanted to scream my frustrations.
Words she would never understand
Would chase after her as she walked away.
It would bring others running,
That much I was sure.
But she could then live,
Harbouring that guilt.
The tints of rage quickly disappeared,
When I saw her retreat was not that at all.
Shades of anger and fear were replaced
With a clear glass that showed only my
Unspeaking thoughts.
She placed down a can.
A token;
A gesture;
I did not understand.
We had plenty of those in the sea.
Even when I watched those fine hands,
To see what she did with her own,
I left the can to warm in the sun.
"Moving away is exactly what I want to do
There is nothing I would want more
Than to get away from here,
And to be able to go home."
This was a breakthrough.
Prepared to listen,
No scowls to look me over
With fascinated disgust.
Her cascade of words
Were an opening door.
My rising excitement
Was probably on show:
An excited grin.
"I said I was stuck,
To there you were still with me.
The other part
- - what you struggle to grasp
Is not just as simple,
As pulling me out
Up onto land."
This was a bad plan that I couldn't avoid.
It was all I could hope for, for her not scream.
An old wives tale, a fish tail.
That was all it should be.
But this was the only way
That would have her believe.
Hands on the pool's edge, grasping my fate,
I pulled clear of the clinging, putrid muck.
The air feels different to how it had been before
On my scarred, thinned and tarnished body.
This is the proof that I need
To know that it's desperate.
I'm cold, covered in rancid dirt,
And scared to know what she will say,
Now that she's seen the grey
tab tab tab tab tab tab unhuman
tab tab tab tab tab tab tab tab tail
snaccability
❝ Mind spinning in [c i r c l e s], you're waiting to [s p e a k...]
These [h a n d s] here in front of me anxiously wait to [s e e] ...❞
These [h a n d s] here in front of me anxiously wait to [s e e] ...❞
" That isn't what I meant,
moving away,
moving away from your home.
Not here,
because you really
shouldn't be here,
as it is.
This is my home."
This place
that held all my childhood
m e m o r i e s,
learning how to ride a bike,
learning to swim,
scraped knees,
bruised heart,
secrets
and laughter.
It was,
all I had ever known;
A childlike immaturity
and naïveté.
I suppose,
with a smile that pulled
on my heartstrings,
and made something
twinge in the deep recesses
of my heart,
something unknown and
infinitely mysterious to me,
it was this that stopped me
from screaming,
r u n n i n g,
loping his head off.
Instead,
I sat.
Dumfounded.
At a loss for words.
Speechless.
Confused.
Unable to really comprehend,
what I was seeing.
Was it some illusion?
Part of the prank?
Or--as some large part of me
wished--completely legitimate.
My mouth,
hung wide open
upon its hinges,
conferring the fact
that I had not known
that the existence
of him was actually real,
and not some Disney adaptation.
Or well,
the idea of him was real.
He certainly didn't have some
frilly fish tail,
though his lower body.
appendage was truly
magnificent to behold.
Mind-blowing, really.
I stared,
probably until the point of rudeness
And fell upon my knees
mouth still ajar,
and hand stretching
out in curiosity.
In retrospect,
around that time,
I had decided that the
cleaning chemicals
had caused my reaction.
For it was not a normal one,
but one of someone
who was...well...me.
Someone who is,
quite possibly,
deranged.
By not calling the police
at the very beginning,
by offering the pop,
and by not screaming and
vaulting myself away from
what some would honestly
call a creature.
I was condemned,
to be the one who
was reaching out
just to see if this
was real and not
some apparition.
There was no thought,
into what he would do with the fact
that my hand was about to touch him.
I was completely swept into the moment,
remembering the porcelain merman figurine
my father had brought home from
one of his travels.
It was beautiful,
surreal,
and then my hand lightly grazed
what had been hiding beneath
the murky, dirty water.
What he truly was,
why he was in my pool
and stuck.
"Wow."
moving away,
moving away from your home.
Not here,
because you really
shouldn't be here,
as it is.
This is my home."
This place
that held all my childhood
m e m o r i e s,
learning how to ride a bike,
learning to swim,
scraped knees,
bruised heart,
secrets
and laughter.
It was,
all I had ever known;
A childlike immaturity
and naïveté.
I suppose,
with a smile that pulled
on my heartstrings,
and made something
twinge in the deep recesses
of my heart,
something unknown and
infinitely mysterious to me,
it was this that stopped me
from screaming,
r u n n i n g,
loping his head off.
Instead,
I sat.
Dumfounded.
At a loss for words.
Speechless.
Confused.
Unable to really comprehend,
what I was seeing.
Was it some illusion?
Part of the prank?
Or--as some large part of me
wished--completely legitimate.
My mouth,
hung wide open
upon its hinges,
conferring the fact
that I had not known
that the existence
of him was actually real,
and not some Disney adaptation.
Or well,
the idea of him was real.
He certainly didn't have some
frilly fish tail,
though his lower body.
appendage was truly
magnificent to behold.
Mind-blowing, really.
I stared,
probably until the point of rudeness
And fell upon my knees
mouth still ajar,
and hand stretching
out in curiosity.
In retrospect,
around that time,
I had decided that the
cleaning chemicals
had caused my reaction.
For it was not a normal one,
but one of someone
who was...well...me.
Someone who is,
quite possibly,
deranged.
By not calling the police
at the very beginning,
by offering the pop,
and by not screaming and
vaulting myself away from
what some would honestly
call a creature.
I was condemned,
to be the one who
was reaching out
just to see if this
was real and not
some apparition.
There was no thought,
into what he would do with the fact
that my hand was about to touch him.
I was completely swept into the moment,
remembering the porcelain merman figurine
my father had brought home from
one of his travels.
It was beautiful,
surreal,
and then my hand lightly grazed
what had been hiding beneath
the murky, dirty water.
What he truly was,
why he was in my pool
and stuck.
"Wow."
Cleaver Greene
Aged Informer
- The confession sat on the end of my tongue.
It was clear she must know,
From the look on her face,
That I was not just trying to make her mind chase
A foolish idea of some human ploy.
Still, a confession she needed,
That was my truth.
All the words seemed jumbled;
Thoughts tumbled into dark pools
Where fragments were seen,
But could not make a whole.
It wasn't fair that this
- - This
A master of words,
Lost for just one:
Merfolk.
I'd brought her to her knees
This was worse than I feared.
The scream of terror
I had waited to hear,
Was absent from her lips.
Were we more dreaded
Than I thought?
Her crawling advance
Was another thing strange.
Nothing was making sense
In this surface world.
Scared or upset,
Angry of distraught:
All flowed through the girl,
In one rip of emotion.
There was no way I could see,
Where she changed from a
One to the other.
I half wanted to say sorry again.
She had that odd way,
Of making me feel like I
Was constantly to blame.
In some form I was,
That much had to admit.
Without my bubbling curiosity
We would never have met.
The distance between us
Had become awfully small.
Too close for comfort,
I would have to say.
What was she doing,
In her prolonged approach?
Instinct was telling me to swim.
Instinct was what could get me killed.
With one gentle brush,
That soft, warm hand,
Sent shivers up my spine,
And broke every code
That I had to hold.
Instinct won.
Like a jolt, the shiver sent me back
To the safety of my watery 'home'.
Beams of light penetrated the water's surface,
And she was silhouetted - haloed - in the glow.
My heart and mind fought,
Judging what to do.
Mind argued of the folly of misplaced trust;
Heart, the strength of a stranger's compassion.
Really, I knew,
cast in her shadow,
That there was one thing to do.
Peaking out of the water,
I settled with my faith
In the unconventional girl.
"Promise me you won't breathe a word
Of this sordid affair to even one soul;
Nor to even dream of telling
What you know.
But, now that we're clear,
Is there something you could do?"
snaccability
❝ Mind spinning in [c i r c l e s], you're waiting to [s p e a k...]
These [h a n d s] here in front of me anxiously wait to [s e e] ...❞
These [h a n d s] here in front of me anxiously wait to [s e e] ...❞
As cliche as it sounded,
watching him dive back under the water
was like poetry in motion.
It was such a graceful motion,
though the violent suddenness of
it cause me to fall onto my backside
as my heart gave a painful jerk,
and my brain began pumping the
adrenaline.
I took a breath.
Touching the merman,
seemed to have been a mistake.
For one moment, he was there,
a big rebuke to science.
With a flash of silvery-grey,
he was gone.
Elusive, amongst the murky
water and floating, broken debris.
A few seconds later,
his head emerged
from the water's surface,
reminding me of previous
thoughts, of how this must have
been a monster.
And if he was,
if he was a monster,
it was a very timid one.
Though,
I knew deep down
that he could cause me
great harm,
at least if I was within his element.
He had a strong, powerful tail.
And his arms strength
would no doubt
easily overcome my own.
I listened to him speak,
apprehensive now,
afraid of the things my
mind was cascading upon me.
Deep, within the recesses of my
hardly-analytical brain,
something told me this was
a great opportunity for science.
To learn about this foreign,
and "fantasy" creature.
Except,
I knew he wasn't a creature.
He obviously had needs,
feelings and a family.
He was desperate to get home,
alive and as unscathed as possible.
"About getting you home?
I'm not sure about that,
because my car was destroyed
during the hurricane.
My mom has a car,
but she isn't here..
And you wouldn't want her to be.
anyways.
Or,
do you mean you need something now?"
It was really perplexing,
to think about how,
I was now tasked with
returning him back home.
It was near impossible.
I couldn't carry him,
and once my mom and
her boyfriend were home,
things would get ten times
more complicated.
watching him dive back under the water
was like poetry in motion.
It was such a graceful motion,
though the violent suddenness of
it cause me to fall onto my backside
as my heart gave a painful jerk,
and my brain began pumping the
adrenaline.
I took a breath.
Touching the merman,
seemed to have been a mistake.
For one moment, he was there,
a big rebuke to science.
With a flash of silvery-grey,
he was gone.
Elusive, amongst the murky
water and floating, broken debris.
A few seconds later,
his head emerged
from the water's surface,
reminding me of previous
thoughts, of how this must have
been a monster.
And if he was,
if he was a monster,
it was a very timid one.
Though,
I knew deep down
that he could cause me
great harm,
at least if I was within his element.
He had a strong, powerful tail.
And his arms strength
would no doubt
easily overcome my own.
I listened to him speak,
apprehensive now,
afraid of the things my
mind was cascading upon me.
Deep, within the recesses of my
hardly-analytical brain,
something told me this was
a great opportunity for science.
To learn about this foreign,
and "fantasy" creature.
Except,
I knew he wasn't a creature.
He obviously had needs,
feelings and a family.
He was desperate to get home,
alive and as unscathed as possible.
"About getting you home?
I'm not sure about that,
because my car was destroyed
during the hurricane.
My mom has a car,
but she isn't here..
And you wouldn't want her to be.
anyways.
Or,
do you mean you need something now?"
It was really perplexing,
to think about how,
I was now tasked with
returning him back home.
It was near impossible.
I couldn't carry him,
and once my mom and
her boyfriend were home,
things would get ten times
more complicated.
Cleaver Greene
Aged Informer
[OOC: P.S. He hates you =D Isn't he an adorable widdle shark?]
- Was that all she had to offer?
A little more than nothing?
I had broken every rule
tab Bar one,
And she could not even give me
What I needed.
It was an effort not to snarl
At her nothing reply.
"You must have something more,
Except for the damned car.
I cannot stay in here.
The water strangles my every breath;
The waste strikes at me with every turn."
- I was starting to lose my cool
And my patience.
Desperation to convince her
Of my plight
Had resulted in nothing more,
Nothing less...
Than a lost chance.
A waste of time;
A waste of effort;
A waste of passion.
The glower she had shot at me earlier
Was mimicked in much harsher tones.
I was vexed by her very reply,
By my own inability to react.
This girl had tantalised me
Just with her presence,
Given me hope for freedom,
And then she had snatched it away.
Was that truly worthy of blame?
Putting so many expectations
On merely her being there?
A stronger man may have said yes.
But a stronger man was not
Staring death in the face.
Through no conscience thought,
I snapped.
More primitive a reaction
Than unkind words,
The pool thundered
At the slap of my tail.
A bruise would greet me
For my bitter attack,
And let it, I thought.
This was not what I had planned.
Who'd have thought my mind would be right?
Hurt more than she could know,
I leaped over the debris
To the other side of the pool.
Shark fin went with shark tail,
As they gleamed the surface.
The sight of it had sent man running,
I wanted her to run too.
The mess on the other side
Was a pleasant reprieve,
Of more litter
And trinkets,
To remind me
That I had lost.
More scars and pain
Were all I had to gain,
And I could just as well do it,
Deep in the dark.
snaccability
❝ Mind spinning in [c i r c l e s], you're waiting to [s p e a k...]
These [h a n d s] here in front of me anxiously wait to [s e e] ...❞
These [h a n d s] here in front of me anxiously wait to [s e e] ...❞
The sound his tail
had made upon the surface of the
dirty, debris-filled water
was unearthly
in the sense that
it had come from him.
I could have mistook it
easily for the clap of thunder,
that followed a brilliant flash of lightening.
His words were bitter,
but it wasn't my fault.
Who was I to let his hopes
build up
and have it all be for naught?
Who was I to make promises to
this merman,
without any certainty
that I could come through?
I couldn't do such a thing,
and wouldn't, even though
he seemed utterly wroth with me.
"I can try,
try to do something for you.
But I can't guarantee it'll work
or no one will see you.
I just can't.
I'm not strong enough to
carry you.
And I can't promise anything.
If you can't have a little patience
and optimism,
you can rot here in my
flimsy pool.
If my mom doesn't notice you
and call authorities,
that is."
I bit back,
glaring once again.
If he wanted to act like
a little child,
throwing a tantrum
after not getting his way
he could do so alone.
I may or may not be able to help him,
but I wasn't going to be talked to in
the way he had talked to me.
I moved away with
slight anger and resumed cleaning the deck.
As I did so,
I realized that he was desperate.
If I was in his situation,
I wouldn't be exactly polite and genial
to someone how could be my captor.
I felt bad for letting my
voice tinge itself with acidity,
realizing that sympathy sometimes
came too late,
before a mistake could be stopped.
"I'm sorry",
I whispered.
had made upon the surface of the
dirty, debris-filled water
was unearthly
in the sense that
it had come from him.
I could have mistook it
easily for the clap of thunder,
that followed a brilliant flash of lightening.
His words were bitter,
but it wasn't my fault.
Who was I to let his hopes
build up
and have it all be for naught?
Who was I to make promises to
this merman,
without any certainty
that I could come through?
I couldn't do such a thing,
and wouldn't, even though
he seemed utterly wroth with me.
"I can try,
try to do something for you.
But I can't guarantee it'll work
or no one will see you.
I just can't.
I'm not strong enough to
carry you.
And I can't promise anything.
If you can't have a little patience
and optimism,
you can rot here in my
flimsy pool.
If my mom doesn't notice you
and call authorities,
that is."
I bit back,
glaring once again.
If he wanted to act like
a little child,
throwing a tantrum
after not getting his way
he could do so alone.
I may or may not be able to help him,
but I wasn't going to be talked to in
the way he had talked to me.
I moved away with
slight anger and resumed cleaning the deck.
As I did so,
I realized that he was desperate.
If I was in his situation,
I wouldn't be exactly polite and genial
to someone how could be my captor.
I felt bad for letting my
voice tinge itself with acidity,
realizing that sympathy sometimes
came too late,
before a mistake could be stopped.
"I'm sorry",
I whispered.
Cleaver Greene
Aged Informer
- Nature’s order had won,
Repairing chaos;
Placid water and frigid air
Separating mer and man.
Their constructs still invading,
Warring with our home,
A constant reminder of
Oblivious tyrants.
A new life for order,
But an order better than her.
Disrupted earthen sludge
clouded the watery air
As I settled on smooth floor.
Sharpened stones
And splintered steel
Dancing to an
unheard beat.
Dancing.
Cutting.
Rotting.
Dying.
There was nothing in the
abyss.
Deepest ocean held more
than this.
As dirt reclaimed its place
And debris shuddered,
Shrinking the endless abyss,
I admitted defeat.
Somewhere far
- far
- away
Was a place I should have been.
I would remember it,
For the forests of seaweed that waved in the tide,
Sun-kissed ships that would never again sail,
Flowers of colour that let stone keep secrets,
And the water; a loving soul that bound it all.
I would never see it again.
As much as I had strived to find
A way back to my hidden home,
It was a paradise lost.
And then, dodging past broken parts,
Swimming through light to dark,
Came two seeds of dream:
- “I’m sorry.”
That sent even the strongest sea-beast away,
The music pleaded with my hope.
It was no easier to breathe
In that half of the pool,
But I refused to see her,
Should she kill the dream.
"If you want to help,
You can start by clearing
This dastard mess."