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Tanqexe

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Post: 13021569_1 created on Wed, 12 Apr 2006 09:22:24 +0000
Posted: Wed, 12 Apr 2006 09:22:24 +0000

This story started out as an idea for last year's Rising Stars of Manga contest, but I found myself being crunched for time because of school and had to abandon the project. Now that I'm graduating soon, I've decided to jump-start the story again.

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Fenghuang Beiming (鳳凰悲鳴) tells the tale of a fictional fantasy world historically parallel to the Chinese Song Dynasty era. An era marked by remarkable technological and economic progress, the Song Dynasty was also an era of weak leadership and great distrust in the country's defenders; these weaknesses and government corruption proved the downfall of the Northern Song Dynasty as the ruthless Jurchen Jing armies invaded the Central Plains.

22 years after the fall of Northern Song, Murong Yan, a young woman orphaned during the initial Jing invasion, now follows the dying words of her mentor to find a temple hidden in the Huangshan mountains, unknowing of the great burden she will have to bear.

Prelude (20 pages)
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Page 1

Page 2-6 layouts are done, but are in various stages of finalizing.

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Thoughts so far? And yeah...I can't claim to be a fantastic writer, so if a writer who's interested in Chinese history could help me out, that'd be great biggrin

Odyism

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Post: 13021569_2 created on Wed, 12 Apr 2006 13:20:17 +0000
Posted: Wed, 12 Apr 2006 13:20:17 +0000

Critique?
As of now the biggest problem is that your fonts don't look good on the cover images sweatdrop
Besides that everything is promising, and you definatly could have won the Rising Stars contest

green star fix

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Post: 13021569_3 created on Wed, 12 Apr 2006 13:36:19 +0000
Posted: Wed, 12 Apr 2006 13:36:19 +0000

See i do not see any problems with the font since it is clear and easy to read and does not disrupt the images at all. As for the images, they are stunning especially the landscape on the first page.
The story from what you have mentioned so far seems extremly interesting and im sure i wont be only person who wants to read more 3nodding heart

Tanqexe

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Post: 13021569_4 created on Wed, 12 Apr 2006 19:07:02 +0000
Posted: Wed, 12 Apr 2006 19:07:02 +0000

You might be right about the fonts, man...I'm looking for something fairly calligraphic but flows well. This is going to require digging into some font archives...lol, I used to have some fonts that would've worked well, but my compy went kaboom on me sad

Mr McGrumpypants

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Post: 13021569_5 created on Wed, 12 Apr 2006 21:46:29 +0000
Posted: Wed, 12 Apr 2006 21:46:29 +0000

Quite frankly, this looks very nice. 3nodding I love how it looks more like a painting. The lighting seems well done. I can't really say much about that because I tend to keep my house rather dimly lit, so I'm not used to seeing bright landscapes and such. Damn photosensitivity to hell!

Anyway... Do you know much about Chinese culture? It's a little... dangerous (probably isn't the best word to describe it, but it's the first that comes to mind) to mess with stories set in places that you have little knowledge about. Not only will you be portraying a rather unrealistic environment but you'll also look like an a** to anyone who has a clue.

That aside, I'm willing to do some studying to write for this. xp

EDIT: Hm... I think your title font looks good, though it does seem a tad too small. It's as if they're being compressed, which sometimes happens when you're using a font for a particular size that it wasn't really designed for.

Tanqexe

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Post: 13021569_6 created on Wed, 12 Apr 2006 22:13:50 +0000
Posted: Wed, 12 Apr 2006 22:13:50 +0000

My man, I've been hooked on wuxia stories ever since my pops re-enacted stories like State of Divinity and Demi-Gods, Semi-Devils using his fingers when I was 5 xp Since then I've collected some awesome CCTV series that have come out of late, and I love'em to death.

I'm pretty familiar with dresses, architecture and customs associated with the period, plus I'm taking a course on Ancient Chinese Medicine, which touches on that aspect of the culture as well. On top of that, I've compiled a 29-page paper on the fall of the Song Dynasty from a Chinese History forum that's been pretty helpful in laying out some ideas for the background of the story.

I did want to introduce mesh fantasy elements with history, so that does give a bit of leeway in terms of what can be done in the story.

So you're interested in helping with the writing, Held? smile Not that I want to pry, but do you have some prose that I can look at that might be similar to the tone of what I'm trying to do?

Mr McGrumpypants

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Post: 13021569_7 created on Wed, 12 Apr 2006 22:23:48 +0000
Posted: Wed, 12 Apr 2006 22:23:48 +0000

gonk Probably not, as the stories I wrote for fanfiction were horrible garbage. I've tried my hand at two original stories; one I abandoned after I got no response or critique, the other becoming a novel I plan on putting out (which I refuse to show to anyone, including family and friends).

I may have an old file laying around, though. One moment.

EDIT: eek I just realized the book I was writing is on my old computer, which crashed in... October, if I remember right. Also, I have nothing on my laptop, so I'll write something up and give it to you in a couple days if you don't mind waiting.

Tanqexe

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Post: 13021569_8 created on Wed, 12 Apr 2006 22:31:50 +0000
Posted: Wed, 12 Apr 2006 22:31:50 +0000

Vergessen Held

GAH I hate how computers just die on you...my desktop died a year and a half ago and I put it on life support...but in the end I lost my files because my laptop, which also had backup files, died on me too >_< I totally understand. And no, I don't mind waiting, because I'm not in that much of a hurry to push out pages for the next month or so. I'm just looking for something that combines lyrical with dramatic approach to writing that also doesn't kill the personality of the characters in the story.

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Post: 13021569_9 created on Thu, 13 Apr 2006 00:10:55 +0000
Posted: Thu, 13 Apr 2006 00:10:55 +0000

It looks fantastic so far. I love the artwork, it's very well done. (How long does it take for you finish a page?)

Unfortunetly, I don't know much about ancient Chinese culture; but I would love to see more; perhaps you'd do a webcomic one day?

(Randomness: I'm not sure if TokyoPop's Rising Stars would take this... it has a similar flow compared to traditional manga, true, but somehow, the art style might be a little hefty for them... just a something from an ameteur though! >< wink

Tanqexe

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Post: 13021569_10 created on Thu, 13 Apr 2006 00:55:40 +0000
Posted: Thu, 13 Apr 2006 00:55:40 +0000

If I ignore all other responsibilities, I can probably crunch out a page a day or less. But since there're other things to do...well, I don't get much time to do a lot, hence the one-year hiatus lol.

But if this thing makes it to 20 pages, I'll think of putting it on a dedicated site.

I gave up on RSoM when I looked at the winning entries. Probably won't think about doing it again smile

Mr McGrumpypants

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Post: 13021569_11 created on Thu, 13 Apr 2006 01:07:23 +0000
Posted: Thu, 13 Apr 2006 01:07:23 +0000

This begs a question, though... How am I (or anyone else) going to be credited?

Tanqexe

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Post: 13021569_12 created on Thu, 13 Apr 2006 01:24:44 +0000
Posted: Thu, 13 Apr 2006 01:24:44 +0000

Well you notice a lot of empty space on the b&w cover page? That's where the credits would go. So there'd be a slot for principal author, principal artist, and contributors.

Is that what you mean?

Mr McGrumpypants

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Post: 13021569_13 created on Thu, 13 Apr 2006 01:46:52 +0000
Posted: Thu, 13 Apr 2006 01:46:52 +0000

Alrighty. I'm content. I'll get back to working on my short. Any specific topic or length it should be?

Tanqexe

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Post: 13021569_14 created on Thu, 13 Apr 2006 02:33:54 +0000
Posted: Thu, 13 Apr 2006 02:33:54 +0000

Topic or length doesn't matter to me, really. I just want to get a sense for how you pace a story and how you portray characters and general mood.

What say we shoot for...8 page story? Sound good? Describe the life of a person who has to live life in uncertain, volatile times (can be modern or ancient, whichever you are comfortable with), in first person; does one develop paranoia or youthful optimism for better times? You decide smile

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Post: 13021569_15 created on Thu, 13 Apr 2006 02:37:57 +0000
Posted: Thu, 13 Apr 2006 02:37:57 +0000

Wow eek This sounds very promising! Yeah, I to wanted to enter the Rising Stars of Manga, but didn't have enough time to do it. The feel to it is interesting, kinda makes me get attracted to the world in this. Looking forward to see more!

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