Welcome to Gaia! ::

Gaia Forums » GAIA Community » Extended Discussion
<3 </3

Did you realize how harmful these terms can be?

Yes- I never use them 0.48734693877551 48.7% [ 597 ]
Yes- but I still use them 0.15510204081633 15.5% [ 190 ]
No- but I'll stop using them now 0.071836734693878 7.2% [ 88 ]
No- but I'll keep using them 0.068571428571429 6.9% [ 84 ]
I don't get it. 0.21714285714286 21.7% [ 266 ]
Total Votes:[ 1225 ]
Reply
1 2 3 4 5 6 ... 67 68 69 > >>

Offline
User Image
First of all, this is for the discussion of the effect terminology has on the queer community. For a discussion of homosexuality in a biblical context, go here. For a discussion of pride, go here. To discuss adoption, go here.

Secondly, I'd like to clarify that the use of the word "queer" in this topic is in no way meant to be derogatory. I know that some people find the word offensive, however I do not- indeed I identify as queer. Its usage here is meant as a reference to anyone with a sexual orientation or gender identity other than cisgendered heterosexual- literally, anyone with an "atypical or uncommon" sexual orientation or gender identity.

It seems that every time the subject of sexuality is brought up, there are certain terms that are abundant, namely:

  • Preference
  • Lifestyle
  • Agenda


Quite frankly, these words irk the hell out of me. First of all, let's look at some definitions:

Quote:
pref·er·ence (pref'?r-?ns, pref'r?ns)
n.

The selecting of someone or something over another or others.
The right or chance to so choose.
Someone or something so chosen. See synonyms at choice.


So, according to the dictionary, Sexual preference quite literally means sexual choice. But wait! I didn't choose my sexuality! As a matter of fact, no one did!
Sexuality and Choice
The APA
Is Sexual Orientation A Choice?

No, human beings can not choose to be either gay or straight. Sexual orientation emerges for most people in early adolescence without any prior sexual experience. Although we can choose whether to act on our feelings, psychologists do not consider sexual orientation to be a conscious choice that can be voluntarily changed.

arrow Is Sexual Orientation A Choice?

arrow Sexuality Is Not A Choice

Hormones & Pheromones:

arrow Brain Responses Differ In Gay/Straight Men
arrow Gay Men Respond Differently To Pheromones
arrow Pheromone Attracts Straight Women & Gay Men
arrow Research Finds Differences In Lesbian Brains
arrow Homosexuality: A Natural Cause?


So, not only is the use of the word preference incorrect, but it's also harmful to all of the members of the queer community who have to fight off attacks based on the belief that they chose to be queer.

I've seen a lot of people get upset, and insist that it's "just a word". What they don't see is that people make assumptions based on that word. If you've never had anyone use the phrase "It's just a preference", followed with an anaolgy about dessert vs healthy food, (such as "I prefer pie to veggies" wink , and finished with a suggestion that what I "prefer" really doesn't matter, you're really in no position to understand where I'm coming from.


Ok, so now that that's clear, let's move on to the next word.

Quote:
life·style also life-style or life style (lif'stil')
n.
A way of life or style of living that reflects the attitudes and values of a person or group


Ok, I'm sure you've all heard of the so-called "homosexual lifestyle", however I have yet to have anyone describe one lifestyle that can apply to all of the queer people out there!

I mean, the lifestyle of a twenty-one year old gay university student is obviously going to be different than the lifestyle of 40 year old lesbian raising two teenagers on her own, and her lifestyle is going to be different than a 60 year old gay man who lives with his partner of 25 years. There are liberal gays, conservative gays, religious gays, atheist gays, and everything in between. Really, the term "homosexual lifestyle" is like saying the "caucasian lifestyle"- it's inapplicable and meaningless.

Finally, let's look at the "gay agenda":
Quote:
a·gen·da (?-jen'd?)
n., pl. -das.
A list or program of things to be done or considered


Ok, except for the fact that there is no broad range "gay agenda". An agenda is an organized list of things to do. We have a loosely defined goal- "Gain legal and social equality".

Ok, let's make that two goals, and add "remind members of the queer community that they aren't flawed, worthless, or subhuman." That's it. We go about it in whatever ways we can, depending on our situations- usually by offering supprt on whatever scale we can, in whatever ways we can.

Really, can someone explain how that's supposed to be some kind of fearful plot against humanity? All I see is a group of people trying to remove discrimination based on sexual orientation. Here, lets take a look at exactly what we're fighting against:
Disasters due to discrimination
- Gay Youth Suicide Statistics
- Suicide In Australia
- Iran's State Murder of Gays

Homophobia

- Homophobia and Its Cost to American Youth
- Laws, Studies, Polls, and (False) Arguments
- Those Things They Say About Gays: What The Accusations Are Based On and What the Underlying Reality Is
- Dr. Laura Slessinger
- Westboro Baptist Church's View on Gays
- Southern Voice Online: Refuge?
- DailyKos: Camp Hetero Horror
- Gay Teens Report High Rate of School Harassment

Wanted-Legal Equality

- Marriage Benefits Denied to Gays
- Don't ask, don't tell: is the Gay Ban based on military necessity?



Some specific groups may have what could be called an agenda (although I cannot think of any off the top of my head), however, the fact remains that there is no "gay agenda". Most of us are too busy trying to defend our right to exist to worry about much more than the short term.

Now, since this is ED and there are supposedly plenty of intelligent people in here, I'm sure you can find something to discuss. Now, get to it!

Note 1: Definitons from Answers.com.
Note 2: I'd like to thank the TRCer's and the BabyEaters for the link lists, and take this time to pimp the guilds:
The Rainbow Connection
The BabyEaters
GumDrop Buttons (sister guild to TheRC)

Offline
*Sigh* MUST we have 753262346342 threads going on at the same damn time about gays? Honestly, for a group who wants nothing more than to be seen as normal (or "part of the crowd" wink , you sure like to remind everyone of your presence a lot.

Anyway... yes, I agree. Homosexual agenda actually cracks me up. No, not cause I'm straight (though really, I'm sure I'm actually bisexual - I stand by my belief that EVERYONE is bisexual to at least some degree.), just cause it's so effing retarded. Just another proof of the generalised ignorance of America.

However, I'm curious; what do you say to those that "become" gay or lesbian after a traumatic experience with the opposite sex, for example?

Personally, I think it's a biological thing (sexual preference, I mean) first and for most. But, like anything else, socialogy CAN have a perverse effect on it in the end.

Offline
While I can Agree with most of your sentiment on a Literary level, you lack the understanding that the Term "Prefrence" Does not mean exactly what it is supposed to men. This is due to the large Improper use of many words in America. Any word can become any other word, simply by a majority accepting at such, and then we are stuck with a further confuseing Vernacular.


Sexual Prefrence.

You Prefer on sex to the other.

Offline
Many things labeled as a preferance are not really choices. I did not choose to like vanilla milkshakes more than chocolate ones. It was just sort of always that way. No concious decision was made.

So if preferance denotes choice of desires, then is anything really a preferance since desires are seldom chosen?

Offline
Rookherst[KOS]
While I can Agree with most of your sentiment on a Literary level, you lack the understanding that the Term "Prefrence" Does not mean exactly what it is supposed to men. This is due to the large Improper use of many words in America. Any word can become any other word, simply by a majority accepting at such, and then we are stuck with a further confuseing Vernacular.


Sexual Prefrence.

You Prefer on sex to the other.


Ah, but heterosexuals and homosexuals do not simply prefer one sex over the other. We demand it. If we cannot find a person of that sex, we will not decide to settle for the other sex.

Going by your avatar, I'm assuming you are male. And since you are arguing this, I am also assuming you are straight. If you could not find a girlfriend, would you decide to get a boyfriend instead?

I'm betting no.

Offline
I'd like to add:

What the hell is your BEEF. That term is hadly in use anymore. the more widly accepted "Sexual Orientation" is in popular use.

Offline
Rookherst[KOS]
While I can Agree with most of your sentiment on a Literary level, you lack the understanding that the Term "Prefrence" Does not mean exactly what it is supposed to men. This is due to the large Improper use of many words in America. Any word can become any other word, simply by a majority accepting at such, and then we are stuck with a further confuseing Vernacular.


Sexual Prefrence.

You Prefer on sex to the other.
Yes but that would imply that one has some degree of interest in both but greater so to a specific one. For that to be appropriate one would have to be bisexual.

Offline
Rookherst[KOS]
I'd like to add:

What the hell is your BEEF. That term is hadly in use anymore. the more widly accepted "Sexual Orientation" is in popular use.


Well, I get offended when someone calls my orientation a preference because it seems to set it on a lower level than heterosexuality. They wouldn't dream of calling heterosexuality a 'preference', so I do not like to hear them refer to homosexuality as one either.

It may seem overly picky to you, but it means a lot to some people such as myself.

Offline
Chaoticalexis
Rookherst[KOS]
While I can Agree with most of your sentiment on a Literary level, you lack the understanding that the Term "Prefrence" Does not mean exactly what it is supposed to men. This is due to the large Improper use of many words in America. Any word can become any other word, simply by a majority accepting at such, and then we are stuck with a further confuseing Vernacular.


Sexual Prefrence.

You Prefer on sex to the other.
Yes but that would imply that one has some degree of interest in both but greater so to a specific one. For that to be appropriate one would have to be bisexual.
Which everyone is, really.

So technically that'd be correct, if society wasn't so god damned judgmental.

Offline
FerretPrince
Rookherst[KOS]
I'd like to add:

What the hell is your BEEF. That term is hadly in use anymore. the more widly accepted "Sexual Orientation" is in popular use.


Well, I get offended when someone calls my orientation a preference because it seems to set it on a lower level than heterosexuality. They wouldn't dream of calling heterosexuality a 'preference', so I do not like to hear them refer to homosexuality as one either.

It may seem overly picky to you, but it means a lot to some people such as myself.
Since when? I call heterosexuality a preference just as much as I call homosexuality a preference (which is pretty much never, by the way; I'm just saying that it's not a term I, or anyone else I know, reserves strictly for "Teh gayz"

Offline
Rookherst[KOS]
I'd like to add:

What the hell is your BEEF. That term is hadly in use anymore. the more widly accepted "Sexual Orientation" is in popular use.
Except that probably six times a day I see someone use the word "preference" to describe my deep-seated disgust for male genitalia.

Offline
TO both who attempted to debunk me:

The use of Prefrence does not imply the Choice, nor the deman for either Sex. What it states is that you do Prefer one sex over the other, in the sence that it is not IMPOSSIBLE for you to have Sex with another gender, though you would *gasp* Prefer not too.

Offline
Well, okay.. I'm not against homosexuals, I'm all for it. Though I'm straight myself. But I must wonder... if you find "sexual preference." and "lifestyle" offensive, what are we allowed to call homosexuals. I saw you say queer a few times but that seems more degrading that the words you claim are offensive.

Not to mention the fact that in good old English, queer doesn't mean homosexual, it means different.

Offline
aguyuno
Chaoticalexis
Rookherst[KOS]
While I can Agree with most of your sentiment on a Literary level, you lack the understanding that the Term "Prefrence" Does not mean exactly what it is supposed to men. This is due to the large Improper use of many words in America. Any word can become any other word, simply by a majority accepting at such, and then we are stuck with a further confuseing Vernacular.


Sexual Prefrence.

You Prefer on sex to the other.
Yes but that would imply that one has some degree of interest in both but greater so to a specific one. For that to be appropriate one would have to be bisexual.
Which everyone is, really.

So technically that'd be correct, if society wasn't so god damned judgmental.
Only if you're accepting of a Freudian psyhcologial state, which I can assure you not every psyhcologist will agree with. Psychological theories abound and while that certainly is a candidate for being the final-say-so, it is by no means definite or the only one around that makes sense.
Gaia Forums » GAIA Community » Extended Discussion

Quick Reply

Submit
Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
More
Get GCash
Offers
More
Get Items
More Items
More
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
  • Guilds
    fan clubs for the stuff you love
  • Chat
    chat in real time with other Gaians
  • Art Arenas
    browse & rate gaian art galleries
  • Clans
    play zOMG with others
More
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
More
Gaia's Games
Mini-Games
More
Play with GCash
Play with Platinum
More