Tuesday, June 29, 2004 - 11:34 A.M.
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I want to get something straight. I've always liked Neon. I thought she was cute, and spunky, and, well, fun.
I was apparently quite wrong.
I told the little brat about what's happening to Lith and she laughed. She didn't care at all! She called him weak and told me to stop "coddling" him. I think she's taken one too many blows to the head, myself. And I have this irresistable urge to go over to Syc's and squish the little brat. She doesn't deserve Lith. It's a good thing it happened now.
Last night Oxygen came over. She said she needed to talk to Lithium because she wanted to be his friend and make him feel better. I wasn't sure how good of an idea that was, but I brought her home with me, and...hmm. Lithium's still in his house. Although at least now he's sleeping in his bed and not on the floor.
Here's what happened.
Lithium
CREAK.
Lith sighed and rolled over. The floor wasn't particularly comfortable on his back, but the satin bed seemed too contradictory to his foul mood and the pangs shooting through his abdomen, so he'd simply rolled off and made do with the acid-stained floorboards.
The house was barely recognizable now, at least from the inside. Many of the grand wrought-iron doors had been torn from their hinges; Lith had found the main wire for the lighting and burned through it, since the darkness seemed almost a comfort, and the brightly glowing lamps reminded him of Neon; countless shattered mirrors and windows littered the floors, always led away from by a trail of dull spots on the floor.
In the moonlight coming from outside the main house he could just make out the silhouette of a hand that he clenched into a fist.
Oxygen
Oxygen flittered over and looked at the mendel-sized house before her. She turned and waved to Cal, then threw Cal a wink for good measure! There would be no need for Cal to interupt! Because friendship always prevails!
Cheerfully, she landed over at the door and knocked. And knocked again. And again. Hmm... well, Cal did say that Lithium wasn't responding to anyone. But friendship always wins!
"LITHIUM!!!" she called out as loudly as she could. "Are you okay!?"
Lithium
"Oh, Jesus."
Lithium sat bolt upright upon hearing that awful cheery voice outside the house. He'd never been able to put his finger on WHY Oxygen's voice sounded to him like nails on a chalkboard--until tonight. He wanted nothing to do with anyone, least of all her.
Falling back to his side, Lithium curled tightly against the bed frame and tried his best to ignore it.
Oxygen
Hmm, this might be harder than she thought. But she was sure that Lithium was in there, right? Yai, from what she could see of the windows, this house was so dark inside. Poor Lithium! But she'd help him! She'd never give up!
"Come on, Lithium! You can't be very happy in there! You should be outside and making friends!"
She waited for an answer. Although if Lithium still refused to talk to her, she might have to break out her carebear stare ray secret weapon.
Lithium
Lithium sighed and put his forehead against his knees. What was this b***h's PROBLEM, anyway?
"I'd be a HELL of a lot happier if you would GO THE ******** AWAY, IDIOT!" he bellowed, clenching his fists against his aching stomach.
Oxygen
Oxygen took note of where the voice came from, and looked up towards the window. Ah ha! There he was! Cheerfully, she leaped into the air and headed right for it, then stopped as she was level with it.
As she looked into the darkness of the window, she wondered what to say, exactly. She had already apologized but Lith didn't forgive her, and that was probably because he didn't think of her as a friend anymore. So first thing's first! She had to make him realize that she was his friend!
"I see you, Lithium!" Oxygen giggled. Actually, she couldn't see him at all, it was so dark. "Lithium, you should stop doing this! You had us worried!"
Hmm... the window was broken, practically. She could fit right in. So she did so.
"Hi, Lithium! I hope you don't mind me coming in for a bit? But it's obvious that what you need now is a friend more than ever! And you DO have friends, Lithium! Even if you won't admit it!" she snapped, as she flicked on a light in her umbrella. It was just a normal white light that Jaes had managed to scrounge up in his lab, but it at least proved that the whole light-in-the-umbrella thing would work once she got those christmas lights.
...of course, what she was looking at at that very moment was anything but christmas-y.
Lithium looked sick! And he had cuts all over his knuckles and forearms, and his hair is a mess! And waaah! The entire sight freaked Oxygen out.
"LITHIUM! What... what HAPPENED!?" she cried out.
Lithium
"s**t happened," he said dryly, squinting and putting his hand up against the light. "s**t that you didn't help at all. And no, I haven't got friends. All I've got is one ex-girlfriend who won't speak to me and one annoying b***h who won't STOP speaking to me."
He glared at her. Who did she think she was, barging into his house like that? Especially now. When things were so horribly long, and it was partially her fault.
Oxygen
"I'm speaking to you even though you don't want me to because I'm your friend!" Oxygen proclaimed with determination. "And friends don't let friends do things like this to themselves! I was told that this was something you had to overcome, yourself, but I'd probably be the same as you today, if it weren't for my friends, so I'm not going to let this happen to you, either!"
Oxygen didn't say who told her that about Lithium. Because she didn't want to bring that up. Right now, it was more important that Lithium concentrate on friendship, not love. Because while love could bring about the greatest things, Oxygen had also learned by without friends to support you if you lost it, you'd be nothing but sad all day. Like Lithium! AND NO ONE SHOULD BE SAD!
Lithium
"You're not my friend," Lithium grunted. "I haven't got friends, and I don't need them. In fact, I don't need anything except to stay right here--ALONE--until I die." He frowned and rolled over, scratching at a mat in his hair. "So ********]
Oxygen
"I am not leaving, Lithium!" Oxygen snapped. "Not until you're out of this house and feeling better! And obviously, talking to you isn't going to work, so I'm going to have to do something else from the bottom of my heart to show you that I really mean this!"
Grr! She'd make Lithium happy! Because sadness was evil and no one deserved that! All she had to do was think. What cheered her up? Swimming? No, she couldn't grab Lithium and drag him to the closest sink. Teddy bears? No, Lithium liked spiders, instead. J-Pop?
...ah ha!
"Where's your recording studio, Lithium? I know what I'll do! I'll sing you one of my favorite happiest J-Pop songs! Those always cheer me up! Because J-Pop is who I am and that will be true to my heart! ...and if you don't tell me where your recording studio is, then I'll go find it, myself!"
Lithium
"Go find it, then. And leave me alone." Lithium curled more tightly into a ball. He hated looking like this, silly and vulnerable, but he didn't want to give the slightest hint that he MIGHT be accepting Oxygen's company.
He WAS awfully lonely, but not THAT lonely.
Oxygen
"Yea, okay, Lithium!" Oxygen snapped. "I'll go find that recording studio, and I'm going to sing you the happiest J-Pop song EVER! And then once it's recorded, I'll turn it on and it can keep on singing and re-singing and re-singing again until you're filled with so much happiness that you'll be happier than a barrel full of monkeys or something!"
With that, she took off to browse through the house for a bit. Flipping through doorways, dashing up stairs, crashing her head against the wall...
"OW!"
It was only a brief moment later that she came back to Lithium rubbing her head and smiling nervously. "Um... er... can I have a hint, at least? Is it even in this house or is it in the house that this house is in?"
Lithium
"There's two," Lithium said curtly. "And why the hell would I give you a hint?" He sat bolt upright, fixing bloodshot and deep-socketed eyes on her in a cold glare. "Do you honestly think I WANT to be made to listen to J-pop songs over and over again? That is the MOST ANNOYING genre of music ever created." He folded his arms, scowling. "No way in hell am I helping you."
Honestly. Stupid b***h! As if he'd TELL her how to get on his nerves. He might as well show her to the room and turn on the equipment for her!
Oxygen
"J-Pop is not annoying, Lithium!" Oxygen crossed her arms and frowned. "J-Pop is the song of happiness and life!! And maybe if you'd listen to it instead of all that dark metallica music or all that sad stuff or so, you'd be a lot happ..."
Oxygen paused. Wait a minute. What was she doing!?
"ARGH! Now look at what you've done! Now even *I'M* mad!" Oxygen snapped. "I can't believe this!"
She sighed, then kneeled against the wall. ...before quickly getting away from it when she realized it was all cracked and broken and spikey.
"Okay, okay. I... I didn't want to bring it up because I figured you needed a friend more than love, but you DO know why Neon had to leave you, right?"
Lithium
Lithium let out a hissing noise.
"Don't you DARE bring that up, b***h," he said dangerously, getting to his feet and advancing on her. "It's halfway your fault anyway, and if you're here to gloat about it, then get the ******** out."
He stopped about three inches away from her and leaned until his face was close to hers, so close he was sure she could feel his breath on her face. It was cold.
"Neon was the only person I ever cared about, and the only one I was stupid enough to think liked me. I don't like you, and no matter what you say I know you don't like me. So ******** about it."
If he had to think about Neon while Little Princess Stupid b***h was in his room...he'd explode.
Oxygen
Eeep! Okay, yea, so that thing Oxygen thought about love being a lot scarier than war? It was definately true.
Be brave, Oxygen! If you don't do this, then what will happen to Lithium!?
She stood her ground. ...no, okay, actually, she took a step back. But she stood her ground after that!!! ...no, she wasn't sure if she could keep this up. Oxygen bowed her head down a bit.
"Then just... come on out, okay, Lithium? She... she told me that she wanted you to come out. Without her help. Because she told me that love is a terrible thing that only makes people weak and die. But I don't think it has to be that way, and you don't have to let it be that way, either!"
Lithium
"What the hell are you talking about?" he barked, but his tone was slightly softer. After regarding her for a moment in silence, with her head drooping, he turned away and sat heavily on the bed.
He was an a*****e. That was all there was to it. He'd never seen anyone get to Oxygen before at all, yet here she was, getting all depressive in his bedroom. And that, of course, was why Neon had realized she was better off.
"******** off," he muttered quietly. "You're lying. She doesn't give a s**t what happens to me, and for good reason." He stared at his scratched knuckles. "It doesn't really matter anymore."
Oxygen
"I'm not lying! She told me! The night before you broke up, she told me that she saw that love was going to do this to you. Because... because it almost did that to me. So she... she wanted to stop it before it was too late." Oxygen remarked, slowing down a bit.
Lithium
Lithium grimaced and glared at her. "Well, that was real ********' noble of her! She worked so hard to get me to like her, then she just decides to drop me because she thinks I'm going soft? How honorable!"
********. Every one of them. Even Neon. Why couldn't she have just left him alone?
Oxygen
"She.... she thinks that she's doing the right thing." Oxygen replied, looking away a bit. Did she have to cry at EVERYTHING? "I don't know if Neon's right. I... I don't want to believe that love can be bad, even if it hurt me a lot, once. But I know that she thinks she's right, and she thinks she's doing the right thing because she cares about you!"
Useless useless useless... this... this couldn't be true.
Oxygen looked out the window, then back towards Lithium. "Lithium, please don't die. I don't want to believe that love makes someone so 'soft' that they need it so much that they die. I don't want you to die! If I leave you alone now, do you think you'll die, Lithium?"
Lithium
"I'll die because I WANT to die, not because of 'love' or anything like that," he spat. "And whether you're here or not isn't going to change that. In fact, if you don't quit ******** bothering me, I might just have to speed up the process."
He rested his chin on his knees. "I don't know if she's right, or I'm right, or if ANYTHING is right anymore. But I do know that I don't care. And that I'm finished with everyone."
Oxygen
This... was it, wasn't it? Speed up the process? Maybe she really did only make things worse. ...no! There had to be a way. She just... she just didn't know it, yet!
"I'm going now, Lithium." she softly whispered. "But not because I'm giving up. I'm not going to give up, Lithium. I'll find a way to save you. Or... I think something will. Because it can't be this way. It just can't."
She zipped out of the window, and then looked back in towards the sickly mendel, who now was barely discernable at all.
"But if I'm wrong, and you do die, then just remember! I'll cry for you, Lithium! And I'm sure Neon will, too! But until then, I'm going to try. I'm not going to give up!"
And with that, she flew over to Calliel. And she knew what she was going to say. She'd probably say it while crying, tears streaming down her eyes as always. Because she was weak. And she'd say "I'm so sorry, Miss Calliel. I'm not good enough to be Lithium's friend yet. Just... take me home. But I'll be back! I mean it!" and that... that would be the most she could do.
Lithium
Lithium leaned back against the pillows, feeling, although he'd thought it impossible, much worse than before she'd come. He wanted to hate her and Neon, to wish them nothing but ill and dissolve into his little ball of hatred until nothing else was left but a fragile, dried-up, ugly brown shell.
But he didn't hate them, at least not Neon, because try as he might to push them off any make them fit the holes he'd created for them in his mind, they wouldn't. They persisted in trying to help him and it made him sick.
Completely puzzled, and insides churning with hunger and--inexplicably--fear, he leaned back against the sheets. They were too luxurious...far too comfortable...but just this once, he couldn't be moved, and he drifted into the first sleep of days.