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Wow, well that sounds pretty intense, but from my experience in other similar situations as a 3rd party observer, here's my (equally intense) input:

Parents

I think your parents are holding high standards over your head because they are worried that you are different enough to be ostracized; you have to keep in mind, though, that we live in a different world than our parents. Where we pride individuality, your parents are worried that you won't be accepted by other people who they assume have the same standards they do. This is slightly unfair on their part, but it sounds like that's what their deal is. They're worried so much that they set unrealistic expectations for you so that at least they convince you to shoot for goals that high. This has the potential to backfire, though, because you would then either become an over-achiever or a spiteful slacker.

My parents also treat me more like a tenant and less like a family member, which actually has its advantages as much as disadvantages. The fact that you have a strong personality (gothic lolitas and ravergrrls tend to be strong personalities, in my experience) is probably what is offsetting them. In other words, they try to push you to be their vision of ideal, but because it irks you, they are probably backing off of basic familial intimacy because they fear you might consider it contrived or forced, and ultimately, not genuine. I could be way off the mark in your case, but that's what the case is with my parents, and I figure this info could be useful to you.

Don't just let them know that you are trying very hard to be what you are, but also let them know that you are trying to be what they want you to become without compromising your integrity. Let them know that you can't become someone else, but that you are willing to find a compromise. Compromise being the key word, their ears will perk up at this and they will then start to work with you. At least that will keep them at bay. If they don't start to work with you, then say you can't work with them.



The Boy

Yeah, that James guy sounds like a douche. But young guys are usually awkward as much as a little too forward. If you tell him to back off and he doesn't, ditch him; because if he doesn't understand that the best thing a guy can do for a girl is to let her do what she wants, then he's not ready for a real relationship. And the earlier you teach a guy that a relationship isn't just about being able to say you're dating someone, the better off he will be later in life. Also, what the hell is with constantly dropping the name of his ex? YOU DON'T DO THAT IN CURRENT RELATIONSHIPS. It's unfair to compare relationships, every relationship is a different experience entirely. Comparing girls based on the fact that they were simply girlfriends is like comparing dot com websites ("well, they both end in .com, right? so one should be like the other?" Nope.).

Oh, as a warning, he'll freak that you are dumping him (either passively or aggressively) because he sounds like a typical boy, but it'll pass. But as long as you let him know what bothers you about him you can either change him for the better or leave his immature arse in the dust.

Your Friend

Tell your friend Jamie that if she wants to attract decent guys she has to stop wearing the uniform of a hooker. The longer she dresses like a skank, the more she will attract complete jerks.

Oh oh, but it also sounds like you've got a typical love triangle going on. Interestingly enough, it might be important to inform Brian about this situation. Because the more intimate Emily and Brian become, the more Jamie will channel her jealousy in self-destructive acts.

But you know, a boy in between the friendship of two girls is a real test. You should point out to them that if they let something as simple as a silly boy ruin their friendship that they should evaluate their friendship in the first place.
Also, you should play "You're gonna need your friends" by the Pansy Division for them, because the lyrics are very important:

I left a message for you weeks ago
You won't return call
You've got a man in your life I know
Now we don't see you at all
And your friends wonder where you've been
You've been spending all your time with him
Who's gonna dry your eyes When he lets you down
Your gonna need your friends
Let me tell you this again
You're gonna need your friends
When he looks in your eyes
And tells you that this is the end
I believe that the time is gonna come
It won't be pretty when you find
You're all alone
You've been spendeng every day with him
You've got a membership to the same gym
And your friends, well they wonder
When you'll come around
You're gonna need your your friends
I gotta tell you this again
Your gonna need your friends
When he looks in your eyes
And tells you that this is the end
Is he worth the price you're gonna pay
For letting all your frindships wither away
Are you sure you're gonna like
Where you seem to be bound
Your gonna need your friends
Are you listening my friend?
You're gonna need your friends
When he looks you in the eye
And tells you that this is the end
He's gonna tell you that this is the end

Self Infliction

Look, I'm not going to tell you that everything is going to be ok because it's not. The world is NOT okay. But that's part of the challenge of living in it. And the more you overcome the crappiness, the stronger your conviction of character will become, and the sweeter the good things in your life become as well.

I used to cut also, but as soon as I left "everything sucks!" behind and opted for "alright, life; BRING IT ON, SUCKA" that my outlook became a lot more optimistic. That is for the psychological wounds healing -- but as far as the physical ones, I'd say... Neosporin?

Holy Jeebus, that was a long post, but I hope it helps, and I hope that your life gets under control. Godspeed!