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What many of us have feared for years has finally occurred. Long has the faggification of America been rotting the minds of our youths, but now it is more dangerous than ever.
Scientists at that evil Yankee college, Harvard, have discovered the gene that causes homosexuality. At first this would seem a blessing as it could be used to abort these creatures before their birthing as our religion so decrees. However, this is not the case. These scientists have invaded the Holy Land and created a gay colony near Jesussaves, Iowa. They are preparing an army of gays there to march on our Godfearing homes from the very center of the Promised Land.
Now you may ask yourself "They are just babies, we can eliminate them rather easily now can't we?" However, this is not the case. For one the news comes to us several years after the discovery by the Yanks and implementation of their evil plans. Secondly, the creations grow at an amazing pace and have already invaded our society. You may recognize some frome television even.
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These children are secluded in a small base camp known only as Revelation 1. Here they are exposed to nothing but gay culture and battle training. They are kept in bunks that are made of needles to toughen them up and a device to pleasure them. During the day they are fed fetii of straight children so that they develop a taste for human flesh and learn to differentiate by smell alone humans and gays. They are shown television shows promoting sodomy and feminine behavior for males and masculine behavior for females. Soon after they are separated into groups to participate in their religious ceremony of Orgeia, which is nothing more than an orgy, celebrating Satan. Once this is complete they are taught how to entice children with such things as candy and toys. Then they are trained how to battle.
Essentially, all the gays come from this small base of Revelation 1 and are infiltrating our society in order to destroy us all. They are Satans servants and the bringers of the Apocalypse. They are the army the Four Horsemen shall lead against us. The Horsemen have also infiltrated society already. They will enact their plans by running for the Presidency again in 2008, though our Lord Bush now is saving our land.
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We cannot allow these war preparations to further any more. We must fight back now. This is going to be rather harsh but, here are my thoughts on why the are doing this: BecausetheyareGAYHOMOOSandhateusallforbeingbetterandWEAREBETTER
moresuperiorthanthemeventhoughiamoneofthemandthisissatirebutyouwon't
carebecauseyoudon'twanttoreadbuttheGAYSAREVILandmustbestoppedandt
hatswhatyouwillnoticeandnotthesatire.

Obvioulsy you can see why they are evil creatures.
But even morefrightening is the fact that they can mutate almost instantaneously into the demons they so desparately try to hide being. In these forms they are even more powerful.
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So what do you, the reader believe it is that gives birth to the, albeit less absurdly presented, fear by some conservatives in America that gays are taking over and will somehow ruin this world? What are the reasons for it and why is it such an issue now?
*sighs* Don't you ever get tired of creating these threads?

But I do like the Queer Eye for the Straight Guy pic. ^_^
an army of gay guys, sounds fun to me they can do my hair blaugh
Because the bible says so, obviously. And as we all know, the Bible is THE WORD. You can't go against the WORD, man. rolleyes
chikushou
*sighs* Don't you ever get tired of creating these threads?

But I do like the Queer Eye for the Straight Guy pic. ^_^


Nope. I guess I'm just a silly man.

Cuddly Bunny

I know this is totally off topic, but since when is there any posts on topic in ED anymore?

Is there really a Jesussaves, Iowa? And if so, does one have to be engineered to be in this army, or can one simply join? Are there rigorous tests?
0mg! d3y r (uM1n6!!! r()n 4w4y!!!

Yeah, I don't really get why people think that gays are "taking over". Technically, the straight people are trying to take over by shunning the gays. It's a conspiracy!
Generic Hero #37
Because the bible says so, obviously. And as we all know, the Bible is THE WORD. You can't go against the WORD, man. rolleyes


Please tell me this is satire.

Because you know what the realy universal text is? The atheist text!

There isn't an atheist taste you say? Well...you're right.
[sigh]

satire on gaia is getting so old.
Dalilly
an army of gay guys, sounds fun to me they can do my hair blaugh


lol

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Kameryn
I know this is totally off topic, but since when is there any posts on topic in ED anymore?

Is there really a Jesussaves, Iowa? And if so, do one have to be engineered to be in this army, or can one simply join? Are there rigorous tests?


I know theres something along those lines. I've forgotten exactly what the name was though. I do suppose you could join either way, as the "Yanks at Harvard" were not engineered, they did the engineering.
Mytharis
Generic Hero #37
Because the bible says so, obviously. And as we all know, the Bible is THE WORD. You can't go against the WORD, man. rolleyes


Please tell me this is satire.

Because you know what the realy universal text is? The atheist text!

There isn't an atheist taste you say? Well...you're right.

It is satire, don't worry. The eye roll was more toward my own comment than the thread.
But anyway! We should write an atheist text, called the Chronicles of Jeebus. It will be half interesting as Great Expectations and twice as long, and written entirely in Olde English.
Dalilly
an army of gay guys, sounds fun to me they can do my hair blaugh


Ewwww! You've got sooo many split ends? Shouldnt you use conditionnerrrr?

Um... on behalf of me, I'd like to apologize to all of the homosexuals of the world for that blatantly overused stereotype.
I think you'll be getting a lot of people who just see the word "gay" in the title and come in yelling "I'M FOR GAY RIGHTS!!!!!!". Have fun!

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