Ascher
(?)Community Member
- Posted: Tue, 03 May 2005 22:30:59 +0000
Hey everyone, this was the opening to a shortstory I never finished. Personally I feel that this opening stands pretty well on its own. Please feel free to point out any careless grammer/spelling/general mistakes i made, and please comment. If there's anything I hate about my own writing style it's that I never finish anything sweatdrop hehe
well here it is, comment away
_____________________________________________________________
Fallen Angel
By: D. Vasquez
The two swordsmen stood motionless. They gazed into each other's eyes looking for a sign, any sign. Fear, rage, doubt, these could all be exploited to gain the initiative. They drew steel. One from his sheathe pulled a rapier of shining silver, the other a long sword of blackest oblivion covered in warm blood. They lifted their blades in fighting stance and continued the stare down.
The stone walls around them shook with the tremors of impending collapse. They both knew neither would escape alive, but the two men were hell bent on killing one another. Dust and small pieces of stone fell from the ceiling as the ancient tower was shook to its foundations. The two men were unfazed, numb to the world that was crumbling all around them. This fight was for the girl.
She lay still on the floor between them, her skin as cold as the stones she slept on. A gaping hole had been stabbed into her chest. Blood trickled lightly from her tiny lips and the wound itself, her warm life slowly pooled beneath her on the icy marble. The swordsmen slowly began to close the distance between them. Their armored boots clanked lightly as they cautiously advanced. A black cape fluttered in the wind coming from a window that was recently formed when a cannonball struck the tower.
The fading sunlight danced across the two men's breastplates. Beauteous reflections off of a shining gold cuirass played on a nearby wall. Images of intricate metal etching adorned the wall as they too were reflected onto the wall from the armor. Great masters had forged the fencer's armor, which was so decorated with precious metals it seemed more a work of art and ceremonial than an actual protector.
From the other chest piece came only rays of pure black, which quickly moved to smother the light of the other armor. The light of the sun twisted and distorted on the surface of the bladesman's armor. The metal had been repeatedly forged, and blackened. It had many scars from years of use. These scars shone on the wall cruelly mocking the artistic etchings of the fencer's armor. Lining the shoulder guards were the carved ivory bones of the many people who had fallen to the dark warrior's blade. Both men wanted nothing more than to see the other lying in a puddle of his own blood before the tower came down around them. Even their armor was at war with each other. On the walls the battle of lights began. The beams swirled and intertwined, the dazzling rays flickered on the wall, refusing to be absorbed by the opposing side.
"You have brought this upon yourself. It is your fault she is dead." Said the gold armored fencer grimly.
A look of visibly fury came to the face of the other man. He burned with rage.
"Shut up! I'll enjoy gutting you!" He screamed as he brought his gloved hand into a fist that he held before him. He undid the buttons on his shoulder plates, and his crimson cloak flew from his back and out the hole in the wall. His long raven hair tossed violently in the wind. The fencer did the same and let his pure cape fly in the gusts, his short blonde hair remained rigid in the face of the winds. The two pieces of fabric caught on each other and battled all the way down to the ground hundreds of feet below.
"I can?t forgive you! All the work I put forth, my great plans were all ruined by your interference. Now the girl is dead and all that remains is us. I'm going to kill you, then I'll hunt your family down and kill them starting from your patriarch down to the lowliest pet dog." The black armor growled.
"Neither of us will leave here alive, you do know that." Said the fencer.
A canon sounded. The roof of the tower ripped itself from the structure. The walls around them fell outwards. The two men and the corpse of the girl were trapped on a creaking stone platform.
"This changes everything." Said the dark bladesman
"Indeed, it seems that one of us will leave alive after all." Said the fencer grimly.
The tower lost all balance and began to fall upon itself. The two men readied themselves as the platform began to fall straight downwards.
A quick exchange of sword strokes, they battled as they fell. Steel clashed upon steel as they made contact with blade and armor alike. Onlookers from the ground watched in awe. The light of the setting sun caught on their blades and flashed with each swing. Sparks flew as the swords crashed into one another with violent force. They locked blades. Both swordsmen planted themselves in an attempt to get leverage and force the other off balance.
She looked up at the two warriors dueling to the death. One was a villain of pure evil, the other was the man who had solemnly promised to rescue her sister. She refused to turn her gaze from the falling platform, watching the two men fight to the death. She could not help but call out his name.
"AZRAEL!"
The fencer turned his gaze from the battle, distracted by the cry. It was all the bladesman needed. He forced himself forward, which threw the fencer off balance, and then kicked him off the side of the ledge. Still not satisfied, the black armored knight dove off and followed in pursuit.
The golden warrior spared no time in regaining his balance in the air. He pointed his legs groundwards and looked up to see his opponent giving chase. They met in the sky and continued to swing steel. The ground drew closer. Several more quick sword flashes followed and the two men began to realize that the ground was quickly rising to meet them.
The tower hit the ground with an Earth shattering crash. The ground trembled for a moment as the soil attempted to absorb the shock. The girl watched star struck as the two men did not meet the same fate as the tower. Her jaw dropped as she witnessed two wings, blacker than the sky on a moonless night, unfurl from the dark knight's back. The fencer immediately followed suit as two shimmering golden wings revealed themselves from his back and glittered as they reflected the light of the setting sun. The two Angelicans continued their fight in the skies, until one fell, a rain of his own blood following him all the way down.
The victor landed, and limped slowly to the awestruck girl. She quickly ran to him and lent him her shoulder to ease the strain on his wounds. He coughed, blood spattered on her clothes.
"Your sister? I?m sorry... I failed to protect her..." He said
His black wings hung low and broken...
well here it is, comment away
_____________________________________________________________
Fallen Angel
By: D. Vasquez
The two swordsmen stood motionless. They gazed into each other's eyes looking for a sign, any sign. Fear, rage, doubt, these could all be exploited to gain the initiative. They drew steel. One from his sheathe pulled a rapier of shining silver, the other a long sword of blackest oblivion covered in warm blood. They lifted their blades in fighting stance and continued the stare down.
The stone walls around them shook with the tremors of impending collapse. They both knew neither would escape alive, but the two men were hell bent on killing one another. Dust and small pieces of stone fell from the ceiling as the ancient tower was shook to its foundations. The two men were unfazed, numb to the world that was crumbling all around them. This fight was for the girl.
She lay still on the floor between them, her skin as cold as the stones she slept on. A gaping hole had been stabbed into her chest. Blood trickled lightly from her tiny lips and the wound itself, her warm life slowly pooled beneath her on the icy marble. The swordsmen slowly began to close the distance between them. Their armored boots clanked lightly as they cautiously advanced. A black cape fluttered in the wind coming from a window that was recently formed when a cannonball struck the tower.
The fading sunlight danced across the two men's breastplates. Beauteous reflections off of a shining gold cuirass played on a nearby wall. Images of intricate metal etching adorned the wall as they too were reflected onto the wall from the armor. Great masters had forged the fencer's armor, which was so decorated with precious metals it seemed more a work of art and ceremonial than an actual protector.
From the other chest piece came only rays of pure black, which quickly moved to smother the light of the other armor. The light of the sun twisted and distorted on the surface of the bladesman's armor. The metal had been repeatedly forged, and blackened. It had many scars from years of use. These scars shone on the wall cruelly mocking the artistic etchings of the fencer's armor. Lining the shoulder guards were the carved ivory bones of the many people who had fallen to the dark warrior's blade. Both men wanted nothing more than to see the other lying in a puddle of his own blood before the tower came down around them. Even their armor was at war with each other. On the walls the battle of lights began. The beams swirled and intertwined, the dazzling rays flickered on the wall, refusing to be absorbed by the opposing side.
"You have brought this upon yourself. It is your fault she is dead." Said the gold armored fencer grimly.
A look of visibly fury came to the face of the other man. He burned with rage.
"Shut up! I'll enjoy gutting you!" He screamed as he brought his gloved hand into a fist that he held before him. He undid the buttons on his shoulder plates, and his crimson cloak flew from his back and out the hole in the wall. His long raven hair tossed violently in the wind. The fencer did the same and let his pure cape fly in the gusts, his short blonde hair remained rigid in the face of the winds. The two pieces of fabric caught on each other and battled all the way down to the ground hundreds of feet below.
"I can?t forgive you! All the work I put forth, my great plans were all ruined by your interference. Now the girl is dead and all that remains is us. I'm going to kill you, then I'll hunt your family down and kill them starting from your patriarch down to the lowliest pet dog." The black armor growled.
"Neither of us will leave here alive, you do know that." Said the fencer.
A canon sounded. The roof of the tower ripped itself from the structure. The walls around them fell outwards. The two men and the corpse of the girl were trapped on a creaking stone platform.
"This changes everything." Said the dark bladesman
"Indeed, it seems that one of us will leave alive after all." Said the fencer grimly.
The tower lost all balance and began to fall upon itself. The two men readied themselves as the platform began to fall straight downwards.
A quick exchange of sword strokes, they battled as they fell. Steel clashed upon steel as they made contact with blade and armor alike. Onlookers from the ground watched in awe. The light of the setting sun caught on their blades and flashed with each swing. Sparks flew as the swords crashed into one another with violent force. They locked blades. Both swordsmen planted themselves in an attempt to get leverage and force the other off balance.
She looked up at the two warriors dueling to the death. One was a villain of pure evil, the other was the man who had solemnly promised to rescue her sister. She refused to turn her gaze from the falling platform, watching the two men fight to the death. She could not help but call out his name.
"AZRAEL!"
The fencer turned his gaze from the battle, distracted by the cry. It was all the bladesman needed. He forced himself forward, which threw the fencer off balance, and then kicked him off the side of the ledge. Still not satisfied, the black armored knight dove off and followed in pursuit.
The golden warrior spared no time in regaining his balance in the air. He pointed his legs groundwards and looked up to see his opponent giving chase. They met in the sky and continued to swing steel. The ground drew closer. Several more quick sword flashes followed and the two men began to realize that the ground was quickly rising to meet them.
The tower hit the ground with an Earth shattering crash. The ground trembled for a moment as the soil attempted to absorb the shock. The girl watched star struck as the two men did not meet the same fate as the tower. Her jaw dropped as she witnessed two wings, blacker than the sky on a moonless night, unfurl from the dark knight's back. The fencer immediately followed suit as two shimmering golden wings revealed themselves from his back and glittered as they reflected the light of the setting sun. The two Angelicans continued their fight in the skies, until one fell, a rain of his own blood following him all the way down.
The victor landed, and limped slowly to the awestruck girl. She quickly ran to him and lent him her shoulder to ease the strain on his wounds. He coughed, blood spattered on her clothes.
"Your sister? I?m sorry... I failed to protect her..." He said
His black wings hung low and broken...