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To This Day
To this day - Full poem
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"When I was a kid
I used to think that pork chops and karate chops
Were the same thing
I thought they were both pork chops
And because my grandmother thought it was cute
And because they were my favorite
She let me keep doing it
Not really a big deal
One day
Before I realized fat kids are not designed to climb trees
I fell out of a tree
And bruised the right side of my body
I didn’t want to tell my grandmother about it
Because I was afraid I’d get in trouble
For playing somewhere that I shouldn't have been
A few days later the gym teacher noticed the bruise
And I got sent to the principal’s office
From there I was sent to another small room
With a really nice lady
Who asked me all kinds of questions
About my life at home
I saw no reason to lie
As far as I was concerned
Life was pretty good
I told her, “Whenever I’m sad
My grandmother gives me karate chops”
This led to a full scale investigation
And I was removed from the house for three days
Until they finally decided to ask how I got the bruises
News of this silly little story quickly spread through the school
And I earned my first nickname
Pork Chop
To this day
I hate pork chops."
- Shane Koyczan