Aspergers Syndrome advice?

[Ophelias Bathwater]

I don't have Aspergers, but my beau, a very nice man I've been seeing for a few weeks now has told me that he has Aspergers- which I never would have known had he not told me. I thought he was just in the depressed/anxious boat like me, but apparently there's another diagnosis.
I am embarassingly ill-informed on the subject, and since he told me, I've been gathering information on the subject to try and educate myself. The DSM didn't give me nearly as much information on the subject as reading about peoples' personal experiences with high-functioning autism. Does anybody here have any tips or stories they can share with me to help me better understand my boyfriend's condition?  

[Boadicia]

I have Asperger's comorbid with depression. One thing I can tell you is that he's probably asocial. A lot of people mistakenly think that asocial behavior is antisocial. I got a lot of beef because I didn't want to hang out or go to the movies or anything like that. The more I wanted to be alone, the more people bothered me, and then they'd blame me if I snapped. If he says he wants so time to himself, please give it to him. Then he'll feel less resentful when he decides to socialize.  

[Ophelias Bathwater]

Yeah, I have noticed a bit that he doesn't really like hanging around other people too much unless he's already familiar with them....he's got one really close friend and me and that's about it. He's very affectionate, but I do see what you're saying about being asocial. We've been together probably three or four weeks and we've been "out" together a grand total of twice. I do enjoy being out with him simply because I'm happy to be seen with him, but I'm equally happy to stay in and watch movies all evening with him. It's good that we're both very go-with-the-flow type people I suppose, but I'd hate to make him feel uncomfortable and end up making him feel forced into something he doesn't want to do. Thank you so much for the advice. ^_^  

[La Veuve Zin]

Really, if it's not obvious, I'd say there's not much you need to know. Nothing wrong with doing some research, but if you know him, you know him. The diagnosis might explain some of his quirks, but everyone's different and I wouldn't expect him to fit any particular criteria.  

[Civet Moon]

Le Veuve Zin is right, there. Though I'd say another thing to be aware of is sensory sensitivities or just general sensory processing problems. If, for example, he says that the sound of a light buzzing is bothering him, he's not being neurotic, whiny, or attention seeking. It *is* bothering him. You may want to read up a bit on AS in general, especially since he's offered the information to you, but you also don't want to end up pigeon-holing him into the diagnosis rather than understanding him for who he is. Maybe you should just ask him about it, actually, and he can either tell you the relevant bits to himself or hopefully point you in a direction where you can learn about it yourself. There are some forums for people with AS and HFA that you could visit, certainly, as well.  

[Rain_of_Glass_Petals]

Asperger's is both hard to understand and support. Those who don't have is are usually very confused or irritant when it comes to being with people with Asperger's. Of course, not everyone with it share the same lifestyle symptoms.

But here's the basic rundown of some things.
- Sleep patterns can be irregular. But it doesn't necessarily run down with a routine.
- Socializing can be an issue. It's more so because of lack of understanding and or caring much. It can be sometimes confused with anti-social disorder or lack of empathy. It's no that we don't care much for people, it's just that we actually enjoy silence and being alone more than others. Sometimes we view these as recovery states, which occur after an eventful day, and they can last for days even. So if he suddenly drops dates, doesn't feel the need to go out or invite people over, don't assume he's had a sudden disinterest in you.
It's his version of content, despite how selfish it may seem.

- Routines. It may seem like an extreme OCD, but sometimes these routines serve little purpose and are like scheduled events during the day. For example, I have a salad at 5:30-6pm everyday. Then at 10:40pm I prepare a snack. So my routine centers around meals. But these routines don't last forever. As of late, I've become bored of my routine, and am actually eating less. So in a sense, these routines can be a center of ones life/health, even if morbid.
His can be a workout routine, a certain destination he ventures to, etc. A tick, a knack.
And if this routine is disrupted, it can cause a negative response. Think childlike at times- a kid going crazy because he isn't getting the toy he wanted at the store.

- Obsessions. Sometimes we obsess over something for days, weeks, months. Intense research to gain more knowledge about a subject we find interesting. It can be beneficial or just unimportant. So if he suddenly starts concentrating himself on a subject, no matter how weird, it matters to him, so don't think it too odd.

- Poor social interaction skills. Inability to tell much from people in regards to [removed](especially around eyes). Very honest, which can cause problems when people seek it, but in truth don't want to hear it.

Those are some I can think of right now.