Kanpu Dorms Full (Limit of 5)

[ChisaiMix]

Asuna is actually going to make her exit. Carmillia is on the previous page  

[ChisaiMix]

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Carmillia continued to walk, out of the hallways and outside in the open where the sun had yet to set. It was weird waking up and there still be light outside. She continued to eat the box of animal crackers until there was nothing left. She shook it upside down to see if everything was gone yet. Her feet shuffled along the ground.

She heard him speak up about asking if she was good. She didn't want to speak much more about what had happened. It doesn't concern you she coughed. She said it listlessly with no emotion. But there was a hint of 'if you ask I'm going to decapitate every body part you have gleefully' in her voice.

At a regular pace the two of them eventually reached the dorms. She pulled a key out of her sweater pocket and put it in the key hole, opening the doors to the common area. She made her way into the kitchen and immediately made her way to the fridge. Someone made food she said dully. She found sushi. She sniffed it, set the plate down and took a piece with her fingers. She reached into the back of the fridge and pulled out a can of wet dog food .

Chiiros tail began to wag faster and faster. He pranced around his master knowing what he was to expect. Carmillia reached into one of the cupboards and pulled out the food dish along with a water dish. She filled both up ad put them on the ground for her dog to eat. Carmillia....your name is? she questioned with the continued emotionless state.

ＯＵＴ ＯＦ ＣＡＫＥ
Enter....

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Quote:

Knight Ciaran

╔═══════════════════════════════╗
What's the point in making friends,
when your going to
die anyways?
╚══════════════════════════╝
❤Current Mood - Deprressed/Sick/Tired ❤Where am I - Nurse's Office ❤Crush ❤

 

[Knight Ciaran]

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Mixy-Chan

§Namashi Takihara§

Don't judge me because I love violence, we all have our vices...

Namashi, returning to the dorm with a new dorm mate apparently, wore a mischievous smile from his encounter with Asuna back at the nurse's office. When the freshmen spoke about the coughing not concerning him he simply shrugged was right. "Just making sure you weren't dying." He responded, ignorant to her imminent fate that slowly reached for her every day. When the girl noted that someone made food and took out the sushi he simply stared at her, examining the little details, like the way she ate, the tone in her voice, and the way she apparently shut people out. "So you aren't emotionless, you just don't trust people." It didn't take long for him to recognize the person she was, no emotionless person has a dog around them that they care for or at least no happy dog that tried to protect them. "You are a puzzle though, and not much for conversation. There's dessert in the fridge for when you finish the sushi." He intended to walk past her as she seemed to be fine on her own, but before he reached the stairs, the freshmen spoke her name and asked his. This interested Namashi a little, he had not known why she cared for his name, but he knew that if he would have told her that it didn't concern her she would just let it roll off his shoulder. Namashi was too curious about people to simply let the opportunity for conversation just slip away. He stuck his fingers in his bright orange hair and brushed it backwards then leaned against a wall. "Namashi. Any particular reason you ask?" He asked jamming his hands into the pockets of his jacket as he watched the girl, he didn't expect much from her but if he could break her protective wall just a little bit then he could know what and who he was truly dealing with.

We all have our demons, I just own up to mine, can you say the same?

 

[ChisaiMix]

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Carmillia watched as her dog happily ate his food. He didn't waste anytime in eating it all as fast as he could. It was already a couple hours after his normal time that he ate. She turned with a stern evil eye when he said he wanted to make sure she wasn't dying. It wasn't a joke to her. she was dying. She kept herself room saying anything rude at that point about it. She put the sushi away with the one piece she ate. It was too spicy for her. I'm not hungry anymore She heard him spoke about being emotionless. It had nothing to do with trust. It's not that I don't trust people she thought very carefully about making her next move. "It's that I don't want people to get close to me she said. Noting that she didn't say she wanted to be close to people she did, but she didn't want people to be disappointing when she died.

Carmillia picked up her dogs dishes and rinsed them out, dried them off and put them back in the cupboard. She was a little annoyed why he had to ask for his name. Wasn't it customary to ask for a name, especially if they were in the same dormitories together? Then again, by knowing his name, she created a small line in emotional attachment. I just wanted to know who I had to let in their dorm because they were so forgetful to have left their keys in the dorm. Whether it's going to be a common occurrence that I need to give you my phone number in case you forget again she said

Carmillia stooped down low to her dogs level and scratched his ear. She pointed her finger towards her room and said really quietly Medication Her dog stood up and pranced off to her room. Her dog had been trained to retrieve her weekly medication. she had it set up in one of the long Monday to Wednesday, morning to Evening things. He was also trained to grab her airway vest if she was having particular troubles breathing. Her dog came back with it in his mouth. She took it from him and reached for a treat in her pocket. Good boy she said. She opened up the pm box and in it were 12 pills, 8 of them being different. She emptied them into her hand, filled a glass of water and put them all into her mouth and swallowed them.

What did the door do to you she asked. Punch a hole through it? she wished she had half as much energy to punch a whole in the wall. Giving her some sort of sense of accomplishment. she looked int the common room. Where the hell did the piano come from she asked curiously. she walked over it and pressed one of the keys. She pressed one of the 'E's' The key is out of tune she said.

ＯＵＴ ＯＦ ＣＡＫＥ

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Quote:

Knight Ciaran

╔═══════════════════════════════╗
What's the point in making friends,
when your going to
die anyways?
╚══════════════════════════╝
❤Current Mood - Deprressed/Sick/Tired ❤Where am I - Nurse's Office ❤Crush ❤

 

[Knight Ciaran]

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Mixy-Chan

§Namashi Takihara§

Don't judge me because I love violence, we all have our vices...

Namashi noticed the evil look she threw his way when he spoke about dying, apparently she took that a little too serious, it's not like he knew her situation. "You're a liar, or at least you are to some extent. Someone who truly wants no one to get close to them would let people believe what they wanted to believe. I believe you do want people to get close, I just think you have had bad past experiences with people getting close." Of course he was wrong about the last part, but again he had no idea how short her life was or what problems she actually had, he just made assumptions based off her actions and choices of words. He felt a little sorry for the girl, he wouldn't admit because he enjoys his tough guy exterior and doesn't want people to think he is kind or emotional. She began to spoke again, explaining her reason for asking his name, earning an understanding nod from him. "Well if push comes to shove and I don't have my key again I'll just kick the door down to get inside. I don't generally call people unless I need something and I pride myself on not needing anything from any body, that of course conflicts this current moment in time though. You let me in the dorm and I waited hours for you to do so, that was simply because I wanted my hand to heal and breaking down the door would cost money out of my pocket." He looked down at his hand and unraveled the gauze to see the scabbed hand underneath. It was a bit ludicrous for him to just slam his fist into a door simply because he was angry, but he had always had a bad temper and never really was able to control it. Namashi slumped down and sat against the wall, watching the girl point up the stairs and utter the word medication. "Oh....I understand now. That makes perfect sense." He said to her as he scratched the back of his head. It was clear to him now why she didn't really want people close, she was sick probably very sick. It would explain the angry glare she gave him when he spoke about her not dying. He watched her take the many pills before asking him why he punched the door. "Door talked about my mom, called her ugly." He cracked a little smile then stood back up. The girl seemed interested in the piano, more specifically where it came from, she must have gotten here before Asuna and the others. She pressed one of the keys and spoke about it being out of tune, but Namashi was hardly paying attention to that. "How long have you known?" He asked, obviously not speaking about the piano, referring to whatever sickness she had.

We all have our demons, I just own up to mine, can you say the same?

 

[ChisaiMix]

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He doesn't know anything, that's why he made those comments she thgought to herself. don't tell him anything, you don't want people feeling sorry for you she thought again. Carmillia thought about what he said. To an extent, he was right. She didn't want to get close to people, because they might die, just like her parents did. But, maybe by telling him would let him know not to get close.

alright, then I won't take your number, just don't hurt your frail body when you kick the door down, she mocked. she thought again. she should have just taken her medication i her room where no one saw. She gave a huffed smile when he spoke about the door calling his mom ugly. Probably the first smile she made in over a month. She sighed with his next question.

Sh decided that by telling him everything would hopefully push him away from her so he didn't get to close, or that she would get to close and lose someone. I was diagnosed at seven weeks she started off. My body is literately drowning in its own mucus. It covers my lungs, and every other organs in my body. If you don't receive a lung transplant within the next 3 to 5 years I will die. right now I'm dying a very slow death. Even if I get the lung transplant if it takes to long, I'm going to need a liver transplant on top of that She clenched her fist. I have lived with this condition my entire life, spending full years in the hospital because I catch every infection that is passed around human life. Even if I receive both transplants I am still going to be living with this condition and I;'m still not going to live more than ten years. I'm drowning she said. Carmillia clenched her fists and banged the piano as hard as she could.

I should have been the one to die before my parents did she said underneath her breath. She spoke louder. So if you don't want to be friends with someone who is going to die, going to be sick 85 % of this year,don't bother talking to me. she said sourly.

ＯＵＴ ＯＦ ＣＡＫＥ

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Quote:

Knight Ciaran

╔═══════════════════════════════╗
What's the point in making friends,
when your going to
die anyways?
╚══════════════════════════╝
❤Current Mood - Deprressed/Sick/Tired ❤Where am I - Nurse's Office ❤Crush ❤

 

[Knight Ciaran]

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Mixy-Chan

§Namashi Takihara§

Don't judge me because I love violence, we all have our vices...

Namashi laughed as she told him to not hurt himself when he kicked down the door. "I never said don't give me your number, I just said I wouldn't be calling you if I needed something. Other things can occur out of having someone's number." He joked as he walked up beside her, she was a small thing couldn't possibly weigh that much, shorter than him too. He had prepared to say something else but before he could she began spilling out her life story, it appeared that she would die young. So sad. He leaned up against the piano as she went on, explaining how she needed a lung and liver transplant if she wanted to live and even still she would still live a rather short time. She also went on to tell him that her parents died before him, that actually tugged at his heartstrings a little, but his face remained the same. "So your plan is too what? Die alone not experiencing any form comradery? You're afraid of hurting people by passing away and leaving them behind, you're also afraid of people dying on you, so ultimately you don't want friends because you're afraid of pain." He tapped on the piano that she slammed her fist fist on then placed two fingers on her forehead. "You are so droll, looking at life so bleakly. If you're afraid of pain then you can't have fun and no matter how short your life is you need to have fun. I don't give damn if you're going to die tomorrow, if I wanna be your friend I'm gonna be your friend and you can't really stop me. I mean hell I'm free of any illnesses and I still have only a single friend, that's because he's and idiot but still." He took his fingers off her head and walked to the bench of the piano and sat down. "If you don't want friends because you don't like people then that's acceptable, but if you don't want friends because you're afraid of hurting them....you're just selfish." He placed his fingers on the key and began to play moonlight sonata slowly. "I told the owner of this piano that I wasn't musically inclined....I lied. I know very well how to play the piano, the cello, french horn and trumpet, I figured if she knew that I could play one of those though she'd want me to play on stage. That or she'd just insult me and I'd have to make fun of her until she hated me even more than she does now." He looked up at Carmillia and smiled, patting the seat beside him. "Sit, play with me, I'm a bit rusty anyways, its been about three years since I last played."

We all have our demons, I just own up to mine, can you say the same?

 

[ChisaiMix]

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Carmillia sighed. She really hoped that by telling him he would leave her alone, but that didn't seem to be the case at all. Am I not allowed to be afraid of pain? It's easier for me not to make friends with people. I don't want to lose them she said bluntly. you skipped an entire 2 bars she said dryly making a comment at his piano skills. If this person is going to insult your skill, she has every right too she added.

What if I told you I didn't like people, would you still be my friend then she asked. Though obviously it was a lie. He would probably see straight through it. I hate the trumpet she said. But the french horn sounds nice...sometimes she mentioned. What in life could possibly make me have fun she didn't know what would bring her join anymore.

She bit the inside of her cheek and decided that she would sit on the piano bench. She moved her hands down to the low en of the piano and stated to play Arctic Voices (Piano is horribly out of tune). She really hadn't played in the last month sense her parents were killed in the freak work accident. So you only make friends with idiots?" she asked. Because I am not an idiot she said.

ＯＵＴ ＯＦ ＣＡＫＥ

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Quote:

Knight Ciaran

╔═══════════════════════════════╗
What's the point in making friends,
when your going to
die anyways?
╚══════════════════════════╝
❤Current Mood - Deprressed/Sick/Tired ❤Where am I - Nurse's Office ❤Crush ❤

 

[Knight Ciaran]

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Mixy-Chan

§Namashi Takihara§

Don't judge me because I love violence, we all have our vices...

Namashi smiled again as she criticized him on his playing skills, she wasn't wrong though. "Everyone is afraid of pain love, but if you let that fear rule your life, like you are letting it, that makes you an idiot. You don't have to be unintelligent to be an idiot." He responded to her cold statement about not wanting to lose friends. When she sat beside him he smiled again, she appeared to be warming up to him which was nice. "I never said we were friends yet, but everyone wants a friend, at least one. Being alone all the way to the end is easy, but its lonely, having friends is really hard but it's worth the trouble to have that one good friend that you'd kill for." He wanted to be a little nicer to this girl mainly because he was already rude to everyone else so far, but he'd be lying to himself if he said that her imminent fate had nothing to do with his trying to be nice. Her comment about the trumpet was funny to him, Asuna hated the trumpet too, but when she said the french horn sounds nice he simply nodded in agreement. As she continued speaking though, she asked what in life could make her have fun, with a sigh he stopped playing for a moment and looked over at her. "I'm going to start tickling you, I'm not aware if you're ticklish or not but if you laugh or smile in the slightest then you are having a miniscule amount of fun. You'll only know what is fun if you try to have fun, but if you look at everything and see the worst case scenario or you never try it then you won't ever have fun. I sprayed myself in the face with pepper spray once and god damn that hurt so bad I started to cry, but looking back at it now it was funny that I was that stupid to hurt myself because of curiosity." He turned from her and began playing the piano again, this time with her on the lower side, he could hear how out of tune it was. When she asked him if he only made friends with idiots he just rolled his eyes. "I'm an idiot, idiots attract other idiots. Everyone is a little bit of an idiot, including you miss robot, you just don't know you're an idiot yet." He continued his own foul playing, knowing that he was nowhere near up to par with her or Asuna, his skill level was low and it showed as he tried to play. Though as he played he smiled and looked over at Carmilia once more. "To play a wrong note is insignificant, to play without passion is inexcusable. That is a Beethoven quote, referring to music, but it can also be applied to life. To live be afraid of pain is acceptable, but to live your life without taking a chance or risking being hurt is not truly living. You're going to die, we've established this, but everyone dies no matter how you look at it, all we can do is try to make every single second worth living for, but if you're too scared of doing that why are you still here? Why are you sitting by me? Why are you playing this piano?" His playing intensified as he continued to speak with her until it came to a sudden stop. "I think you want to live, I think you want to have fun, and I think you like me, just a little bit." He gave her another big smile then began playing once more, still horribly and hitting incorrect keys.

We all have our demons, I just own up to mine, can you say the same?

 

[ChisaiMix]

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•´´¯`•• .¸¸.•´¯`•.•●•۰• ••.•´¯`•.•• ••.•´¯`•

Carmillia bent her head down and let it sit on the piano keys, making a rather unpleasant sound. Then she produced an equally unpleasant groan. she had received a lot of unwanted counselling. First it was the nurse, then it was the, other guy in the office, and now it was the idiot laying wrong keys on the piano. What will it take for you to stop pulling out the therapy mojo crap on me She started. I have heard too much today and I can no longer process it. she finished.

you're right, I want to have fun, and I want friends. But every friend I have made has either died, because the most friends I had were in the hospital. And every time I have fun it ends badly. And as for why I am still here, I'm silently mocking your playing she commented.

Carmillia had a mini coughing fit. Each cough hurt her head a little more. The moment though he mentioned anything about tickling her she jumped off the bench quickly. No," she said sternly. Don't you dare she was definitely ticklish. And I'm not a robot she stated. "Where did you get that idea

ＯＵＴ ＯＦ ＣＡＫＥ
Need...food...to carry on....

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Quote:

Knight Ciaran

╔═══════════════════════════════╗
What's the point in making friends,
when your going to
die anyways?
╚══════════════════════════╝
❤Current Mood - Deprressed/Sick/Tired ❤Where am I - Nurse's Office ❤Crush ❤

 

[Knight Ciaran]

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Mixy-Chan

§Namashi Takihara§

Don't judge me because I love violence, we all have our vices...

Namashi finally stopped playing and looked at Carmillia, giving her a small nod. "Tell you what, I won't go all therapist on you anymore if you tell me your favorite thing to do. I don't want any lies, I don't want you trying to bs me, and I don't want you to say nothing because everyone has a favorite something." He jammed his hands in his pocket and lightly chuckling at her mocking of him playing the piano, he wasn't very skilled and it showed. "I think you enjoy criticizing me, it's like watching a child play right?" He was curious as to how she viewed his playing. Before he got his answer Carmillia hopped off the bench and away from him, she was apparently ticklish. "Oh now I have to tickle you, you know that right? Telling me not to do something I felt like doing only makes me want to do it more." He began to walk up to her, inching closer and closer with his hands out, though before actually reaching anywhere near her he stopped and pulled his hands back. "Nah, I'm kidding. If I'm gonna tickle you it's gonna be when your guard is down, people have the most fun when they don't expect it." He made his way back to the piano and stared at it for a moment, sighing when he came to a realization. "So when our other roommate gets here, Asuna, I expect she'll be bringing hell in with her. She already doesn't like me, I have a very aggressive and irritating personality. She didn't really want me touching the piano so I suspect that she'll probably slap me once or twice. Just letting you know so you won't be surprised." He moved from the piano and into the kitchen, sifting through the fridge, looking for something to drink other than water, however he found nothing. "I'm probably going to make a grocery run before it gets too late, would you be interested in joining me?" He asked looking back at her with a piece of sushi dangling out of his mouth.

We all have our demons, I just own up to mine, can you say the same?

 

[ChisaiMix]

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Carmillia sighed. He would stop consoling her if she picked something fun to do. She had to think about that. What was going to be fun? she thought back to the pamphlet on the school and the attractions around it. there's a carnival It had been ages sense she had been to one. It was always dirty and housed germs. So she often bi passed it. I believe there open until midnight she said. She felt like she had a little bit of energy left in her.

Carmillia inched farther and farther away as his hands got closer and closer, thankfully retreating in the end. How was she supposed to keep her guard up at all times to prevent being tickled. How will she know you were on the piano she asked. It's not like she'll just walk in any moment she said.

She nodded to picking up food. I too need to pick up some things, so that would be a great idea she said. She felt that she was a little more hungry than before. the animal crackers filled the void for a small amount of time, but she was going to be happier with normal food, that wasn't spicy. Carmilla began coughing into her arm. It turned into a coughing fit. Chiiro sensed this and walked over to his master. Carmillia put her hands on her retriever as a brace until she stopped coughing and could stand up again. I'm good

ＯＵＴ ＯＦ ＣＡＫＥ
I meant food in real life lol My mind is mind farting though....

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Quote:

Knight Ciaran

╔═══════════════════════════════╗
What's the point in making friends,
when your going to
die anyways?
╚══════════════════════════╝
❤Current Mood - Deprressed/Sick/Tired ❤Where am I - Nurse's Office ❤Crush ❤

 

[Knight Ciaran]

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Mixy-Chan

§Namashi Takihara§

Don't judge me because I love violence, we all have our vices...

Namashi nodded his head towards the girl and stood up straight. "Then we'll go to the carnival." He replied with a slightly gleeful tone. He shut the refrigerator door and stretched his arms above his head, letting out yawn simultaneously. When Carmillia asked how would Asuna know that he was playing on the piano he scoffed. "You don't know this girl, she is VERY obsessed about her music. I bet money she'll notice little smudges my fingers made on the keys or something else, I don't know." He sighed and ran up to his room, grabbing his key, phone, and wallet before coming back downstairs to the girl and her dog. "Ok so here's the plan then. We go get groceries, come back here and put them away, head to the carnival till closing time and get you to have some damn fun." Before leaving, Carmillia began to cough lightly at first but then turned into a coughing fit, reminding him that her fate was all too real. He did not provide any visual evidence of him being worried, but before he could ask her if she was fine she replied by letting him know she was ok, bringing a smile to his face. "A step in the right direction, you ready to go?" He asked opening up the front door.

We all have our demons, I just own up to mine, can you say the same?

 

[ChisaiMix]

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•´´¯`•• .¸¸.•´¯`•.•●•۰• ••.•´¯`•.•• ••.•´¯`•

Carmillia began to wonder who this Asuna person was. Was she really that crazy about her instruments. She nodded to the groceries first. I need to do a couple things first she said to Namashi. I'll be right back she mentioned. Carmillia went to her room, unlocking it to get inside. Chiiro followed her. Carmillia left the door open to her room as she went over to her desk. Chiiro come here she mentioned. Chiiro obliged and Carmillia replaced his leash with a service dog harness. allowing people to know that they shouldn't be touching Chiiro while around her. It had a soft handle for her to hold onto. She also chose this particular one as it had large bags on both sides for her to store stuff in like medication or groceries.

From another drawer she pulled out her inhaler let out her air, breathed it in. She gave it a couple minutes before going to the bathroom, bracing herself as she had another coughing fit, spitting out the mucus that came up. she wiped her mouth off and grabbed a bottle of water to drink, basically to keep her kidneys functioning. She packed a couple into her dogs bag.she realized that she probably should have done her vest, but she would wait until she got back to do it. She took a deep breath, coughed whatever was left in her chest and left her room.

Carmillia walked out with her dog, holding onto the handle. Chiiro provided her a forward momentum when her body felt a little tired. I'm ready to go now she mentioned, holding onto her dogs harness.


___________________________________________________


While out for groceries, she picked up things she needed, she had picked up some snacks for her rooms as well as the essential necessities she needed. She also stopped at the pharmacy so she could double check that they had all her medication and the referral from her previous doctor. On her trip she wasn't impressed as there was someone elses service dog hanging around, but it was either a fake, or poorly trained. The dog barked at Chiiro and was very proactive. I absolutely hate people like that she said.

The two of them returned to the dorm and she packed away the groceries that both her and her dog carried back. She even managed to grab something more than animal crackers to eat. She unloaded her dogs bags into the fridge and whatever needed to be put back in her room she put back in her room.

Carmillia changed into some warmer clothes for the evening, especially now that it was dark. She wondered what sort of attractions were going to be around the carnival. So who is this Asuna person Carmillia asked. Is she really that bad Carmillia added. She also asked, more to make conversation. What are you hoping to do at the carnival, do you like the scary rides? she asked. Because I want to go on the scary rides though she wouldn't admit that she didn't want to do them alone.

ＯＵＴ ＯＦ ＣＡＫＥ
There is a carnival thread we can post in

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Quote:

Knight Ciaran

╔═══════════════════════════════╗
What's the point in making friends,
when your going to
die anyways?
╚══════════════════════════╝
❤Current Mood - Deprressed/Sick/Tired ❤Where am I - Nurse's Office ❤Crush ❤

 

[Knight Ciaran]

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Mixy-Chan

§Namashi Takihara§

Don't judge me because I love violence, we all have our vices...

Namashi walked out with Carmillia and together they went to the grocery store. While there Namashi picked up a few essentials for the whole dorm and a few things for himself such as; extra deodorant, bath soap, toothpaste, the usual run around. He witnessed a dog that appeared as a service dog but didn't seem well trained, Carmillia being the one who pointed that out to him by claiming she hated people like that. "Hate's a strong word, I kinda doubt you hate them, but I believe you'd like smack them in the knee caps with a baseball bat." He replied leaving a slight violent image in the air, if he wasn't being rude, flirtatious, or playing therapist, he generally acted violent. After they both returned to the dorm they seemingly put away the items they bought and prepared to go to the carnival. When Carmillia asked about Asuna Namashi just shrugged. "I mean she isn't a bad person, I just gave her a terrible first impression of myself to annoy her. I always need an enemy wherever I go and I usually pick the person I believe to have the weakest will and force them to get stronger. Right now she hates me and she'll either continue to hate me for the rest of her life or grow thicker skin and move on. As far as her instruments go, she got angry at me because I told her that I broke a cello when I was a child. Socially speaking she's a nice person, but being a nice person isn't enough in this world, there was another girl in this dorm I planned on doing the same thing too but she has such a fragile personality that I'm afraid my tactics won't help her at all." He didn't mind talking about himself, he was never afraid of other people's judgement, emotionally he had already shut everyone else out, no judgement could bother him. Carmillia asked if he liked scary rides and he nodded in response. "I do indeed, scary rides are always fun, I enjoy that feeling in your stomach when you're at the top of a really high rollercoaster an it suddenly drops really fast." He used his hand to create an image of what he was speaking of, smiling as he thought of it. "Ok, so groceries done, now it's time for fun. You ready?" He asked, moving to the door just as he did when they left earlier.

We all have our demons, I just own up to mine, can you say the same?