Welcome to Gaia! ::

Realize that the longer she stays in this world, the more she suffers. Remember her as she was, not as she is. Celebrate her life.

That's understandable- but, heroes arn't chosen for their ability, their preparedness or their inability to withstand pain- they are chosen from the every man, the person who is untested, unrefined, and steps up to the plate. Responsiblity which you have not asked for is calling; the best you can do is try to weather the storm, help make the situation better for everyone else.

I do, however, understand that you arn't a machine- your feelings are normal, and everyone, no matter how hard they try to appear otherwise, feels the same in your situation. We're here for you to let it out as needed. Keep doing your best!

Yeah I know I will get through it.

Figures there'd be a post that would make me go against all my logic.

In most matters I find it preferable to keep emotions under control but for a situation such as this you shouldn't have to. I had to be strong for my sister when my mother died because she was young; even now I have to. However trust me you shouldn't do that,not all the time; not even for your mother. If you need to cry you should. But don't let that be the only emotion you show. Let your grandmother know how much she means to you and just try to stay focused on the good times.

In agreement with soaked: your feelings are normal. Just don't cast them aside unless you want to be like a cold heartless machine who doesn't want to feel anything.

That's good that you're sending her a letter.