Welcome to Gaia! ::

I'm sorry I don't post here often enough, and I'm sorry this had to be my first post in awhile. I know some of you knew me and my love for my cat.

I needed to let you all know, especially you, uma since you've known me the best and longest in this group, that we were forced to put Snowy to sleep for good...

After almost a couple of years of putting his relative passiveness to simply old age, we recently discovered that he had diabetes, as well as hyperthyroid syndrome. These factors, coupled with stress and a urinary tract infection he caught sometime at or shortly after his stay at the vet, as well as my family's financial situation and Snowy's uncooperativeness and age, told us that the best thing for him is to end his suffering.

Despite all this, he still went out feisty, which maybe made it even harder. He did sleep peacefully and painlessly, though.

My greatest regret is not being able to afford some sort of parting ceremony for him, his ashes or a burial.

I haven't cried this hard since, well, since the last time I visited these boards on a regular basis. I tried to find other solutions, I searched as hard as I could, but all things pointed to either a slow, painful death of heart ache and loneliness in a shelter, or a slow, painful death here even in the comfort of his own bed.

I already miss him so much, when he used to bite me, when he used to wake me up in the evening to either let him out of my room or to raise the venician blinds so he can watch the outside world. The times he'd mew non-stop so I'd give him his wet food. The way he'd hide his face if he made a mess on the floor in his later years. Even the way he came home from his younger days, when he was fit enough to pick fights with small birds, and other cats.

I love you, Snowy. I'll see you on the other side.


P.S. Thank you for entertaining me here.

RIP Snowy, I feel so bad. I feel like I knew Snowy, since it's been so many years that I have known you had Snowy. I am so sorry. I know what you are going through and how hard this has hit you. There are just no good words for me to say. I'll just say that Snowy is in peace though and sometimes what we have to do is really hard but you did the right thing so that your dear pet would not have to suffer. *hugs*

Thanks, guys. Yeah, I'm a lot better now.

It was pretty bad at first, I mean...I couldn't stop crying. Some might think it's a little silly, "it's just a cat", but to me he was very important. It's still hard for me to accept he isn't around anymore. I still look down at his favorite spots to lie down to make sure I don't step on him.

But later that day, in the evening, I just talked and talked with my mom about all the stuff I was holding in the whole day. All my doubts, all the guilt, and then all the good times and silliness and after that it was just easier to sleep. "You'll feel better if you talk about it" is really true. I guess there's a reason why cliches become cliches. Well, some cliches, anyway.

I also felt a little better, though a little guilty, when we started talking about the future, about the possibility of new cats. But we agreed that this will always be Snowy's home, Snowy's territory, his castle; he'll always be our mascot, our 'guard dog'. Always.

Thanks again for listening, guys. And I'm sorry this had to be the way to 'catch up' again; I know I haven't talked to you in a long time, especially you two, uma and Zedd.

Thanks, Jodelien.

In the end, it really was the right move. Still, I can't help but wonder some times, ya know? And it's keeping me up a little. I keep having to tell myself that it was the right thing and that it's done, and all I can do is be a better cat owner in the future to make sure that kind of situation is as least likely as possible.

There are several things I can look back on that I myself did wrong as an owner that in the end, might have directly or indirectly lead to the situation we were forced in. It's tough that I had to really learn it this way; I probably always knew, but it obviously never had quite the impact it did until this past Sunday.

It's hard. I don't think I'll ever completely get over it, but I've gotta learn to live with it. As they say, the sun will rise again, and life goes on.

~nods~ yeah, if anyone ever said that to me, I'd probably deck them or something >_>

~nods~ thanks, Sarah

Thanks, everyone