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 Posted: Fri Aug 14, 2009 1:15 am
This is really my first time writing my characters story down, so be critical, but also be nice please. Tell me how I can improve my writing perhaps rather than why it sucks. The first chapter I wrote in three parts. Its about how my character found out who she is. ^^;
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Posted: Fri Aug 14, 2009 1:18 am
Part 1: The Dream
Footsteps echo through the streets of Tokyo. A young woman with red hair can be seen coming from the shadows. Her clothes tattered, but with a vague resemblance of high price fabric. A red coat around her, sinched at the waist. Her red eyes look up at the sky. "If I could only remember who I am..." The moon, glowing bright calms her as she thinks back over her memory. It doesnt go farther than a few weeks. All she recalls is being found on the street by a nice couple and brought into their home. She sighs and continues to walk.
Later that night, as she walks through the same streets, she hears a scream. A cry for help. "Please, someone save my daughter!" She runs to the sounds of the people and stops suddenly. "Wh..what on earth is that?!" As she speaks the creature turns to her and a wicked smile crosses its lips. It drops the child, who runs to her mother, then lunges for the red haired woman.
A small pen shaped object appears floating in front of her face. She reches for it and everything seems to slow down around her. As she grabs it she shouts something, but cant understand her own words. She transforms into a red and white sailor costume with a red skirt. As she introduces herself, the words again come out mumbled and incoherent. She takes her stance and fires an attack. A ball of energy flies toward the creature. Before it hits, she wakes up. She esits up in her bed in a cold sweat. "Its that dream again!" The same one she had had since the couple took her in. "What does it mean?"
Part 2: The senshi appears
Ruby walked through the streets of Tokyo. The cool air blew through her red hair. She stared up at the moon with her red eyes. Something about it was familiar. If she could only remember. Suddenly there was a scream from a few blocks away. "Someone help my daughter!" This seemed familiar..like she had lived it..or dreampt it. She ran toward the scream. A creature was holding a child hostage. What could she do? She tried to fight the creature but it was to strong. before she knew it, Ruby was lying on the ground near unconscious.
A Pen like object appeared. It look familiar too. She was drawn to it as it floated there just within her reach. She grabbed it. Her strength came back and she stood up. "Stop right there!" She pulled the pen closer to her and closed her eyes. "Ruby Cosmic...make...UP!" In a flash of red and fire, there she stood. A young senshi in a red and white sailor suit. The bow was red, and the pen had formed into a broach which was now secured to the bow and holding a dark red gem. "I am Sailor Ruby! Senshi of Fire and Premenition!" Premenition? Had she forseen this? "In the name of the Cosmic Kingdom! You shall not Triumph!"
The creature turned again and headed toward the young Senshi. "Ruby...Cosmic..." A clue energy ball formed in her hand. "CURSE!" It flew toward the creature and did some major damage. But the thing kept comming. "That should have worked..." She closed her eyes to concentrate and tried again. Nothing. No attack at all. "What a Gyp! I cant even attack this thing." The creature heard this and smiled. I forged ahead toward the helpless girl. Just as it got within a few feet, The senshi tried again. This time, a new attack came.
"Ruby...Ultimate..Cosmic..." A red aura ball formed in her hand. It grew by the second. "...ATTACK!" This time the ball hit the creature and destroyed it. It also destroyed the buildings in the area. Sailor Ruby stood there a moment. What on earth was happening? Who..or what was she? She looked around. No one seemed to be happy about her being there. In fact, the crowd was angry for the collateral damage. Shouts came from the crowd. "You better pay for that!" "You could have killed someone!!" "Why did you interfere?!"
She ran from the yelling until she couldnt hear anything anymore. Tears fell from her eyes. What was she? Why had she done anything? She couldnt begin to answer. And she didnt want to try.
Over the next few days the news covered stories of the new 'villian' who had nearly destroyed the town of Tokyo. "The evil Senshi of Premonition" they called her. Could she really be a bad guy? The dreams didnt help. They just dhowed her the same scene over and over. She couldnt stop seeing herself destroy what had become her home. She had no choice. She had to leave. She packed her things the next morning and ran until she was lost. She hoped this would stop the dreams. Now she wouldnt have a reason to transform.
Part 3: All is revealed
The wind rustled the leaves of the trees. The sun shone through the branches. Ruby felt a connection somehow to all of her surroundings. After walking for days through the wilderness of Tokyo, never losing her bearings, she sat in a cleared out area. She allowed her breathing to slow and closed her eyes. Pictures started to flash in her head. She wanted them to stop, but needed to see them again. She relived her dream, and the eirily similar battle that followed. Had she predicted it? Detail by detail it was the same. Her red hair whiped around as the wind got stronger. She payed it no attention. Niether did she acknowlege the young woman a few yards away, as she seemed to mean no harm.
She sighed and decided to rest awhile. She layed down and drifted immediately. Images flashed in her mind. They were different than before. This time, she found herself in a palace. She walked through the halls as though she kew them well. As though she had visited, maybe even lived there once. Two figures appeared in the distance. Their bodys were merely shadows. Ruby tried to get closer, but the shadows never became people. Why couldnt she see them? They began to talk.
"What of our daughters, my love? And the one on the way? They need their father."
"Im sure you will raise them right until my return" a male voice responded. "And Sophie has Ruby to watch over her."
What? Had he just said Ruby? She needed to know more. She tried to speak, but nothing came out. She had no choice but to listen.
"Can you not just tell Queen Serenity of our new arrival? Im sure she will allow you to stay."
"You know I cant do that. That would mean allowing my brother to fight in my stead. You know he's still weak."
The womans head tilted down. The image cleared enough that Ruby saw a tear fall from her sillouette. The man reached over and touched her cheek. They embraced, then kissed.
"Now where are my big girls? I want to say goodbye."
Two small figures, who had appeared to have been hiding came out and ran to the man. Both could clearly be seen. The taller of the two had shoulder length dark red hair with odangos, and a small tiara set in the middle. Her dress was old victorian style. Red, with black lace trim. A tear ran down her face. Could that have really been...but it couldnt be...Ruby?
The other was about half her size. couldnt have been much younger however. Maybe a year or two. She had black hair that fell just below her ears. She looked as though the blue dress she wore, which was simillar to the older girls, was uncomfortable to her. She also had a small tiara on her head.
The man bent down and hugged the two girls.
"I will miss you, my princessess. Be good for your mother."
In unison, they spoke. "Yees Papa"
She woke up. The sun had set behind the trees and it was nearly dark. The woman who was there before spoke up.
"So, do you remember me now Ruby?"
Ruby sat up and cleared her mind a second before speaking. "Hello, Sister."
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Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2009 5:07 pm
An Autumn afternoon
Heels clicked as they sped toward the High school. The cool air blew red locks of hair around bundled shoulders. Ruby had a purpose this time. Her face was calm but focused. The trenchcoat in a dark red served only to slow the cool winds, but it didnt matter. Not now anyway. Her red eyes stared at the building ahead. She knew Ai was still there. Smoking no doubt. It never seemed to matter what Ruby thought of the habbit. There was always a ciggarette in her 'seconds' hand.
She reached into her pocket and pulled out a black scarf. It was more of an ornament than anything. A favorite present from a friend. As she walked up the stairs to the High school, she tied the black silk scarf around her neck. She hadnt been to this school for what seemed like months. She used to pick her sister up just outside the office. It seemed Sophie was always in that office for something. But now, now she had her attention on Ai. She had a one to pick with her closest friend. After what seemed like hours of looking, Ruby came to the courtyard, or rather to an area overlooking the courtyard. She saw the girls as they all rushed out of their classes. They gathered in groups and talked and laughed. It was all that could be heard for a moment. She saw a young, tan figure with long tangled hair step outside. She watched as the young girl walked to the boundries of the schoolyard, and kept watching as the young woman reached into a pocket on her school uniform. "Ai, you just cant quit, can you?" she said to herself.
Ruby turned and backtracked as she headed toward the young woman. She heard giggling come from the direction she was headed. Another of Ai's fangirls I'd imagine. A smile grgew on Ruby's lips for a moment then faded. "Baka Ai!" She quickened her pace as she got closer. She noticed that her friend was trying to light her cigarette. The winds were in Rubys favor today. The young woman tried once...twice...three even four times. Time after time she had no luck. Ruby steped up beside Ai and snaped her finger, which created a small flame like that of a human BIC. She reached infront of her friend and lit the cigarette, causing it not only to glow at the tip, but to incenerate itself.
"I thought I’d asked you to quit? How would it look if my Second died of lung cancer?” Ruby said as she put out her flame and lowered her hand.
She watched Ai glance sideways at her. Her eyes almost golden in color stared Ruby down a moment. Then she heard Ai laugh. It wasnt normal laughter, but had a tone to it. "You wouldn’t let me die, boss. Not when half our team has healing powers.”
Ruby did not laugh at this feble joke. Instead she frowned. How could her own protege think like that? Her face showed signs of the darkness that was a part of her. Her father was, afterall, prince of a dark, and evil planet at one point. It was clear that never left her family in peace. Instead it lurked in the hidden creveces of the mind, only to surface at the right times.
“That will not stop you from dying. Not by a long shot. You know this.” She glared at her companion as she waited for a response. Something to show she knew she wasnt immortal.
“Nothing will stop me from dying eventually.” Ai said,seamingly giving up the search for another cigarette, at least for the time. “We are all, sadly, mortal. Even our senshi powers can’t change that fact.”
Ruby was dissapointed in this answer. She expected more from her friend. Especially from the one she made her number two. Ruby stopped walking, the wind whipping her long coat around her legs and making the collar flap wildly. This was condusive to Ai noticing the tall figure that stood behind Ruby.The woman winked at Ai, letting her know she recognized she had been spotted. Komatsuzaki Dazi, Daz to most of Ruby’s team of Gemstone senshi, was also known as Sailor Gold. She was a specially recruited soldier sent from Ruby’s parents to protect her during her mission on Earth. Daz had come to fully accept her role as a Guardian, and was often seen standing at her leader’s side, a silent and calming presence. Ai could be seen nodding back in a greeting.
“Despite my warnings, you’ve gone ahead anyway and taken matters into your own hands. Didn’t I ask for all of the team to communicate any trouble with enemies?” There was stern reprimand in Ruby’s voice.
Ai sighed. “I handled it. It was only one monster. Nothing unusual.”
Ruby suddenly grabbed Ai’s left arm, ran her sleeve up to her elbow, and squeezed firmly on the lower arm. Ai hissed and clenched her fist, the pain searing up through her body like lava. “Nothing unusual? Receiving such an injury is unlike you, Sailor Garnet: Guardian of the first stone.” On her lips, the title was an insult.
“J-just where the concrete rubbed the skin off when I fell…” Ai hissed through clenched teeth.
Ruby’s palm became warm, and then excruciating. The pain that was merely burning became suddenly white hot, and Ai’s yelp was the only thing that broke the contact between the two females.
“Just a concrete rub? I control fire. I know a burn when I see one.”
“Fine, fine, whatever, it’s a burn. I just…I just didn’t think that one monster necessitated the formation of the entire team.”
“No, not the entire team would have come. I know Nanami was out that way, as was Dazi. And Seiji and Viola are in town, they would have helped.”
“I didn’t need…”
“Just because you’re my Second doesn’t make you infallible. You have an entire team of senshi at your disposal. I am finding more and more to join us every week. There is no excuse for anyone fighting alone. You should be more conscientious about the image you present to other, less experienced fighters.” Her tone lightened at the end from chiding to something with a more pleading note in it.
"Yeah" Ai seemed upset and dishearted that someone had told Ruby what had occured. It was common knowlege that the only reason Ruby would have known anything is f someone reported to her. She, however want one to give up that sort of information.
Ruby calmed herself for the time being. She had plans to make an example of Ai. Letting the others see what happens when they think they don't need help. She survayed Ai before nodding and beginning to walk again. Ai hesitated a second before following right along with her leader. Ruby knew she was thinking about going to the gym, but she had other plans. Ai could always work out later. Ruby headed for the hideout of the Gemstone Senshi.
Ai followed one step behind and one step to the right of Ruby. Daz followed silently, checking her naturally long stride to fall in two steps behind and one step to the left of their leader. In this way, three of the gemstones’ powerful protectors strode down the back streets of Autumn Tokyo.
((Some of this content came from the talented hands of Sailor Garnet and I give her full credit. The rest is simply meant to show Ruby's point of view. thanks Garney))
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