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 Posted: Sat Jan 29, 2011 12:34 pm
Snow: 8D -doesn't feel like a freak when it's snowing oh MAN- <333Luca: *mopes under a tree, shivering. he's not sure he likes the snow anymore* ...Snow: -feels as if a weight might have been lifted from her person until she see's Luca... Oh yes. She moved over to him quietly; her mask on her face.- "Hello Luca..." -wants to ask if he's ok.- Luca: *startled out of his thoughts by someone approaching him, Luca snaps his head towards the herla... then immediately looks away when he realizes who it is. his voice is somehow even quieter than usual* Ah... hello, Snow. *what with the way he's so pointedly looking down, he could very well be talking to the actual snow...*Snow: -starts to get nervous and she paws at her name sake slowly. Trying to think of something to say to him- "How have you been Luca?" -lowers her eyes now as well not sure where to look at the moment-Luca: *doesn't want to be here talking to her now, wonders why Snow ever approached him, wishes she wasn't here and hates himself for even thinking that, is she doing this on purpose? feels the sting of tears in his eyes as so many muddled emotions take him, though he tries to keep his voice steady* F-fine. *he pauses to take a breath, he can't cry now, this is pathetic, she's done nothing wrong, why make her feel bad, just act natural* ...And you?Snow: -can tell he's upset and she doesn't blame him. She would have probably been even worse then he is right now if Calix would have come and talked to her as if nothing had happened after wards. She took a step closer and then stopped mid step. before retreating that step and stepping back. Just leaving the same distance as she had been- "I'm feeling much better now Luca... After we had that talk... And... Well after we cried... It felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulder. Like a black cloud that had been hovering over my head was suddenly removed by the sun. I feel much lighter... Happier. And I owe it all to you. Thank you Luca. I love you for that."-She told him point blank. the ice of her mask retreating back to make more of a head band framing her face. Despite numerous tries; sweet words; harsh words; hurtful words and caring words. No one had been able to make her feel better. To make her feel as if she really could get on with out him. But Luca had.-Luca: *he lifts his head a bit at hearing Snow's movement, though he still doesn't look her in the eye. Luca feels a stab of shame and embarrassment and just plain hurt when she brings up that night... that mistake, but he stays silent, listening. it's getting even harder to hold back his tears now, his throat aching from choked-back sobs. he clenches his eyes shut when she tells him he loves her, reeling at the confession. he should be happy, but it hurts, it hurts so much because he loves her too, but it's not the same...* I... I-I'm glad. *although he's trembling, still on the verge of tears, he lifts his head and looks off into the distance, not looking at Snow. a long silence stretches out. he really is glad, but he can't say it the way he wants to, can't say he loves her back because they're just friends and it hurts* Snow: -moved closer to him now and she laid down across from him rather then next to him just looking at him; her eyes slightly closed becuase she wasn't sure what to do or say here.- "I'm sorry I hurt you." -whispered-
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Posted: Sat Jan 29, 2011 12:35 pm
It was like that night all over again. Luca hated that he cried so easily. He always did, he never grew out of it like he had hoped since fawnhood. But when he and Snow had finished crying, lying in the dark in silence, eventually parting ways as though nothing had happened... Luca had wandered in a daze, eventually arriving to where he knew his parents lived. Perhaps he had been looking for his mother. Luca hadn't seen her in a long time.
Luca instead found his father. He had cried in front of father plenty of times, in fact no one made him cry more... But this time, when Luca broke down in front of Lucio, it wasn't because he had been yelled at or threatened. And when Lucio reacted in anger, it was almost even comforting. Because this time, when Lucio demanded to know why the hell Luca was crying, it was out of concern.
Funny how Luca had returned, feeling as though he had reverted to fawnhood, wanting to be comforted by his mother, and instead ended up speaking to his father, adult to adult. Lucio was livid that someone had hurt his son, and although he scoffed when Luca had explained what happened, he listened. He even tried to help. Granted, his first response was to threaten to kill the b***h, which Luca hastily assured was definitely not necessary, but after that, Luca had seen a different side to his father.
So now, with Snow right across from him, Luca thought back to all he had discussed with Lucio. He found himself fortunately regaining his composure, his breathing steadying, blinking away the tears. He didn't like this tension between them now, and as he had vowed to his father, he would fix it. And it would hurt, but it would be better for them in the long run.
"You didn't hurt me, Snow," Luca finally managed to look at her again, his wide eyes vulnerable despite how surely he tried to speak, "I should be saying sorry. I... I didn't mean to dump all of this on you. I was being selfish," he finally faltered now, casting his eyes downward. How was he going to explain this when he wasn't even completely convinced of it himself? Even now, he felt his heart swelling with adoration for her... But no, he took a breath as he gathered his thoughts, "I... I spoke too soon. I don't have a lot of friends... In fact, we hadn't even seen each other in so long, I don't even know why I suddenly just..."
He wasn't making any sense now, was he? He had just one simple thing to say, maybe I don't love you after all, but Luca couldn't bring himself to say it. Because he didn't want to believe it. But Snow didn't need his foolish infatuation weighing her down. If she already had someone else, who was he to get in the way?
"Maybe I was just desperate," he whispered, the closest he could get to lying.
Snow shook her head and wiggled her way a bit closer to him her body still on the ground wrapping her neck around him as she did so. "No Luca... You weren't being selfish at all. You were being brave; and sincere. And sweet and kind and charming. Please don't apologize for being you and being honest. I always want you to speak your mind around me ok?" She asked him slowly moving her head to nuzzle him gnetly. "we're friends aren't we? Where would we be if we couldn't tell each other things like this.." And she really did mean that. She wanted him to tell her everything. She wanted to be able to be there for him. She wanted him to never be afraid to talk to her becuase of what she might think or what she might say.
She didn't believe him when he said that he'd spoke too soon; Luca was too nervous to speak his mind like that so suddenly. She knew he'd thought about before he'd said it. Knew he'd really considered it. She looked up at the sky for a moment. Just trying to think of what to say next. Just wanting to comfort him.
"Why would you have any need to be desperate enough to want to be with me." She said with a light chuckle. "Truthfully... I hadn't been so hung up on Calix. You and I would have been marvelous together. We probably still could be... I just. I would rather like to wait. If only for a while. To make sure that this sudden mood swing of mine is permanent. There is nothing I would regret more in the world Luca; then making you unhappy. Becuase I was unhappy."
Luca leaned into Snow's hug tearfully, listening to how she described him and feeling none of it. But he finally felt comforted when she went on to say they could talk about anything... She had said the same thing when they had first visited the museum, way back when. Why couldn't they be like that again? Now, their relationship was so painful and confusing... Had he ruined it, by becoming an adult and thinking he knew what love was?
No. Luca knew he wasn't happy as a yearling. He didn't want to go back to those days. Because now, even if she didn't love him the way he loved her, they were closer than ever. And he still, of course, had that wondrous admiration for his ice witch... Though, even now, he could never admit it. Luca felt himself flush with embarrassment at such silly fawnish thoughts.
He pulled himself both away from those thoughts and from Snow as she next spoke, bowing his head as his face further reddened. You and I would have been marvelous together. We probably still could be... He felt a guilty glimmer of hope, but told himself not to read so much into it. Snow was letting him down gently. She was too kind.
"I guess... I'd be so desperate to be with you because you're amazing, Snow," his voice was a timid murmur as he took a page from her book, describing what he loved so much about her, "You're so kind and patient and I've never felt so comfortable with someone before. Thank you. You've... really helped me grow up, Snow," he looked up with a shy smile, "I feel freer than ever, being able to speak my mind like this."
But Luca's smile disappeared as quickly as it appeared, serious again. So Calix was her old flame...? "...I understand. Waiting would be best. I... I should say the same. There is nothing I would regret more than forcing you into... something you're not comfortable with, Snow..." He felt glum again, feeling silly for saying something like that when he was the one so inexperienced. He could very well be the one rushing into this... Once again, Luca thought back to the naive, timid yearling he was. And Snow was the strong, experienced adult. An unreachable figure.
Snow was doing her best to make Luca feel good again She really did enjoy talking with him; and she would just absolutely hate herself if she was the reason for him to be upset at all. He had been becoming so light and happy. She'd hate if he were to end up.... Like her. She tried to think of ways to lighten the mood... Had she ever played a game with Luca before? She stopped and thought for a moment. No she hadn't. And to be honest she'd only ever really played games with her sister Chalice. She wondered if Luca had ever played games with anyone before... She smiled scootching in a little bit and getting to her feet; taking a small step closer to Luca and lowering her head just enough so that her nose was oh so close to touching his own. She held his eyes in her own and when she was close enough she whispered. "Hey Luca."
When he responded; or even looked up she would touch his nose with her own giving him a small layer of frost. "FREEZE TAG YOU'RE IT!" She squealed childishly before bounding off and through the snow. Giggling madly. It had been a long time since she'd played this. She hoped Luca knew how to even play it.
Lost in thought now, Luca hardly reacted to Snow's movements... that is, up until the hind was right in his face. His eyes immediately snapped into focus, gazing into her own bright baby blues. Face reddening, Luca panicked, wondering that his friend was doing. Was she testing him? After all of this? At her whisper, he opened his own dry mouth to croak out a response--only to lurch back and stumble with a powerful sneeze at the sudden iciness coating his now bright pink nose.
After a few shakes of his head, stringy hair tangling, Luca stared in bewilderment at Snow's sudden change in attitude. Watching the adult frolic like a fawn, it took a moment for her squealed words to register... Of course, tag. Iskra and Jaelyn had even invited him to play a few times. Granted, he never did join in, but he figured he got the gist of it... A smile broke out on Luca's face as he moved forward, chasing after Snow, long scarf trailing after him.
"Snow, that's not fair! You can't just surprise me like that!" Luca didn't even realize he had raised his voice, far from his usual soft tones, high and merry as his laughter came out as visible plumes in the cold air.
Snow gave a maniacal laugh when he chased after her; being smaller then anyone else helped her make turns faster and weave better. When he told her it wasn't fair she barked back another laugh. "You're only saying that becuase you're IT!" She teased him. Remembering when her sister had played this with her; Snow had always been it back then. It felt good to be the one running away! She continued her sprints; trying her best to not get caught but slowing if at any time she needed to in order to not loose him either. Working her way further and further into the woods; farther and farther away from home. Getting lost with out even realizing it.
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Posted: Sat Jan 29, 2011 3:03 pm
Although Snow was much faster than Luca had expected, and he wasn't quite as agile as they entered the forest, he kept a lock on her as he darted past trees and jumped over obstacles. "Not for long!" Luca shouted after her; banter was part of the game, right? But he didn't actually seem to be getting any closer to Snow, as he kept having to slow down to make sure his scarf didn't catch on anything. There remained a steady distance between them, and that would not do. Dropping back into gallop, to a walk, to a crouch, Luca moved to hide, and hopefully lure Snow back and jump her when she least expected it! Hidden behind a cluster of tall bushes, Luca stifled a mischievous giggle, having too much fun to realize he had no idea where he was now...
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Posted: Sun Jan 30, 2011 10:48 pm
Snow was extremely lucky that she didn't know anyone with a mion that could knit; otherwise as her scarf would have grown with her running through these woods would have grown increasingly harder. And when Luca disappeared from her line of vision she quickly realized it and made a complete turn about. Looking around desperately for him. "LUCA?" She called out fearing that she'd lost him some how. Retracing her steps in an attempt at finding him. Looking around nervously with eyes wide in slight terror.
"LUCA???" She called out again hooves stamping at the snow as she got closer and closer to where it was that he was now hiding. Not that she knew that was where he was hiding. Having no idea that was where he really was. And soon beginning to figure out that she had no idea where SHE was either as she looked around herself... What had happened? They were... She was... She was lost. And no one knew it!
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Poisin Ivy Josephine Vice Captain
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Posted: Tue Feb 01, 2011 2:49 pm
Success! At hearing Snow calling his name, Luca knew she had noticed his absence and drew farther into hiding, though ready to spring as soon as she was close enough. He listened carefully, her voice and steps growing louder as she approached, any moment.... Now! Luca rushed out of the bushes, making as much noise as possible to spook her (revenge for his nose) as he aimed to bump her and finally have her It. Springing away with boisterous laughter, Luca's tail lashed wildly behind him in delight. Is this what he was missing out on in his childhood? "You're It!" He felt a sort of victory, being able to cry out those words, as he danced away a good distance, not dashing off yet, wanting to enjoy Snow's reaction before the chase, obliviously giddy.
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Posted: Sat Feb 05, 2011 9:57 pm
"NO LUCA DON'T LEAVE ME!" Snow cried out when he started to dart off her tail between her legs and her whole body shivering madly. She was petrified of being lost in these woods and the idea of not being able to find her way back to her family positively made her want to burst into tears. "I don't know how to get back!" She called to him; thinking that he would... Even if she didn't. Even though he was just as shy as she was. Even though she doubted he'd ever been any farther out than the museum. She still thought that he would know his way back. He had to. Becuase otherwise they would be lost.
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Poisin Ivy Josephine Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat Feb 05, 2011 11:34 pm
All of Luca's newfound playfulness left him as he heard Snow cry out, obviously terrified. Like a splash of cold water, he was suddenly hit with guilt for even just laughing a moment before, shivering as he stopped his prancing and turned around. Did she really just say...? Ears pulled back, his own tail between his legs now, Luca cautiously approached, forcing a nervous smile and laughing weakly."Snow, this is a dirty trick..." Although he tried to convince himself that she was just fooling, trying to lure him close enough so she could tag him, his eyes betrayed him as they nervously darted around, as though prying for an exit from this deep forest he wasn't familiar with...
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Posted: Sat Feb 05, 2011 11:57 pm
Snow shook her head and moved closer to Luca when he asked her if this was some sort of a dirty trick. She wished it were. But the fact that she had no idea where they were was starting to paw at her mind. The forest they'd just been playing in was suddenly dark and dangerous. She pressed into Luca's side needing that comfort and felt the tears well up in her eyes. "Luca how are we going to get back?" She whispered to him hiding her face into his scarf. What if she never saw any of the people she loved ever again?
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Poisin Ivy Josephine Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun Feb 06, 2011 12:43 am
Okay, this definitely wasn't just a ploy now. Luca didn't dare move away when Snow moved to his side, his heart now pounding in his chest--terror, from terror, and he hoped Snow couldn't feel it. But no, he had to be brave, for her, another test of courage! Luca drew himself up, looking around the forest, trying to keep a cool head and act the hero... but he felt hopelessness take him just as much as it had taken Snow. All of the trees looked the same at all sides, choking them, the darkness pressing down... Luca suddenly felt claustrophobic, and he moved to nuzzle Snow, both to comfort her and himself.
"Let's try... retracing our steps," he muttered, trying to envision their trail in his mind as he cautiously moved forward, thinking the suggestion felt lame, not wanting to believe they were really lost. It's not like he had admitted it aloud, though it had apparently been silently agreed upon... Look at them, panicking, all thoughts of playing tag lost. Why could they never have a peaceful time together? Luca thought wryly, then privately, maybe he enjoyed the turbulence Snow just seemed to bring? This hind just made him feel a whole range of emotions, had just allowed him to experience so much... Oh, but now wasn't the time to wax poetic!
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Posted: Tue Feb 08, 2011 5:28 pm
Snow did notice how fast his heart was beating but she didn't say anything; her's was working just as fast and just as hard. She appreciated that he wasn't whimpering or crying like she was though... Luca was much braver then her it seemed. She was just a bit comforted by that fact, which wasn't unusual for her. She smiled at the nuzzles and for a brief second realized he was now comforting her instead of the other way around. If she hadn't still been terrified of the realization that they were hopelessly lost; she would have wondered when he had matured so much? Tough she did no know she probably wouldn't be able to see him as the young yearling she'd once known. When he suggested retracing their steps Snow nodded her head and started to try and think of which way she'd run and started to move away from him but not so far that she thought he wouldn't be too far away from her. Not out of reach if she needed that physical comfort.
"O-Ok..." She whispered quietly suddenly that same old child she'd always been. Nervous and unsure of herself. Barely able to talk and the chill of her body becoming even more apparent, even in the snow laden forest. "I think we went..." She stopped and cleared her voice trying to raise it a bit. "I think we went this... Way!" She said though really it wasn't the right way. Though of course how would she know that?
After all; how could you be lost if you already knew the way you'd come?
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Poisin Ivy Josephine Vice Captain
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Posted: Tue Feb 08, 2011 6:47 pm
As Snow moved forward, Luca made sure to stay close behind, watching her with concern, suddenly seeing his best friend in a new light. It hadn't fully occurred to him before, but Snow was really afraid. She was suddenly so timid now, when all this time, since he had first met her, Luca had looked up to the hind as a sure and soothing presence. He even saw her as an almost mythical being, an ice witch. But since their friendship had grown, Snow had become more human—or rather, herla—to him. Even now, strangely, Luca felt a connection to Snow...
And not to mention, here he was, having actually made a suggestion she was following. As though he was in charge, like a hero, trying to get them out of the forest. He wasn't even crying yet (always an inevitability for Luca)! When had their roles reversed? Despite shivering from a sudden chill, Luca allowed himself a small, if not somewhat guilty smile. It quickly disappeared, however, when Luca remembered his place, ears pricking forward to catch Snow's words.
"Alright... I'm sure we'll be out soon, Snow. Then maybe we can continue our game? You're still It, of course..." he joked, gently brushing her with his tail as he moved, trying to reassure her despite how pessimistic he felt. Actually, he wasn't so sure he'd even be able to continue with tag if they somehow got out of these woods... Luca just wanted to curl up somewhere familiar and safe, feeling vulnerable in the deep forest.
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Posted: Sun May 08, 2011 10:27 pm
Snow nodded her head at Luca's reassurances; why wouldn't she want to believe him? She wanted to get out of here as soon as possible... Because the thought of what her mother might be thinking was starting to go through her mind. When would she notice she was gone? When would she start to get really worried? Would they be out of here before that happened? What if they never got out of here? What would happen to her mother? What would happen to her father? Would they just assume she'd died? She felt her lower lip began to quiver again and she closed her eyes tight; fighting back a small ball that seemed to be forming in her throat. "Times like these I wish I had a guardian."
She confessed to Luca; moving into him when she felt his tail brush against her. She didn't really talk about when she wanted a guardian; it made her feel like she was just whining; or that she was weak, or that it was really very stupid; even though she knew that wasn't necessarily the case.
"My sisters... Have always had them; they say it's like a voice that helps you through your hard times... I wonder if... if we had a guardian right now... Would they help us out of this forest?" She whispered it. Not really sure if this was a stupid question or not. Looking up and over towards Luca with clear uncertainty in her eyes. She looked away and back towards the earth; before lifting her eyes to the path in front of them... It seemed to be getting darker... And were they traveling at a very small and very slight incline? No... No this all seemed very flat. Or so she assumed.
She felt her ears go down in her anxiety; pressing tight against her head as her chill began to grown making the already fallen snow crunch underneath her feet and become hard formations every place she stepped. Normally it would have just melted but in this frigid weather it was only staying frozen.
"But... At least I'm with someone I can trust." She told him; trying to think of the bright side to all of this.
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Poisin Ivy Josephine Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun May 08, 2011 11:56 pm
From behind his ever-present visor, Luca's eyes glanced worriedly over to his companion. Snow's comment had caught him off-guard, and he instantly thought back to their conversation about Guardians so long ago, in the museum. He had been worried then, that not having a Guardian had made him abnormal. He had lacked what most herla had, and felt lonelier and more distanced for it. But since that day, since Snow had admitted she also had no Guardian, well, Luca didn't think so much about it then. He had been comforted.
But now, as he listened to Snow , Luca felt... He felt a bit hurt, and maybe even jealous that Snow would rather want to rely on a Guardian instead. And for that thought, he felt guilty, and chided himself, stupid... Of course a Guardian would be a better guide. And it's not like he was doing much to get them out of this forest. At her question, their eyes met briefly, and for a split second Luca was terrified the petite hind could hear and feel what he was thinking, and he quickly looked away, nearly stumbling as he swallowed nervously.
Um. Right. The question. Trying to get over his mounting insecurity, finally processing the question enough to stammer an answer, "It... Um, it would be nice to have a... a Guardian, but..." Pink eyes cast downward, Luca suddenly felt the same terrible loneliness he had as a yearling. No, he wasn't quite over it after all. And neither, apparently, was Snow. Remembering the uncertainty in her eyes, Luca drew a tight frown, a hint of bitterness in his voice. "But, I guess we have to do things on our own. Maybe as a test. To... prove ourselves. We... We can't just rely on others forever..."
Luca blinked, mortified at feeling tears suddenly prickling in his eyes. It seemed he was talking more to himself than to Snow now. Shivering, Luca glanced at his friend's hoofprints, a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. He wasn't doing a good job of reassuring her at all, was he? Luca felt he may really start crying now, and immediately hated himself for it, clenching his eyes shut as his steps slowed. Growing rage instead began to replace the hopelessness he felt, though just as quickly as he felt the venom, Luca's eyes snapped open in surprise at Snow's comment.
He looked over at her, lifting his head, and even managed a small smile that quickly grew with adoration for her. So she wasn't fed up with him. She hadn't given up on him when he was doubting himself. And he realized he felt the same for her. Hey, being stuck in a dark forest all alone with the hind of your dreams wasn't completely terrible, though of course he would never say so out loud.
Ears pulled back in secret shame, Luca smiled bashfully, hardly able to meet Snow's gaze. "Thank you, Snow. I... I could say the same thing. I'd be a wr-wreck without you, honestly... I-I mean, here! In the forest. Not that it's a good thing we're l-lost. Um." Realizing he was blathering like an idiot, Luca quickly pulled away, eyes darting and face burning with very obvious embarrassment now. There, nice moment ruined.
He felt guilty, hoping Snow didn't catch what he was suddenly very acutely aware of. Oh, but it was a small slip, he was making a big deal out of nothing, wasn't he? Not that there was anything to make a big deal of... Oh, he never should have said anything. Luca couldn't do a thing without making a fool of himself, could he?
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Posted: Sat May 14, 2011 4:07 pm
If Snow had been more out going as a fawn; or at all really; she might have caught his little slip up; but luckily for Luca she wasn't. She honestly just considered it a little slip of the tongue; a result of being scared and nervous, just like she was. When he pulled away from her she didn't try to close the gap... That had only pushed her first love away. first love? No he wasn't her first love. He was still her only love... Why would she think of him in the past tense like that? Wasn't she still in love with him?
She sighed and let her head lower. What did it matter anyways? There was no chance of winning him back; he'd avoided her like the plague. All of her older friends had; some of her family had as well. She was too focused on having lost him; on wanting to win him back; she'd deluded herself into thinking that there still might have been a chance with him, she'd focused all of her attention and pinned all of her happiness on him. And everyone else had known what an idiot she was for even thinking that way. She wouldn't have wanted to be around herself at that point either.
She's pretty much distanced herself from everyone; and everyone had eventually let her do it; except for her mother and father of course... But here was Luca; happy and willing to be by her side. She couldn't help but think back to when he'd first admitted his feelings for her. She wondered how long it had taken him to work up the courage to have told her that... She couldn't help but think back to Calix and the fact that he had to tell her his feelings for her... Fake feelings it had turned out. She could still remember the joy she'd felt at hearing those words; and the heart break she'd felt at the words that would come in the months that followed.
She looked over at Luca while he was trying not to look at her and wondered how truthful he had been. And then she wondered why it even mattered to her. What should it matter? Luca was just a friend to her; a very good and comforting friend that was much younger then she was. Although she had been much younger then Calix as well... She shook her head lightly and sighed. She could feel herself starting to get angry; and she hated that. She didn't like being angry over things she couldn't change; she didn't like feeling betrayed; and she didn't like feeling hurt. She closed her eyes and swallowed the lump in her throat. She was lost in the woods and here she was thinking about something she couldn't do a damn thing about. She needed a distraction; she needed to think about something else.
"Luca; what's your family like?" She asked him; trying to think of something new.
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Poisin Ivy Josephine Vice Captain
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