|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Sat Mar 26, 2011 9:33 pm
 Lorina :: *stands quietly, thinking about exactly why she wanted to do this. her milky eyes open and close sightlessly as she thinks of how she agreed to be this boy's mother, and how she found this to make her wonder things she hadn't thought of in ages, though blame could also fall to the enigmatic hart Kherty, who understood her pain and saw the same reasons in helping Eigengrau as her. to save him from the horrors they had to endure, and make him a better herla for it* "Eigen, you've grown since I spoke to you last, have you not?"
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2011 9:09 pm
The young, silver-haired yearling watched his mother silently, very uncharacteristic of him. Eigengrau was known for his theatrics when it came to other yearlings, his accusing anger when it came to his father, but with Lorina? Somehow, Eigen felt the need to be on his best behavior around the ghostly blue hind. Now as he looked up at her with both adoring and fearful blue eyes, grey hooves shuffling nervously in front of him, the yearling wondered if he was going to be scolded. Had Kherty told her what a terrible child he has been?
When Lorina finally spoke, Eigen immediately perked up, eager to impress her. "Oh yes, mother! I'm one of the biggest yearlings!" He reared up and stamped his hooves as though trying to prove his hoofsteps were heavy, "And my fur is the softest and prettiest!" He moved up against Lorina's side now, nuzzling his grey fur into her smooth skin, "And my hair has grown so much longer! It still moves!" He giggled and looked up at her own coiling hair, proud to have something so distinct in common with his adopted mother, surely proving their genealogy. Surely.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Mar 29, 2011 3:37 am
Lorina smiled faintly when Eigen touched her. His fur was indeed soft, and he still sounded like a much younger version of herself. Was she not once eager to please? Was she not once desperate for pride from her own parents, who ignored her even when she was deemed a hero amongst them?
"That's good Eigen," she said, reaching down to try something, a motherly gesture she always longed for her own mother to give to her. Something as simple as nuzzle, which was slightly awkward with her inability to see just where she was, though she's certain it was his head. "You remind me so much of myself when I was young," she admits to him.
She wonders again about the other hart Kherty. "Has Kherty been kind to you?" she asks the grey yearling suddenly.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Mar 29, 2011 7:01 pm
Eigengrau felt a thrill at his mother's gentle (if not somewhat uncertain) touch; this was the affection he craved. Not wanting the contact to end, he quickly nosed her back, so happy he had impressed Lorina enough to earn the gesture, and further elated to learn that they were even more alike than just hair! Looking up at her with a smile, the yearling opened his mouth to ask more about her childhood, then quickly snapped it shut at her question and pulled away as though her skin suddenly burned.
Narrowing his eyes suspiciously at Lorina, Eigengrau mulled her question over. Was he in trouble after all? Or... was Kherty in trouble? Yes, it would be so easy to tell Lorina everything the tattered Delta had done wrong, what a terrible father he was, hell Eigen could even turn on the waterworks and really play it up, winning Lorina all to himself. But, as he stared at his mother, wondering why she had asked that... He realized he couldn't lie to her and he couldn''t very well blame Kherty completely.
Casting his eyes downward, sagging warily and feeling scolded after all, Eigengrau told the simplest truth: "...We fight a lot..."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Mar 29, 2011 7:27 pm
Lorina nodded solemnly, and turned the other way, as if she was half expecting the despair-ridden herla to approach her. She remembered when she first met Eigengrau, and how harsh he had been with the young fawn. "I see." she said simply, such an odd phrase coming from her. She's never seen anything in her life.
"It's rather frightening to fight with someone you care about," she murmured. "I don't speak to Kherty very often... perhaps I should." She turned back toward Eigen.
"Were you about to say something before I spoke earlier?" her eyes closed and opened slowly. He pulled away from her rather suddenly, so she supposed Kherty was something of a sore topic to the boy. Maybe another time, she could ask the questions that lingered in her mind.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Mar 29, 2011 8:52 pm
Like it was some great offense, Eigengrau immediately lifted his head to dispute the fact, then, after a pause, looked down at his hooves again. No, she was right. He did care about Kherty. He just wondered if his father felt the same. The way Kherty treated him like a burden at best, and a nuisance at worst... It was frustrating. No wonder they fought so much, when what the yearling really wanted was just to feel like a good son.
Eigen inhaled shakily and tried not to cry, feeling a twinge of jealousy. He didn't want Lorina talking to Kherty. Why did she want to speak to the hateful hart now? Was he in trouble after all? A whimper escaped Eigen and he clenched his jaw to suppress any more, throwing his head from side to side trying to shake the tears away. He always hated when he cried real tears. They were so hard to control and if there was one thing the troubled yearling hated, it was being out of control.
Trying to calm himself, not wanting to cry in front of his mother and glad for the subject change, Eigengrau answered, "What... what did you mean, when you said I reminded you of... of you, when you were younger?" As he watched her now, he couldn't imagine it. Eigen saw himself as a rotten child, always obnoxious and getting into trouble, and to think his mother could be like that... Is that what she meant? And... what had happened to change her? His mother seemed so serious, no, sad, though he would never tell that to her face, and Eigengrau was suddenly terrified to think that maybe all adults were just so blue, and not just literally. Would the same happen to him? In fact, it seemed like it was happening already, with how moody Eigen was lately...
The yearling felt he might start tearing up again and cautiously moved forward, telling himself it was just because he wanted to better listen, when really, maybe he wanted a reassuring nuzzle again.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Mar 30, 2011 3:34 am
Lorina frowned as she listened to the noise Eigen was making, they sounded like he was about to cry. Had she really upset him that much by asking about his relationship Kherty? Her ears pinned back a bit, she didn't want to hurt the boy...
His question makes her pause, thinking. "I meant, that when I was about your age, I felt the same way you do." She felt him move forward again, and beckoned with her tail slightly.
"I was born blind, and because of it, I am not sure my parents ever loved me," she began, her eyes downcast and sullen. "Not once did my parents try to help me when I struggled to walk, and not once did they tell me they were proud of my achievements." A bitter smile appears on her face as she remembers. "And so, I was desperate for their attention, so eager to please anyone who would bear me the attention and help I wanted..."
She pauses again, breathing deeply. "I think... that is why I let myself be used by the herla I had once considered my best friend. How I somehow got to this point..." Lorina said quietly.
"I don't want you to end up like me. I can tell you my story, and maybe it will help you avoid becoming like me. I care greatly about you, my son," she whispered, attempting another motherly nuzzle. Not just for him, but for herself too.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Mar 30, 2011 9:21 pm
As he listened, Eigengrau drew closer, eventually moving to his mother's side and burying his face in her shoulder. The yearling was horrified by what his mother described, sickened, guilty... His breath hitched in his throat and it was so hard trying not to start crying, especially now, but he wanted to seem grown up for his mother..
"...But then, what's wrong with me? Why doesn't Kherty love me?" Eigengrau clenched his eyes shut and felt guilty for getting some tears on his mother's beautiful skin, but he didn't want to leave her at all now. The orphan hated his mother's parents for what they did to her, or rather, what they didn't do, and was terrified by how right she was. They were so much alike, but Eigengrau felt ashamed. "You're perfect to me, Mother! Even if your parents didn't love you, I do, and we're your family now..."
The yearling shuddered when his mother nuzzled him again, part trying to stifle his crying, part guilt and anger and fear, and when she called him her son, the confirmation he had wanted to hear for so long, somehow he didn't feel better at all. He had suddenly so many thoughts running through his head and he felt so overwhelmed, Eigengrau only looked up and tried to focus on his mother, looking at her with wide blue eyes overflowing with tears, dampening his fur.
"Tell me, Mother. I won't interrupt, promise," he sniffled, part trying to convince himself too, because there was so much the yearling wanted to tell her now, all his thoughts and feelings and fears fighting to burst out, but he wanted to know Lorina's story, for he wanted to know as much as he could about his mother, realizing how selfish he had been... Barging into her life, demanding she be his mother and then going about bragging that he had a family as though that meant anything when he hardly knew his parents. She was trying to help him now, and Eigengrau knew he had to listen.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Mar 30, 2011 10:19 pm
Lorina felt the wetness of the yearling's tears on her skin, and briefly felt a flash of her hydrophobia. But they were tears, nothing painful that could kill her again, and belonging to this young herla she had adopted as her own.
"There's nothing wrong with you, Eigen. Kherty is a broken hart. I don't know what happened to him, but he is worse off than I am, emotionally..." she remembered from their first meeting, the way he understood her. Probably, they had similar experiences. She smiled a little. "That means a lot to me, Eigen. You have been a better family than one I could ever ask for."
She wrapped her tail around his legs, breathing deeply. "I have not told this story to anyone before. A lot of this likely will not apply to you... but there is still lessons to be learned," she began. "As I said before, I was born blind. My parents were unhelpful, distant and cold. I found a friend in another fawn my age, and he assisted me and taught me how to walk properly. We became..." She paused, remembering how she once trusted her life to this same herla she was describing. "We became best friends. We shared all our secrets and hopes and troubles...
"I grew older, and one day, something strange happened." Lorina's tone became a bit more somber. "I dreamed. I had never dreamed before, and I could hear and smell and taste everything as though it was really happening. It was a chain I believe, that I found later that day... the same as it was in my dream. It happened more, after that time, and I brought aside my friend to tell him," she said. "He told me I was special for having such powers, that I could save lives, and I believed him. He and I made a pact, that I would tell him my dreams, and he would help me figure out how to make the best of it. In time, these... prophecies made the two of us heros..."
Lorina paused, twitching her ear toward Eigen, listening for his reaction before she continued.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Apr 05, 2011 9:17 pm
Still sullen, but at least glad that he could make his mother smile, if even for a little, the yearling sniffled and blinked away the rest of his tears. In fact, he managed a small smile himself when he felt Lorina's tail coil around his slender legs, and leaned into her, closing his eyes as he listened.
Eigengrau thought of his own friend, Hyakinthos, and how he struggled to walk. His eyes snapped open as he realized he never really helped Hya, did he? Oh good Guardians was this a test he had failed? Eigen nearly whimpered as he looked up at Lorina nervously, about to prod her about it, but dropped it, along with his gaze, scuffing his hoof on the ground. Well, Hyakinthos ended up learning just fine on his own, right?
Shamed, the child kept silent, realizing maybe Hyakinthos wasn't his best friend after all. He didn't tell his hopes and secrets and all that stuff to anyone, really... He wasn't even sure he had any. Eigen sighed and, hearing the change in his mother's voice, gave her a reassuring nuzzle, looking again at her with concern.
As she went on with her story, the realization dawned on Eigengrau and he straightened up, regarding Lorina with awe. Prophecies?! His mother was a hero! The yearling couldn't contain his smile as he bounced on his hooves now, excited for the ghostly hind. "This is amazing, mother! Why didn't you ever tell me you could see the future?!" However, just as Eigen was about to foolishly ask if she had ever dreamt about him, the yearling quieted and stilled himself, remembering what his mother had said. She was used. Loathing for himself and dread for what was yet to come crept into Eigen as he tensed, murmuring his questions now. "...I-I'm sorry. I said I wouldn't interrupt."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Apr 05, 2011 10:09 pm
Lorina shook her head. "Because I no longer can see the future," she answered simply.
She lifted her head and continued. "I was a hero for a while, yes. But something had changed within my friend. He no longer spoke to me as though I was something dear to him, but rather as an instrument to his own gain. But he was still my friend, and surely it was just because of this new responsibility, I had kept telling myself." She frowned again. "Then, I dreamed of the arrival of a hind. The whispers of those in my clan spoke of her beauty, and a subsequent dream had them mourn her death. An attack. I told Ve-- my friend, and he... used this to his advantage to win this girl's heart, saving her."
She sighed a little. "He changed. I wasn't important to him anymore, though he still would listen to me if I had a prophecy for him. One night though, a night I cannot forget no matter how hard I try, something awful happened. I awoke screaming, the taste of mud in my mouth, still feeling the ghostly abrasions of rocks and with the screams of dying herla echoing in my ears. I dreamed of a mudslide... one to occur very soon."
Her eyes lidded, and she spoke a little more softly. "When I told my friend, he pushed me aside to go get that girl, to bring her to safety. He told me to go tell everyone else to evacuate. I went to the center of the clan, and woke everyone up. I told them what I told my friend, of the mudslide that was going to occur soon...
"They stood still for only a few moments, but it felt like hours. And then, they all panicked. I could hear them running and stomping, and suddenly they were all going one direction, the opposite edge of the valley I suppose, and I followed after them. A deafening crash, and the heavy smell of mud and dirt filled my nose." Lorina started to shake a little bit, remembering. "I could hear them falling under the mud, screaming, the sickening crack of breaking bones, the squeals of young fawns stepped on. I stepped back, horrified and -- Eigen, please don't think badly of me -- I ran... I was so scared, and confused. My prophecies never did this, they always saved them, and I didn't know what else to do.
"I was close to the edge of a forest when I smelled him. I turned my head, and he spoke to me. Just two words. 'She's dead.' And my heart dropped. 'I'm so sorry.' I whispered to him. He brushed up against me and the sadness in his voice was so pitiful. He asked me to come to the lake with him, so we could talk. I smiled and nodded." Lorina could feel her heart racing, just remembering. If only she had known back then, she could have just saved herself... "We waded to the middle of the lake, and were quiet a long time, before he spoke. 'Lorina, I loved her.' It was the first time he'd used my full name, so I perked my head up. 'I loved her... and you killed her.'"
Lorina paused, taking a shaky breath. She couldn't cry in front of Eigen. "I tried to tell him I didn't mean to, but I barely got the first two words out before he... he pushed me under the water. He let go of me enough for me to get my head out before he began to scream at me. 'YOU KILLED HER' he screamed, over and over, and he kept holding me under the water."
She was crying now, small tears on her cheek, her voice wavering a bit. "And I tried to get away, tried to get him off of me. I resurfaced again, and he whispered to me that he had to kill me for it. All the water rushed back, and I could feel it crushing me and I realized then that he was actually going to do it. My friend was going to kill me and there was nothing I could do to stop him."
She whispered the last line. "I'm certain I died then. If not literally, figuratively. Why else did I feel so hollow and broken if I weren't dead? But I woke up on the shore of the lake, trying to get all of the water out of me before it tried to kill me again... " Sudden anger filled her voice." And that ******** traitor I once called my best friend, I hope he's dead. If he's not dead I'm going to kill him."
She stopped when she remembered her audience. "Are you frightened, Eigen?" she asked calmly, a hint of sadness returning to her voice. She did something awful and she knows it, but she doesn't want her family to think less of her for it.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Apr 06, 2011 5:20 pm
Eigengrau wasn't surprised to learn that his mother lost her prophetic abilities after all, though it was admittedly still sort of disappointing... Pushing the thought away, he continued listening to his mother's story, heart sinking when Lorina described how her friend had changed. Eigen was disgusted by the thought of his mother being treated like just a tool, though the boy himself did the same thing without a second thought. He furrowed his brow and pricked his ears when Lorina slipped, revealing some of this "friend's" name, as though ready to hunt the herla down if he just found out the identity.
But Eigen's growing anger was replaced with horror as Lorina next described her dream, and the subsequent disaster... Seeing her shake at just th memory, he snuggled into her side and nosed her, whispering in reassurance, "No, mother, I would never think badly of you..." And it was true. Eigengrau himself shuddered at the image of the mudslide, and knew he would run, too. His mother was surely braver than he would ever be, she couldn't even see as she tried to escape. At that thought, he managed a small, proud smile for his mother. She was still a hero to him! But the child's faint smile didn't last long, turning into a worried frown as the dread began to creep in again.
Eigengrau's ears strained forward, catching the shakiness in her voice, then quickly pulled back as he gasped, Lorina describing the attack. As she began to cry, so too did Eigengrau, though his were tears of anger. Again, he thought of vengeance, and in building anger he opened his mouth to reassure his mother and vow to find justice, when she lashed out first. Her fury was so raw and sharp it completely shook Eigengrau out of his own rage, instead instilling such fear he had never felt before. The yearling didn't think his mother was even capable of anything other than sorrow, and he pulled away with a whimper, immediately deciding he didn't like this side of his mother at all.
Cowering, he hesitated and actually had to think for a moment of what his mother asked. Yes, he was frightened, very much so, but certainly didn't want to admit that to Lorina. Especially not now; she had actually opened up and told her past that had haunted her for so long, so completely changed her, something she had apparently never shared with anyone, not even Kherty! Overwhelmed, the silver yearling suddenly rushed forward and buried his face into his mother's shoulder, small frame wracked with sobs as he tried to answer Lorina.
"I'm frightened for you, mother. I don't want you to be dead, I don't want you to be angry, it wasn't your fault! You didn't kill her! It wasn't your fault!" He tried to go on, tried to apologize and comfort and thank her even, but now the yearling could only break down into bawling, horrified by the story and so shocked. Eigen never would have guessed his mother had been through something so traumatic, though it seemed obvious now, and seeing his mother in such a different light... it shook him to the core.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Apr 06, 2011 6:21 pm
Lorina listened. She had scared him after all, and she nuzzled him. "I'm sorry. I don't feel very dead anymore. And I can try not to be angry. He ruined my life..." She felt the tears from Eigen, but they didn't bother her. "But I am going to protect you. So that nothing like that can happen to you. Kherty and I are going to make sure of this." She had calmed down, though hearing her own words retell the story had made her want to wish she could forget it all. "Don't worry about me, Eigen."
She paused, feeling the fawn's hair wiggling against her skin. He was something she could save, and though he claimed it wasn't her fault... how was it not? If she never had the visions, would she be back home, happy and alive? She shook her head a little. There was little reason to dwell on maybes. She had this life now, and she had this young herla who depended on her and...
"You have to promise me you won't tell Kherty this. If he is to know, I will be the one to tell him," she says. She wasn't sure if she would tell him. At least not soon. "It can be a secret between the two of us."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Apr 07, 2011 7:06 pm
Eigengrau kept silent for a long while, keeping his eyes closed, resting against his mother, focusing on her words and just trying to calm down. Finally, he looked up at Lorina, trying to look determined and not like he was just blubbering.
"...I'll protect you too, mother. Nothing like that will ever happen again, not while I'm around!" He smiled at her and puffed up with pride, the usual cheeky Eigengrau returning. "I promise I won't tell. I really meant it when I said I would be the best son!" The yearling was actually very curious as to why Lorina didn't want Kherty knowing, but as he saw it, this was another thing he had over his father... Eigen felt a selfish sort of pride for that.
But as he considered the gravity of what had just happened, the fact that this was something so huge he had learned about his mother, something he would have to keep from even his father (there weren't supposed to be secrets between parents, were there?), the boy's voice lowered. He spoke seriously but sincerely, looking into Lorina's milky white eyes with his own bright blue, wanting to tell her now as though afraid he would never get the chance again. "...I love you, mother."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
