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 Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2012 6:49 pm
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~I can only Imagine~
As she died, so died her soul.
She was only a mist, a fragment of whole.
She clutched at her stomach and cried and screamed.
'Going crazy' she'd whisper, 'maybe' she'd scream.
Now lost in her mind, and lost without it
She tugs along in her chains
Pulling them makes her feel heavy
Stuck there she is, not knowing where to walk.
The door is wide open, sometimes it shocks.
The photos, the glory, the work that she did,
ten minutes later she was fed to the pigs.
'I tried I tried' She couldn't stop crying,
If she'd say 'I hate you' she would've been lying.
Shes stuck, shes stuck
She was never warned
She turned to say thanks but they were already gone
She gets it, no ones returned.
Shes lost and lonely,
left to be burned.
~Lost Problems~
Withdraw, withdraw!
The little bird calls.
Still on my windowsill sits that little pill,
a glass of water
and nothing to sew.
I'm lost, I'm lost!
Calls my mind.
A girl with no direction,
she fell behind.
I miss the feeling,
and the corruption,
Though in a few years I'll lose all my function.
I don't care if I die,
I know that it hurts.
Just give me a few years to show that it works.
Im pleading, I'm begging,
Just let me have this.
All I want is ana's last kiss.
~Watch me~
Off goes your crown
and your head in the wind
You tried to be perfect
'Pretty and thin'
They laughed in your face
It was a 'you wouldn't dare'
It was a challenge,
a change of my fate
Now to get out
Its much to late
I'm lost without you
I wish you were near
I don't even fear you
For you are my dear
Come closer, come closer
and give me a hug
tell me im pretty
make me feel snug
~Deadly Red~
This is a story
The story at hand
You can say harsh things,
but you'll never understand
Its a story of a girl
The girl you called 'freak'
A girl who died early
she was afraid to come clean
~We're all blue~
She writes on her skin
Not with a knife,
But a marker to write her sins
She writes her story
She tries to share it with the world
She fell on her a** as her story unfurled
She covered her notes
She tried to lie
Now shes a freak
and as a freak she died
~Paper Thin~
The girls aren't real,
in the pictures
How do you feel?
How do you feel when you fail?
Cracking nearby mirrors,
cracking your nails.
Screaming your heart out,
but your lips don't move.
You're going to die a sheet of paper,
exactly pencil thin.
What do you do?
What will you win?
~Near Death~
The end is near
Yet so far away
Its hard to wait,
But it takes time to pay
Every inch,
every bone to feel this way
Until you're air
and quite impaired
With perfection comes disaster
and the disaster is you
Yet you still smile ana in the face
Yet you still stay true
~untitled~
My skin feels tighter
I notice the change
It sinks in slow
I fell out of range
Point my flaws
Poke my mistakes
Take all you can take
Take my stomach,
my wretched eyes
Give me willpower
and a disguise
Help me be strong
and love my reflection
All I want is to know I've hit perfection
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Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2012 7:06 pm
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Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2012 7:06 pm
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~Addressing my Friends~
Part one: Addressing two sisters
A little hard work and a good deed, true
always seemed to please you two
Through all the tears I've seemed to smile
and through all the pain and tastes of bile
For you two girls I'd walk a mile
I've put my life in your hands
I trust you both with my whole person
I trust you to make me a half
I trust to see you when I need you so
I trust you'll love me and help me glow
This is all the letter concludes,
My darlings, my dears, and even my dudes.
~Addressing my friends~
Part One: Bestfriend
You drive me insane,
actually quite nuts
Everything I say makes you fuss
I know I'm not funny,
but now I'm freaking unwound
You always try to keep me up and bound
I'm a silly s.o.b.
I say stupid s**t
You're my best friend so put up with it.
Stop treating me like a little kid,
talking down to me, this is why I hid.
I just got quiet,
I can't even breath
You suck the breath right out of me
Don't get me wrong,
I do love you so
Your my sister,
but I'm not your ho
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Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2012 7:07 pm
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Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2012 7:09 pm
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I don't know much about poetry to point out things to make it better. That said, I can tell you the things I loved. There's a lot.
I loved the theme in a few about the girl who was a freak. There are so many ways to go about that, and while some poems were similar in this theme, each was tugging at my heart in a different way. I appreciate that the same theme was written in different ways, with different points. It's a serious one, and one I'm glad you'd write about. It deserves attention, this feeling of freakishness, the despair that comes with it, the misunderstanding. It's a theme I know a lot of people connect with, anyway, though unfortunately these people are usually isolated from each other...
S'why writing brings people together, I suppose.
I loved the rhymes in some of those poems. It wasn't overwhelming or forced; it was all very organic and helped with the flow of things, made it almost musical to read, which, in some cases, made it all the more emotional.
The pacing, too, seems to naturally flow. I think you've got a natural talent for this.
You mention Ana in two places, and it makes me curious as to who she is. Is it a lover? A friend? You? Perhaps a character you've created that you really connect with and love?
I really can't wait to read more from you.
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Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2012 7:09 pm
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Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2012 7:14 pm
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xVoldie I don't know much about poetry to point out things to make it better. That said, I can tell you the things I loved. There's a lot.
I loved the theme in a few about the girl who was a freak. There are so many ways to go about that, and while some poems were similar in this theme, each was tugging at my heart in a different way. I appreciate that the same theme was written in different ways, with different points. It's a serious one, and one I'm glad you'd write about. It deserves attention, this feeling of freakishness, the despair that comes with it, the misunderstanding. It's a theme I know a lot of people connect with, anyway, though unfortunately these people are usually isolated from each other...
S'why writing brings people together, I suppose.
I loved the rhymes in some of those poems. It wasn't overwhelming or forced; it was all very organic and helped with the flow of things, made it almost musical to read, which, in some cases, made it all the more emotional.
The pacing, too, seems to naturally flow. I think you've got a natural talent for this.
You mention Ana in two places, and it makes me curious as to who she is. Is it a lover? A friend? You? Perhaps a character you've created that you really connect with and love?
I really can't wait to read more from you.
The reason I am so big on this topic of 'not fitting in' is because of 'ana' as you mentioned. Ana is short for Anorexia, as Mia is short for Bulimia. I have battled with both and I've recently just lost all my habits and its driving me insane because im not used to living normally anymore. This is why my poems are themed as they are. I'm trying to understand how to fit in while being myself and being happy with myself.
And with the flow of my poems I do like to hum while writing to make sure everything flows right. I've been doing that since I was a wee one learning to read.
Edit I forgot to mention my new poem from the series im working on ~Addressing My Friends~....I'm pretty much writing letters to my problems more then about them, but in the first one when I mention "Two Sisters" that is Ana and Mia. When I have the problems you kind of see the disorder as your friends and it escalates from there, they almost become human to you. |
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Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2012 7:16 pm
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Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2012 7:19 pm
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ByeByeFluttershy The reason I am so big on this topic of 'not fitting in' is because of 'ana' as you mentioned. Ana is short for Anorexia, as Mia is short for Bulimia. I have battled with both and I've recently just lost all my habits and its driving me insane because im not used to living normally anymore. This is why my poems are themed as they are. I'm trying to understand how to fit in while being myself and being happy with myself. And with the flow of my poems I do like to hum while writing to make sure everything flows right. I've been doing that since I was a wee one learning to read.
I'm very glad you're out of those habits. I really feel personal to those things in your poems, though, now that I know. I feel much more connected. Personifying them is a very powerful mechanism, and I really like that you've done that. In a way, it is like an intimate relationship with those things, for people who are anorexic or bulemic.
I know you don't really know me, heh, but I'm glad you're fighting it. Not every girl goes through that, but more than should be normal have to battle feeling ugly and battle themselves with the idea of fitting in. I hope you can find yourself, and in that way find a way to be happy with who you are.
Heh, I have a tendency to hum tunes while I read poetry. I always just thought it was 'cause I was kind of childish and wasn't used to poetry. << Glad to see I'm not alone! But I can definitely see how that's a way to see if it flows right. *nodnod* |
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Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2012 7:25 pm
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xVoldie ByeByeFluttershy The reason I am so big on this topic of 'not fitting in' is because of 'ana' as you mentioned. Ana is short for Anorexia, as Mia is short for Bulimia. I have battled with both and I've recently just lost all my habits and its driving me insane because im not used to living normally anymore. This is why my poems are themed as they are. I'm trying to understand how to fit in while being myself and being happy with myself. And with the flow of my poems I do like to hum while writing to make sure everything flows right. I've been doing that since I was a wee one learning to read.
I know you don't really know me, heh, but I'm glad you're fighting it. Not every girl goes through that, but more than should be normal have to battle feeling ugly and battle themselves with the idea of fitting in. I hope you can find yourself, and in that way find a way to be happy with who you are.
Heh, I have a tendency to hum tunes while I read poetry. I always just thought it was 'cause I was kind of childish and wasn't used to poetry. << Glad to see I'm not alone! But I can definitely see how that's a way to see if it flows right. *nodnod*
I do try to keep my writing as personal as possible just so the reader can get the feel of my work. I love hearing that my work has touched someone or pulled their heart a bit. It means I've done what I was mean't to do. |
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Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2012 7:29 pm
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ByeByeFluttershy xVoldie I don't know much about poetry to point out things to make it better. That said, I can tell you the things I loved. There's a lot.
I loved the theme in a few about the girl who was a freak. There are so many ways to go about that, and while some poems were similar in this theme, each was tugging at my heart in a different way. I appreciate that the same theme was written in different ways, with different points. It's a serious one, and one I'm glad you'd write about. It deserves attention, this feeling of freakishness, the despair that comes with it, the misunderstanding. It's a theme I know a lot of people connect with, anyway, though unfortunately these people are usually isolated from each other...
S'why writing brings people together, I suppose.
I loved the rhymes in some of those poems. It wasn't overwhelming or forced; it was all very organic and helped with the flow of things, made it almost musical to read, which, in some cases, made it all the more emotional.
The pacing, too, seems to naturally flow. I think you've got a natural talent for this.
You mention Ana in two places, and it makes me curious as to who she is. Is it a lover? A friend? You? Perhaps a character you've created that you really connect with and love?
I really can't wait to read more from you. The reason I am so big on this topic of 'not fitting in' is because of 'ana' as you mentioned. Ana is short for Anorexia, as Mia is short for Bulimia. I have battled with both and I've recently just lost all my habits and its driving me insane because im not used to living normally anymore. This is why my poems are themed as they are. I'm trying to understand how to fit in while being myself and being happy with myself. And with the flow of my poems I do like to hum while writing to make sure everything flows right. I've been doing that since I was a wee one learning to read. |
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Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2012 7:34 pm
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Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2012 7:39 pm
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PandorasJackinthebox ByeByeFluttershy xVoldie I don't know much about poetry to point out things to make it better. That said, I can tell you the things I loved. There's a lot.
I loved the theme in a few about the girl who was a freak. There are so many ways to go about that, and while some poems were similar in this theme, each was tugging at my heart in a different way. I appreciate that the same theme was written in different ways, with different points. It's a serious one, and one I'm glad you'd write about. It deserves attention, this feeling of freakishness, the despair that comes with it, the misunderstanding. It's a theme I know a lot of people connect with, anyway, though unfortunately these people are usually isolated from each other...
S'why writing brings people together, I suppose.
I loved the rhymes in some of those poems. It wasn't overwhelming or forced; it was all very organic and helped with the flow of things, made it almost musical to read, which, in some cases, made it all the more emotional.
The pacing, too, seems to naturally flow. I think you've got a natural talent for this.
You mention Ana in two places, and it makes me curious as to who she is. Is it a lover? A friend? You? Perhaps a character you've created that you really connect with and love?
I really can't wait to read more from you. The reason I am so big on this topic of 'not fitting in' is because of 'ana' as you mentioned. Ana is short for Anorexia, as Mia is short for Bulimia. I have battled with both and I've recently just lost all my habits and its driving me insane because im not used to living normally anymore. This is why my poems are themed as they are. I'm trying to understand how to fit in while being myself and being happy with myself. And with the flow of my poems I do like to hum while writing to make sure everything flows right. I've been doing that since I was a wee one learning to read. Wow, I understand the poems on a whole different level now...I was once bulimic, I still suffer from the organ damage and the heart problems that came with it. And my best friend as a teenager literally starved herself to death...we would literally compete to see who could eat less and who weighed less, and unfortunately she didn't survive the "competition"...I had to go into a facility for people with eating disorders for a while to shake the habit, and I'm still in counseling regarding Kara's death. I wrote a piece about an encounter after her funeral as part of my challenge journal, in which her name, coincidentally, is also "Mia" for a similar reason. It hurts me that I CAN'T live 100% normally anymore--I did irreversible damage to my body. But I still have my mind, and a much deeper understanding of life than many people have. I still have my imagination and my writing. And I am finally learning how to understand, forgive, and love myself as I am, largely through my writing. I hope that you find the same comforts that I have found, and that you find yourself again. I think it's really powerful that you were willing to open up about that here, and I admire your strength. I'd put an emoticon here, but there aren't any that strongly describe admiration, so I'll just leave that part for you to fill in.
I'm so sorry to hear about your friend, I've heard about people doing the competition thing before but never tried it. I'm glad to find other who understand what I'm going through, to many times have my mom told me 'your a healthy weight..you dont have an ed'...to me that was the same as a 'your to fat for an ed'.
edit I understand not being able to live normally anymore too, though my problems aren't physical they are more psychological. And thank you so much for your admiration. It does mean alot to me that people do understand how much it takes to write these things..other then just sitting down to the computer |
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Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2012 7:46 pm
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ByeByeFluttershy xVoldie ByeByeFluttershy The reason I am so big on this topic of 'not fitting in' is because of 'ana' as you mentioned. Ana is short for Anorexia, as Mia is short for Bulimia. I have battled with both and I've recently just lost all my habits and its driving me insane because im not used to living normally anymore. This is why my poems are themed as they are. I'm trying to understand how to fit in while being myself and being happy with myself. And with the flow of my poems I do like to hum while writing to make sure everything flows right. I've been doing that since I was a wee one learning to read.
I know you don't really know me, heh, but I'm glad you're fighting it. Not every girl goes through that, but more than should be normal have to battle feeling ugly and battle themselves with the idea of fitting in. I hope you can find yourself, and in that way find a way to be happy with who you are.
Heh, I have a tendency to hum tunes while I read poetry. I always just thought it was 'cause I was kind of childish and wasn't used to poetry. << Glad to see I'm not alone! But I can definitely see how that's a way to see if it flows right. *nodnod* I do try to keep my writing as personal as possible just so the reader can get the feel of my work. I love hearing that my work has touched someone or pulled their heart a bit. It means I've done what I was mean't to do.
Like Pandora, I really admire your strength for posting this and sharing it with us. I do think it makes your writing more powerful, and by touching people with your words, it brings a new level understanding most people don't have. I think eating disorders are very misunderstood, and I think writing such as yours is very important to understand the impact. |
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