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 Posted: Wed May 03, 2006 5:36 pm
(ya'll are welcome to comment on my entries.)
Well, lately things have been going really well, but today I started feeling bad and this is after I had problems with my iPod. I should learn to relax. Things technology wise always have a way of working out and this did. I fixed the problem earlier. So the questions is why I still feel so crappy. Maybe it's because I still know I have work Friday, but work isn't bad and Friday I'll probably be at a friend's place for a little while afterwards. I really should just relax and everything. I just don't know why I have to feel this way.
Also I do note that I still have this thing that seems to come like a wave. I'll have this moment where everything'll feel so much better. Too bad it only lasts so long.
(Anyways, first post in the subforum, other than Kudzu's introductory post. I was hoping to see others post first and I hope to see others post in the future. I really think this is a good idea.)
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Posted: Tue May 09, 2006 2:55 pm
Right now I'm kinda depressed, because I feel like I'm stuck here. I don't like my job, but then again I don't totally hate it or anything. I don't make much and I hafta build my computer and get a few things before I move out. And kinda think I should move far out, because there aren't very many opportunities here for me. There are computer jobs alot of places out there. Not alot that I feel I'm qualified for, though I have seen 2 recently, one of which isn't listed anymore. *sigh* I feel like I need more computer training, but I don't really know where to get it and I don't want to have to spend years doing it either.
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Posted: Wed May 17, 2006 9:15 pm
So, I rubbed up against some guy by accident at Tops and he called me an a*****e. I turn around a look at him for a sec and head off. I could've made myself feel bad about it, but I'm barely doing that at all right now. I would've said excuse me, but not after what he said. Screw that. Besides I wouldn't want it to sound sarcastic. Heck, if I said something he might start something. I dunno, but I decided it best not to say a word.
I must be doing better, if i'm not dwelling on it and hurting myself.
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Posted: Mon May 29, 2006 6:35 pm
I went to work, decided I was sick and went home. Of course I let them know before leaving. Didn't even clock in. So yeah, I'll spare you some of the details and say I couldn't handle moving around all day, but anyways the point of this post is that I forgot my meds this morning and I'm not even sure I've been taking them regularly, so not only was I sick today I felt bad emotionally. I've been pushing back my anxiety off and on with as good of thoughts I can think of. So hard to do sometimes.
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Posted: Fri Jun 16, 2006 5:33 pm
I feel kind of depressed right now. The trigger was so stupid though and it makes me feel pathetic. What it was was just that last Megatokyo comic of the week. I know it's just a comic, but you get so into the characters. I won't turn this too much into a comic rant, but if you read what's going on now or even just read from the beginning (warning it'll take you a long time.) you'll see what I mean. Piro has some of my qualities in a way, so I identify with him somewhat.
It probably doesn't help that I've been dwelling in anger over how stupid and ignorant Fred Phelps is. I wrote a journal entry on him. Him and his kind make me so mad.
I kinda hope someone's reading this. It might make me feel better to talk to me.
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Posted: Mon Jun 26, 2006 7:24 am
Prince Darialan Love I feel kind of depressed right now. The trigger was so stupid though and it makes me feel pathetic. What it was was just that last Megatokyo comic of the week. I know it's just a comic, but you get so into the characters. I won't turn this too much into a comic rant, but if you read what's going on now or even just read from the beginning (warning it'll take you a long time.) you'll see what I mean. Piro has some of my qualities in a way, so I identify with him somewhat.
It probably doesn't help that I've been dwelling in anger over how stupid and ignorant Fred Phelps is. I wrote a journal entry on him. Him and his kind make me so mad.
I kinda hope someone's reading this. It might make me feel better to talk to me. I'm reading!!! Don't worry, I get depressed over the dumbest things ever. Yesterday, a dog peed on the "no parking" sign on the edge of my lawn, and I was almost in tears.
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Posted: Mon Jun 26, 2006 6:11 pm
Today my attitude was really nasty the first half of work. Here's what started it. My belt. The thing that slips through the hole kept slipping under the thing that holds it. I went into the bathroom to see if I could fix it. I came apart, so I angrily threw it into the garbage. This after someone bitched about me being in the way in the bathroom. He was really an a**h**e about it. So before my break I was pretty much fighting to keep my pants up while I worked. Eventually I got a rope during break and got another belt at walmart after work. After Break, though, my attitude was better.
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Posted: Thu Jul 06, 2006 7:19 pm
I'm having anxiety again, a little extra. Probably because I'm being given another chance at registers tomorrow. I started having that coughing problem again earlier. Fortunately it stopped for now. I felt like I was going to gag. If I do get really nervous again all that's going to happen is what happened last time. Little talking, being hot and sweating alot, and then I'll be back on carts again. That's the worst that can happen. I'm trying to convince that that's the worst that can happen. I hope I'm better tomorrow. The second time's the charm.
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Posted: Sat Jul 08, 2006 4:46 pm
Success! I was a little nervous and I was shaking a little and I did make mistakes, but the fact of the matter is that I did much better than I did last time. I didn't freak out. I talked more as more people came to the register. They didn't pull me off. They are KEEPING ME ON, while I get more used to it. I'm so proud of myself right now! razz
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Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2006 4:16 pm
I made a little mistake yesterday at work, so little that it was kinda laughable. A couple of the other workers laughed, so when that happened I was laughing a little myself. I called a cart to register 10, but i was on 7 and not 10. Apparently the number ten was in my head at the time.
Anyways I've had a little extra anxiety earlier and yesterday. I'm a little better now that I've had a short nap. Though I am a little droopy. Anyways I'm feeling ok at the moment, not my best or anything, but ok.
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Posted: Mon Jul 24, 2006 12:00 am
I worked at a grocery store back last year, and it was a pretty positive experience. Don't worry about making those small mistakes, they happen to everyone. Just keep on going, you'll do just fine, and if you need someone to b***h to about the life of a grocery store cashier just drop me a PM. 3nodding
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Posted: Mon Jul 24, 2006 2:54 pm
Will do and btw today was good. I feel alot better now.
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Posted: Sat Aug 26, 2006 8:16 pm
Well, they upped my hours. This is a good thing, because that means more money for me and my computer and...anime dvds...lol. Anyways, off the money thing. I'm being posotive on this. They upped my hours a little bit before and this is a slightly bigger change. I have to work an 8 hour shift tomorrow, which is unusual. I don't know that I like idea, because I alwaqys want to go home by the 6 hour mark, but then again I have 3 seperate breaks on an 8 hour shift and that should hold me together. And I always tell myself that I can handle real well working a little longer than scheduled, if necessary. And like when I'm working, I'm so busy that even an hour or 2 goes fast. It's not like the carts where you're counting down the minutes till you go home. That gets boring and and you get tired of it and it's almost painful to just keep going on for so long. So all in all everthing is going posotively for me.
I have that book coming in the mail real soon. Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy. I'm hoping to get some more insight with that.
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Posted: Fri Sep 01, 2006 2:47 pm
My mood? EXCITED!
I have ordered the final parts for my computer!
I have 4 more hours than this week, next week. That's 32.
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Posted: Wed Sep 06, 2006 7:58 pm
I got my computer together, but it wasn't as satisfying after the operating system was installed. I felt depressed. It was just little fixable things that went wrong. And it's all those programs I have to get back onto this machine. I'm going to study the other computer tomorrow and try and get things back the way they were when I left my parents' pc and then when things are done and I think it's working well, then I'll get rid of the things off of my parents' computer. And I'll have this beast all to myself. I'm feeling better, but I got depressed because of all these little things and my satisfaction was lower than my excitement when they arrived. I wish I knew how to fix that about me.
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