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 Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2007 7:48 pm
Who: Edward & Liliana
What: if you can't guess... back read recent threads
Where: Realm & just outside.
When: Saturday, 15 June 2007 just before sunset.
Why: sweatdrop to conclude the love triangle(?) arc
With a soft popping sound Liliana apparated into the Realm's headquarters. A quick glance around showed her that he was not in the main room. Trotting down the hall she checked 'his' room. Not there either. But she knew he was at the Realm. Where... she was not as certain.
It would have been easy to call on his communicator to ask him exactly where he was. If he had it turned on. But she had not, for one reason or another. Probably an illogical one.
Outside. At the thought the crimson female turned and hurried towards the door, her wings folded against her back. Walking was so much more invigorating for her now, since she had started training with Zell. Just outside the door she tossed down a pinch of sparkling powder. A red trail glowed faintly amid a myriad of others. The witch knew it was the right one. Touching a paw to the mythril pendant around her neck she straitened her bag and followed the faint trail. How long had he been out here?
"Edward?" She called anxiously as she saw a familiar form ahead where the magical trail faded away. Her voice cracked a little, though there was a certain ring to it. One that had not been there for some weeks at least if it ever had.
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Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2007 7:54 pm
He had not been in the main room, but his coat had been. Hung neatly on a chair. It had been terribly hot that day, in the 90's and Edward didn't care much for the heat.. especially with his automail. Thus, he'd left his coat and overshirt inside as he enjoyed the outdoors. During the heat of the day, he'd kept to the shade.. but now as the sun was setting, it was cool enough to bask in its light again. That light which glinted off his automail. He had put himself near where he and Lilianna had spent their last talk. On a little hill just outside the HQ, and overlooking the fields and forests beyond.
He seemed to be in quiet thought, but turned his head when he'd heard a familiar voice. A soft smile appeared on his maw and the teen sat up as she approached. One of Edward's ears flicked as he caught the crack in her voice, but otherwise there was no reaction. "Hey Lily... What's up?" he asked simply, knowing full well what she might be here for.
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Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2007 8:12 pm
Her body relaxed softly in relief. Belatedly she recalled catching a glimpse of his coat & overshirt in the headquarters, but her mind had not made the connection. Severus would have severely chastised her for such an oversight. Or simply make her feel as if he had.
Liliana looked at Ed, sitting on the hill, looking at her. This was not going to be easy.
Padding towards him Lily brushed the side of her crimson muzzle to his cheek in greeting. No... this was not going to be easy. But no one said it would be. "I was hoping I'd find you." She stalled, giving Ed a grin. It melted into thoughtfulness. "I... have something to tell you but first... I wanted to ask you something."
There was a hint in her voice that said what she was going to say would not be changed by the question & its answer, but that she was worried the answer to the question would change after she said what she came here to say.
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Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2007 8:24 pm
The teen raised both brows at her words, his cheek brushing back against hers in the greeting. "What is it?" he asked. He dared not even presume what it was she wanted to tell or ask him, especially the latter.
His expression was fairly neutral, but certainly not unkind. Just a soft smile and attentive golden eyes looking at Lilianna expectantly. However, behind the mask, a myriad of emotions were raging.
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Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2007 8:40 pm
Swallowing heavily Liliana regrouped her thoughts. She knew what she wanted to ask, but words -try as she might- kept alluding her. At least knowing the right ones. Her green eyes fixed on Ed's golden ones, unflinching even as she sorted through her mind for the right words.
"Edward... if Endless had not said he loved me... If I didn't tell you of the kiss... Would you... do you think you would have told me you loved me? Or kissed me like that?"
Her gaze was both hard and soft. Soft because she loved him, would always love him. Edward was her best friend. Hard... because she wanted him to tell her the truth, no matter what. It seemed to say 'truth over everything, I can take the hurt, so don't hold back on my account' while being infinitely patient. Liliana would not move until she had an answer.
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Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2007 8:56 pm
Her words struck a nerve, brows furrowing slightly as that mask was cracked. His ears flattened out to the sides and his gaze lowered a bit.
"I don't know" he said softly, "I hadn't really thought about love, anymore than you had until Endless brought it up." He was silent for a few moments before continuing, "At first, I think I was more afraid of losing you than anything else... but..." and he lifted his head, his smile having returned and a somewhat far off look in his eyes as he stared at nothing inparticular. "That afternoon we spent on your lawn... there was something there. I had wanted to tell you that I loved you, but instead, I waited until I thought you were asleep. It was then that I wanted to kiss you too.. heh. I just didn't have the guts." He rolled his shoulders, "Maybe it was all because of Endless. I guess I really am still just a kid, aren't I? Can't get a grip on my own feelings."
He grimaced a bit.. not looking Lilianna in the eyes. That time on the lawn.. and when they had watched the sunrise. Those moments had meant a lot to him and he held them dear. He did love her.. but did he love her in the same sense that Endless did? Now he was even starting to doubt himself... although it seemed that Lilianna had doubted first.
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Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2007 9:21 pm
Her head nodded the barest fraction of an inch as he spoke. Only close observation would even see it. She had to hold herself firmly in check watching his expressions, knowing that she would always love him.
But when he called himself a kid her hackles rose and she stiffened defensively. "No." Liliana barked sharply. Her green eyes bore into him, hoping to catch his own. "You're not a kid, Edward. You're older than plenty who are considered adults. Just because you're body is being slow about growing ... that doesn't make you or anything you do a kid."
Then everything about her softened and she nuzzled him lightly. "Thank you, Edward. Thank you for being honest."
She sighed softly. "This is not easy for me, Edward. But we knew that, didn't we? You're my first and best friend. I'll always love you and want to be with you. But..." Her petite body winced hating herself for using the dreaded word like that even as she forced herself to continue. "I... I... I've chosen Endless, Edward." Her voice choked slightly and tears started to pour from her eyes.
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Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2007 9:29 pm
Edward blinked at the sharp tone that Lilianna used to emphasize the word 'No'. It got his attention at the very least and he looked up at her, startled. Her words drew a wry smile from him and a 'heh'. Just because he was older... didn't mean he wasn't mentally grown up. But he appreciated her encouragement. Only Edward could fully know if he was 'grown up' or not.
However, as she continued to speak... he heard the tone of her voice and knew what she was about to say. "But you've chosen Endless" he said in unison with her, "I know..." the last couple words said in a very soft manner. "I've known since you left that day, Lili." He swallowed hard... and while he said he knew... and he felt he had.. that didn't ease the sting of the words.
He looked out towards the sunset, the sad expression not easily missed. "It will be a long time before the sun will rise again." And he didn't mean literally.
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Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2007 9:47 pm
She nodded and hung her head. For the first time unsure if she should hug him or not. Lily caught his words, heard their underlying meaning and felt her heart would break. Before she knew what she was doing her head was around his neck and she was hugging him.
"I'm sorry..." There was so much she felt she should say, so much she probably could or should say but that was all Liliana could muster. Perhaps later she would be able to ask how he had known when she herself had not known until after her family's dinner last night. How he had known then when as she left him Liliana was close to certain she would chose him... but the question would have to wait. For the moment Liliana was awash knowing she had hurt her best friend... and apparantly deprived him of the 'sun' as well.
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Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2007 9:59 pm
He was silent and didn't move when Lilianna hugged him. Before.. he would have hugged her back and basked in its warmth.. but this time, he felt cold. And not just because of the chilly night breeze that started to blow.
Eventually Edward pulled away, finding contact too painful. "Naw..." he said, his voice still low. She didn't need to be sorry. "After all.. we're just friends right? We'll always be friends..." and he trailed off with a frown. "I'm sure you and Endless will be happy."
But what about his happiness? Well... apparently it wasn't meant to be in that form. Not with Lilianna. This world wasn't meant for him, and that fact seemed to become all the more real. Maybe it is just a dream... or a nightmare. How foolish he had been.
He padded a few steps away from Lilianna, keeping his back to her, although his posture was slumped... defeated. She knew what would happen... when she had to choose one of them. He knew what would happen. He brought this upon himself really, when he said 'I love you.' Really.. he had nobody to blame but himself.
He wanted to ask why. What was it about Endless that was so much better than him? But he couldn't.. that just wasn't fair.
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Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2007 10:25 pm
She felt him pulling away before he physically pulled away. She watched him, his back to her, through tear filled eyes. "Best friends..." She whispered brokenly. Edward always would be that to her. Liliana was sure too... but wondered at that moment how they could be... how she would ever feel whole again ... with all that had transpired.
It broke her heart to see Edward so defeated. If he asked her, Lily was not certain she would know how to reply. Only it was not a matter of better...
She flopped to her belly eyes on the sunset though she hardly saw it at all. He was going. How she knew, Lily could not say. Except that she knew him. "Edward..." She called softly, a note of pleading in her voice. "Watch the sunset with me before you go?"
Liliana did not turn to see his reaction. His body was in her periferal vision so she did not have too. Sighing she lay her head on her paws. "Don't leave for too long, Edward."
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Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2007 10:39 pm
With his back turned to her.. she couldn't see the tear that fell... or the loneliness that was in his eyes. Never had Edward experienced such a rejection.
He wondered if automail could be made for the heart... for it felt like his had shattered into a million pieces.
"Endless is your best friend now" he said. Edward would only be second place in her heart, not first. Thus why he couldn't be her best friend. That was reserved for the one male she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.
There was silence from Edward after that, her plea to watch the sunset and not to go for too long, were unanswered. However, he did sit himself down, turning his gaze towards the sunset that was already disappearing behind the horizon.
As he watched it set... he also saw hopes, dreams, and newly discovered feelings go with it. Leaving a dark and empty sky that was devoid of stars... endless. Heh.. that kitsu had been named well.
It wasn't until the sun was gone that Edward spoke again, "Things will be different from now on, Lilianna... they have to be." With that, he got up and slowly walked away.
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Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2007 10:57 pm
She wanted to shake her head but could not, her ears falling flat against her head & over her forelegs upon which it rested. Liliana was too choked up to respond. No! Edward would always be her best friend! Wouldn't he? Liliana had not counted on losing her best friend too... not like this.
What had she thought it would be like? The sun set on a chapter of her life. Edward's parting words hung in the air. She could not argue them. She could not stop him. He was right: Everything would be different.
In time she hoped she could live with that.
Burying her head beneath her paws Liliana wept.
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