I would like for some of you to take a look at The Unholy Destroyer's Abilities and see if they are overpowered and maybe criticize it. [Here
Posted: Thu Oct 10, 2013 7:46 pm
Spreader of Despair
I would like for some of you to take a look at The Unholy Destroyer's Abilities and see if they are overpowered and maybe criticize it. [Here
What's up Gg? This is just MY opinion about the profile. Feel free to enlighten me or ignore it if I misread something.
The third line previous to the last paragraph of the bio has two "But to"
" Lord Death had no choice but to but to seal him just like he did with Asura."
The abilities talk alot about his personality rather than what they do. I would recomment going straight to the point and add the trivia about it on a second plane. This shouldn't strive far from my previous suggestion in this thread.
Abilities: Awakened State: While in this form, his power is at its normal state, which is around 5%, but even in this state, he has tremendous strength, speed, endurance, flexibility and dexterity. This form alone, is more than enough to kill the current Demon King and at least injure the former Lord Death. [This is a supplementary ability, it can be sustained forever, but the Unholy One rarely keeps it active for more than a few hours, 5 posts max. However if he finds himself interested in the battle, he will have it continuously active.] Trivia
In this state, the Unholy One's clothes and appearance changes into that of his kishin form. This is the form he takes when he enters battle or really wishes to show his kishin form to others, while it may not look impressive, this is the form he was in when he injured Lord Death, so he is not to be underestimated at any cost. Believe it or not, this is not the strongest he can get. This is just the base form and level, meaning beyond this there is a stronger form that he has, but that has only been seen by one person, Lord Death. This works by having his soul appear around him, but seeing as his soul is nearly the size of the Former Lord Death, only the strongest of the strong, will be able to see it. The Unholy One's body will then glow bright white and fade away, resulting in his change of appearance.
Broken Threads: Broken Threads are tears that open the dimensional fabric separating the world to create a pathway, essentially teleportation through portals but on very detailed scale. The crack or tear will open up and connect to a different area or space anywhere, allowing for him to enter or exit anywhere he pleases. [This is a passive skill that he is able to use freely, there is no cooldown or duration.] Trivia
To use Broken Threads, the Unholy One will simply tap his index in the air in front of him and almost instantly, a small white crack or tear will appear in the area. He has shown the ability to open multiple Threads, ones immensely large that tower over entire buildings and ones very small no bigger than the size of a baby. Through the various experiments that he has done with Threads, the Unholy One has discovered and perfected his own specialized portal. Instead of the normal appearance, the Unholy One is able to use the concept of space-time manipulation and teleportation, which portals are known for, he is able to use his body as a thread making him able to literally transport himself to and from places, without having to open a portal, since he technically becomes one. How this work is that his entire body completely disintegrates and then reconstructs his body at a desired location, all of which is done in a matter of seconds.
Madness Barrage: The Unholy One is able to teleport himself right in front of the target, he will then vanish and reappear behind the target with his Broken Thread ability. This will go on until multiple after-images are created, each one mimicking the original. As the opponent is distracted by the multiple after-images, the real body will appear in the place of one of the fakes and launch a deadly strike towards his or her abdomen. This maneuver can be repeated numerous times and can also be used as a way to escape or buy time, if it is needed. [Both the user and opponent(s) can use the threads, but only the opponent can appear right in front of the user, not the only way around.] I didn't understood the explanation. Anyone can use the threads. But only the foe can appear in front of the user? Does it mean that the threads would not allow the foe to use the threads to warp behind Alphonse? Otherwise it sounds as if the foes are the only ones that can appear in front of Alphonse, which would be kind of weird for the unholy one not being able to appear infront of the victims. It kinda sounds like Thread's of Fate.
Threads of Fate: A very simply yet highly resourceful and dangerous ability that causes multiple portals to open up all around the battlefield. With the portals or rather threads, scattered through out the area, the Unholy One will be able to conserve his energy and use the threads to teleport around the field, randomly showing up out of different threads. This also gives him a wide variety of ways to attack, counter and defend an opponent(s). However, this ability is a double edged sword, while the Unholy can transport through them, so can his opponent(s), but instead of appearing randomly like the Unholy One, they will appear almost instantly in front of him. This is a dangerous technique for him to use, but the pros out weigh the cons in his eyes. [Lasts for two posts, but can be prolonged and even increased in range by exerting more energy.] I like this skill, serves as a back up plan to retrieve his people from the battlefield XD
Condensed Threads: This is the only defensive technique that the Unholy One has been seen using with his Broken Threads Ability. By gathering multiple threads into the palm of his hands, the Unholy One is able to send it out at an opponent or his or her attacks, in the form of a condensed translucent white sphere. If it hits an attack, it will randomly send the attack in another direction, avoiding any damage or resulting explosion that might occur. If it hits an opponent, the opponent will randomly teleport somewhere in the area, which could either work out for them or just stall for time. The sphere can also be erected around him as an immobile barrier having the same effect but not the long range. [Has a cooldown period of three posts, meaning that once used in one post, the user will have to wait an additional three posts to be able to use it again. The barrier can be broken if a strong enough attack were to be launched and the sphere is easily avoidable.] Define a Strong enough attack. Otherwise it would sound kinda op if people can't destroy the barrier, and take around 2-3 post to destroy it. It's understandable against rookies and opponents of lower level than him. However examples would aid comprehension. Also, they are all different ways to use the original skill so I'm tempted to move these 3 variants into the trivia as examples of what he can do with it.
Divergence:
Time Flow: A truly frightening and deadly ability that the Unholy Destroyer only uses when he is severely injured or unable to react quick enough to an opponent, both of which are rare. It allows for "time adjustment" that can only stagnate the time which has passed and accelerate time in the future rather than something more advanced like "time modification", which has the ability to reverse cause and effect and change the past. Essentially, the Unholy One can adjust the time flow of or around his own body. However, to use any of the techniques that comes with the spell he has the use the chant, Time Flow, followed by the name of the technique he wishes to use. [This far I fail to see any cons or cost for the use of this spell which might label it as OP. After reading the other abilities I can see everything it's good to go. However at first instance it looks like an OP skill. And many people are not patient readers. ]
Accelerate: This is a technique that speeds up the time flow in his body causing him to temporarily move at immeasurable speeds. Using this too many times will cause him to suffer from the blood flow speeding up back to original speed, which causes burst capillaries and internal bleeding. Without the use of healing, three times is his limit when using Accelerate, and even a few seconds of it is enough to rupture numerous blood vessels and cause fractures in the bones of his limbs due to the burden. [Can only be used three times per battle, with a five post cool-down.] [trivia]
This is his most used technique, allowing him to move faster than the human eye can see. It speeds up his blood flow, hemoglobin metabolism, and muscle movement all at the same time. Using this brief burst of speed, he can use his own physical skills and reaction speed at a level far above his kishin limitations. It allows for split second evasion in front of an enemy, and its power of mobility can make for one of his greatest defenses.
Reversal: A small sphere will appear around him and time within the sphere will flow backwards, healing him of not only the wound he had just sustained but also any other wound on him. This is the only healing spell that he has been known to know and was critical in his battle against Lord Death. [Can only be used two times per battle with a ten post cool-down.] [trivia]
Probably the most effective and useful technique, the Unholy One has. Reversal is a technique that utilizes his time and space manipulation to create a field around himself after he sustains a troubling or critical injury.
Skills/Attributes: Immense Speed: Being one of the oldest and strongest beings alive, the Unholy One possesses mind-blowing speed. With this sort of speed he is able to use the battlefield to his advantage. His speed is so great that most normal meisters, weapons, demons, witches and kishins can't register his movements, until after he has made them, he is also skilled enough to dodge at tremendous speeds, even if he's assaulted from behind and is able to move backwards at full speed just as well as forwards. He is stated to move at a speed which nears breaking the sound barrier, and he often augments his physical blows by the velocity at which he is moving at. [If its not justified by the use of his Abilitie Time flow then it's OP]
Highly Intelligent and Manipulative Mind: [Okay I guess? The story didn't said anything about him being manipulative tho. Pardon if I misread this.]
Immeasurable Madness: As one of, if not the strongest Kishins alive, the Unholy Destroyer possesses an incomprehensible amount of madness within him. According to old records, his madness and energy has an overbearing power which is unlike anything or any Kishin alive can comprehend. His madness has a presence which, according to Lord Death, feels as if it's trying to destroy his own soul. Unlike most madness, which is not visible or have any color, the Unholy ones is different. His has a color which pure white, when it is released into the air around him, it gives off a swooshing sound. When unleashing a strong enough surge of energy, his madness will often take the appearance of countless humanoid figures hovering in the air. His very presence can cause even the most skilled warriors to lose their breath. The sheer force of his madness causes his enemies to have a mix of fear and despair. [It's kind of obvious since it is a Kishin, but if you want it to be neutral and wander around meeting new people. The it should be sealed like "Only available when in kishin form" or something like it. Otherwise Alphonse would be very lonely since it would be blowing up minds even without knowing it.]
Immense Strength: Due to his many years of combat experience and time on the battlefield, alongside Lord Death and Asura, the Unholy One has a very large degree of physical strength, most commonly displayed by his ability to fight back his opponent's attacks with a single arm. In the past, he has shown just how strong he he is. From being able to fight off a massive demon by kicking it through a building and slamming it over his shoulder with one hand in battle. His great strength is shown during his fights with Lord Death holding off his scythe's attacks by force alone and even battling back his Kishin-Hunter attack. In the same battle, he had dispatched two of his opponents with presumably little effort, both of which were Death Scythe and Master Meisters After being asleep for centuries, the Unholy One's strength has not decreased, but it has not grown either. [Pretty much the same than Hand to Hand Combat, the definition fits more to Hand to Han combat mastery tho.]
Thanks for the honest criticism. This is still far from complete and with the details you've just told, I will be one step further to completing it. The skills and attributes are something that I am still working on. The blanks are things that I still need to put in, that entire section is just pure BS right now until I come up with something more solid, lol. Thanks again for the help.
Posted: Thu Oct 10, 2013 8:18 pm
Spreader of Despair
Nebbia d Argento
Thanks for the honest criticism. This is still far from complete and with the details you've just told, I will be one step further to completing it. The skills and attributes are something that I am still working on. The blanks are things that I still need to put in, that entire section is just pure BS right now until I come up with something more solid, lol. Thanks again for the help.
No problem. Besides it's not BS, I merely tried to look at it from a noob perspective. How would someone who just started woulr react if they wanted to read that profile to understand the character.... something that most of us should learn to do. Anyways, keep up the good work, hope to see the final masterpiece soon ( ^ ^)b
Thanks for the honest criticism. This is still far from complete and with the details you've just told, I will be one step further to completing it. The skills and attributes are something that I am still working on. The blanks are things that I still need to put in, that entire section is just pure BS right now until I come up with something more solid, lol. Thanks again for the help.
No problem. Besides it's not BS, I merely tried to look at it from a noob perspective. How would someone who just started woulr react if they wanted to read that profile to understand the character.... something that most of us should learn to do. Anyways, keep up the good work, hope to see the final masterpiece soon ( ^ ^)b
Also, I just went over the Madness Barrage and realized that I made a mistake, the last bit about letting both fighters use the threads was meant for, as you stated, Threads of Fate. I merely mixed up the wording and it caused some confusion. Essentially, Madness Barrage is a technique that causes him to move so fast that multiple after-images will form and while the opponent is distracted, he will strike them while they are caught off guard and their defense is down. That is pretty much it.
Posted: Thu Oct 10, 2013 8:32 pm
Spreader of Despair
Nebbia d Argento
Spreader of Despair
Nebbia d Argento
Thanks for the honest criticism. This is still far from complete and with the details you've just told, I will be one step further to completing it. The skills and attributes are something that I am still working on. The blanks are things that I still need to put in, that entire section is just pure BS right now until I come up with something more solid, lol. Thanks again for the help.
No problem. Besides it's not BS, I merely tried to look at it from a noob perspective. How would someone who just started woulr react if they wanted to read that profile to understand the character.... something that most of us should learn to do. Anyways, keep up the good work, hope to see the final masterpiece soon ( ^ ^)b
Also, I just went over the Madness Barrage and realized that I made a mistake, the last bit about letting both fighters use the threads was meant for, as you stated, Threads of Fate. I merely mixed up the wording and it caused some confusion. Essentially, Madness Barrage is a technique that causes him to move so fast that multiple after-images will form and while the opponent is distracted, he will strike them while they are caught off guard and their defense is down. That is pretty much it.
Yeah, I was very confused when I read that part D: So, how is mister kishin goin' ? And what's Divine up to lately? Just being curious >w>
Thanks for the honest criticism. This is still far from complete and with the details you've just told, I will be one step further to completing it. The skills and attributes are something that I am still working on. The blanks are things that I still need to put in, that entire section is just pure BS right now until I come up with something more solid, lol. Thanks again for the help.
No problem. Besides it's not BS, I merely tried to look at it from a noob perspective. How would someone who just started woulr react if they wanted to read that profile to understand the character.... something that most of us should learn to do. Anyways, keep up the good work, hope to see the final masterpiece soon ( ^ ^)b
Also, I just went over the Madness Barrage and realized that I made a mistake, the last bit about letting both fighters use the threads was meant for, as you stated, Threads of Fate. I merely mixed up the wording and it caused some confusion. Essentially, Madness Barrage is a technique that causes him to move so fast that multiple after-images will form and while the opponent is distracted, he will strike them while they are caught off guard and their defense is down. That is pretty much it.
Yeah, I was very confused when I read that part D: So, how is mister kishin goin' ? And what's Divine up to lately? Just being curious >w>
I've been so focused with my other RPC's and working on the Unholy One, that I don't think I've posted as Divine in about a week or so, but we can just say he's taking a little rest in his throne or something.
Posted: Thu Oct 10, 2013 8:50 pm
Spreader of Despair
Nebbia d Argento
Spreader of Despair
Nebbia d Argento
Spreader of Despair
Nebbia d Argento
Thanks for the honest criticism. This is still far from complete and with the details you've just told, I will be one step further to completing it. The skills and attributes are something that I am still working on. The blanks are things that I still need to put in, that entire section is just pure BS right now until I come up with something more solid, lol. Thanks again for the help.
No problem. Besides it's not BS, I merely tried to look at it from a noob perspective. How would someone who just started woulr react if they wanted to read that profile to understand the character.... something that most of us should learn to do. Anyways, keep up the good work, hope to see the final masterpiece soon ( ^ ^)b
Also, I just went over the Madness Barrage and realized that I made a mistake, the last bit about letting both fighters use the threads was meant for, as you stated, Threads of Fate. I merely mixed up the wording and it caused some confusion. Essentially, Madness Barrage is a technique that causes him to move so fast that multiple after-images will form and while the opponent is distracted, he will strike them while they are caught off guard and their defense is down. That is pretty much it.
Yeah, I was very confused when I read that part D: So, how is mister kishin goin' ? And what's Divine up to lately? Just being curious >w>
I've been so focused with my other RPC's and working on the Unholy One, that I don't think I've posted as Divine in about a week or so, but we can just say he's taking a little rest in his throne or something.
hahaha okay XD I will see how this arc develops by itself
Well.. I still need to fix up Michi . Put her two new abilities in. I should have five of her attacks and have three in reserved.
Posted: Sun Oct 13, 2013 8:39 pm
How does this look guys? I'm thinking about using it for the Unholy One.
The Reticent Harlequin Vice Captain
Unforgiving Tactician
Offline
One For All Hero
Eternal Lunatic
Offline
Posted: Sun Oct 13, 2013 9:22 pm
Spreader of Despair
How does this look guys? I'm thinking about using it for the Unholy One.
I like it.
Posted: Sun Oct 13, 2013 9:36 pm
Elegant Vixen
Spreader of Despair
How does this look guys? I'm thinking about using it for the Unholy One.
I like it.
lol, I like it too, but something just doesn't feel right about, like its missing something. This is when my super-detailed and nick-picky side comes in, lol
The Reticent Harlequin Vice Captain
Unforgiving Tactician
Offline
One For All Hero
Eternal Lunatic
Offline
Posted: Mon Oct 14, 2013 9:58 pm
Spreader of Despair
Elegant Vixen
Spreader of Despair
How does this look guys? I'm thinking about using it for the Unholy One.
I like it.
lol, I like it too, but something just doesn't feel right about, like its missing something. This is when my super-detailed and nick-picky side comes in, lol
I have no comment to say but this.. how do you make this?
Posted: Mon Oct 14, 2013 10:04 pm
Elegant Vixen
lol, I use a image altering program, called GIMP, to render out images that I want to use, then do a lot of editing and adding texts and effects, which is very tedious, the process takes a lot of time, but mostly it is the rendering, which would take about an hour to three hours, depending on the size and complexity of the image.
How does this look guys? I'm thinking about using it for the Unholy One.
I like it.
lol, I like it too, but something just doesn't feel right about, like its missing something. This is when my super-detailed and nick-picky side comes in, lol
Everything clicks except for the Font so far it's the only thing that goes off All the other icy / blue ish colors are pale or darker, kinda lifeless and then here comes this Font that looks taken out of a Soda / potato chips commercial and with a vivid blue none the less. Try using colors provided by the image itself. Perhaps a cursive font? You'll see it would flow more naturally.
once again, sorry for the intromission. I just... happen to have a lot of free time lately
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