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Kim laid there for a few minutes before he turned around and held the angel once more and carried on crying "im sorry" he sobed "I just feel really dirty again. When I came out of the bathroom half naked I just wanted to go back in there and clean myself again, I just couldnt stand having your eyes agiesnt my body, it was just horrible" he said as he cuddled into the angle.

Kim started to calm down a bit and just clung to the angel, eyes closed as he let himself enjoy the angels kiss "I want to believe that and a part of me does even after what happened but still I am just still so prainoid and its horrible. I just want these feelings to go away, the nightmares and memories i can sort of live with but the feelings are just horrible" he said as he wipped away a few tears away.

Kim gasped and wanted to pull away but didnt, he shut his eyes and kissed the angel back, enjoying the kiss that even he never thought he would after what happend with the coon, the angel...everything. He wanted this badly and he did enjoy it though god knows he still wanted to pull away yet forced himself not to.

Kim was staring at him, not saying anything either though after a few moments of looking at hm with sadened eyes still a bit he couldnt help but ask just two things. "w-w-what was that for? Y-you never have done that to me before when I kissed you so why now?" he asked softly, wondering what had gotten into the angel, sure he enjoyed the kiss but still...

Kim had calmed down alot by now yet was still looking at the angel questioningly. "I dont understand, you wont do anything till im better? What am i meant to say to you? I want you, your the only one I want yet because im like this I just dont want to even try to get into a relationship with you let alone anything else.

But that doesnt mean I dont want you to not do things to me, I mean sure sexual things might not be the greatest obviously but evne I think I could trust myself and you to kiss at the very least, holding you in my arms is is more comfort hen I have ever wanted or needed in my life and I dont want you to stop.

Please carry on, I just dont want to be away from you yet telling you that I want you is torture on me because of what happend but still I know well enough that i might not be ok for ages....

Which sort of brings me to what Im about to say next. What I am about to say next" he said softly as he collected his thoughts and tried to set himself up for heartache once more. "this is tearing me apart on the inside but I have to say it" Kim said biting his bottom lip "I...I want you to go and find someone else, I dont want you living your life around me. So please, go out and find another, im not worth waiting for even if you do want me, I am 'damaged' and im no use to anyone.

So you should be with another no matter what I dont want you to be remotely attracted to me out of pitty or anything else, I am not worth it and I dont want you sticking around just becauseI have been raped. You have your own life to live and I dont want to stop living it because of me" Kim said before turning over and started to cry again. He did love the angel but dispite not really wanting a relationship, if ever, then he had to be let go and that truely did hurt the demon but it was something he had to do, he cared about the angel far to deeply to have him hang around him and be with him on acount of getting raped, he just had to go find someone else as it was only fair no matter how much he hurt.

Kim got up off the bed and wraped his arms around the angel and cried "no, it isnt what I want, It will kill me, I just couldnt bare seeing you in the arms of another. Look at where my breaking up with you in the first place got me? I am now lying here, hurt, untrusting of others and the only one I do trust is the one I love. I dont want to lose you again, but im never going to be like everyone else ever again, I want you to you to be happy, I want the best for you and thats all I care about but with the state im in that isnt going to happen and im just going to have you unhappy and I dont want that.

I want you so much that it is just killing me for saying this but I just cant let you stay with me when Im not never going to be the same ever again." He let go of the angel and just fell back onto the bed and cried harder, curling into a ball and just laid there crying harder with his back to the angel, silently wanting to kill that coon himself for ruining any chance he had with Sabin, he just never wanted it to be this way.

Kim couldnt help but seem to think that even though the angel said he wasnt unhappy Kim seemed to think there was something else, to kim he seemed a little stand offish when it came to talking about being with him. Understandable after what happened but still he couldnt shake that feeling.

Of course he wasnt going to force Sabin to be with him but still he just wished the angel was a little more easier to read then he might be able to understand a bit more. Kim just pushed the thoughts to the back of his mind and turned around and clung to him "as long as your happy, I dont want you staying around because of me, I just want the best for you thats all and I am just scared that with you being here with me you arnt going to get it" he said as he cuddled into the angel a bit more.

Kim smiled at him "I love you to" he said as he kissed the angels forehead "and yes to the sundae but no to...hang on" he said drying his eyes, feel a bit calmer now. "why am i talking to Rayne?" he asked his angel curiously as he pulled reluctantly away from the angel and got up off the bed and held his hand out to his angel.