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Tags: gothic lolita, japanese fashion, lolita 

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Princess Harmonia

PostPosted: Fri Aug 24, 2007 1:35 pm


PearlZenith
Annai, by my standards, you were being kind, and helpful. There are many times in life when being polite just isn't going to work because we don't have a common code of conduct to follow. If we did live in victorian times, things would be quite a bit different, but (I'm speaking for the usa here) currently, we've grown up being told on the one hand that we should always 'be ourselves' while also being told that 'unless we have certain things or qualities, no one will like us.' All of that is complete nonsense. Yes, each person should aspire to be herself as fully as she can be, but there are times when she needs to put on attitudes that may not be innate to her, in order to survive, or get where she wants to go. I really admire people who go through life without ever doing that, but most of us find it more to our advantage to use occasional false selves achieve our ends.

But, it doesn't really matter if everybody likes you as long as the people who are important to you regard you as important to them. And, my friends like me no matter how I act. They think it's amusing when I'm rude and swear, and speak my mind, and cute when I try to be courteous, polite, refined, and cultured. All of us are complex, and inconstant, and it's okay to decide to change how you act, if you really do want to become someone different because you think that how you've been acting is more false than what you will become.

If any of what I just wrote is intelligible, I'll be amazed. I speak much better than I write.


I think this was very well expressed. I whole-heartedly agree. biggrin

I believe nobody can truly be "polite and sweet" all of the time. Certainly good manners matter but there are still always going to be different times and situations when you'll have to put different faces. You can't confine to just one demeanor all the time. To brand everyone interested or involved with Lolita as "polite and sweet" is simply incorrect and incoherent. Everyone, regardless of their favorite fashions, is human and has human qualities. Some traits are stronger than others but usually they all manifest themselves at different times. You can be perfectly courteous one day, at a tea time with some friends for instance, and then equally cold or upset when dealing with situations that don't rub you the right way.

Nonetheless, from what I read, there was no real need for those girls to react so harshly. The gesture was more informative and helpful to them but they perceived it as an offense, apparently. It doesn't matter though; you don't have to be on good terms with everyone under the blue just as long as you have those around you that really do care for you and are truly important to you because those are the people that know you better and love you regardless of anything others may think or say.
PostPosted: Sat Aug 25, 2007 9:20 am


(referring to the beginning of the thread....)

I kind of find it funny how you were being polite, but they got all angry and called you names. It kind of makes me want to say, "I think you're the one who should be telling yourself that." If only I were there. There aren't any anime-cons to have meet ups where I live and I hear stories about meet ups a lot....I just want to share that dream! *points head*

Sweetened with Splenda

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Miss Nicolette Strange

PostPosted: Sat Aug 25, 2007 10:22 am


The stereotype should be that a Lolita is smart. Whether or not she is nice and sweet should have nothing to do with it.

Of course, it's only reasonable that people (not just lolitas) act at least reasonable. A bitchy attitude looks bad with any style.
PostPosted: Sat Aug 25, 2007 11:14 am


I also think it's funny that people who are "anti-elitists" are elitist, thinking they've above people who openly admit their snobbery...

Decora.Doll


Miss Nicolette Strange

PostPosted: Sat Aug 25, 2007 1:27 pm


+laughs+

Are you bitter about the guild, D?

The point of the AEL guild not to congratulate ourselves on not being snobs, but simply to have an environment where we aren't constantly in danger of being criticized by people like you.
PostPosted: Sat Aug 25, 2007 4:25 pm


mad d Mmm, I don't think too much about the stereotype of lolita persona. I mean, when I think of lolita I USUALLY do think of sweet, mild-mannered people, but I'm not going to say that there can't be any such thing as an outspoken lolita.

I for one don't live up to the stereotype very well. I am a kind, good-natured person and such, but I can be quite loud and outspoken sometimes, especially if I'm excited or angry. If I'm angry, then I'm definitely not living up to the stereotype at all. sweatdrop

Mudou Nemaelle


Amanikitty

PostPosted: Sat Aug 25, 2007 6:33 pm


-C'est la lune qui conduit la danse...-



Why, because people just want their a**-kissed instead of listening to criticism that would make them better at the fashion?

Really, running away from your "problems" and then trying to act boastful about it doesn't make you look good at all.


-...quand le soleil sera couché dans ton âme froide.-
PostPosted: Sat Aug 25, 2007 6:58 pm


Amanikitty
-C'est la lune qui conduit la danse...-



Why, because people just want their a**-kissed instead of listening to criticism that would make them better at the fashion?

Really, running away from your "problems" and then trying to act boastful about it doesn't make you look good at all.


-...quand le soleil sera couché dans ton âme froide.-


In the end, the ones that Annai argued with will realize that she was right in the first place. It seems to happen to a lot of newer lolitas after they've been into the style for some time.

Sweetened with Splenda

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Amanikitty

PostPosted: Sat Aug 25, 2007 7:05 pm


JolieRini
Amanikitty
-C'est la lune qui conduit la danse...-



Why, because people just want their a**-kissed instead of listening to criticism that would make them better at the fashion?

Really, running away from your "problems" and then trying to act boastful about it doesn't make you look good at all.


-...quand le soleil sera couché dans ton âme froide.-


In the end, the ones that Annai argued with will realize that she was right in the first place. It seems to happen to a lot of newer lolitas after they've been into the style for some time.
-C'est la lune qui conduit la danse...-



Oh, definitely.
I always tell newbies that look up to me, that once you touch a good-quality dress (especially those with the nice cotton lace), you can never go back and see one of those cosplay-ish dresses like Bodyline or Rakuten the same way again. True story.


-...quand le soleil sera couché dans ton âme froide.-
PostPosted: Sat Aug 25, 2007 7:28 pm


If you, Amani Kitty, are giving me an example of criticism, then I don't want it.

There's constructive criticism, and then there's meanness. And I'd like to meet someone who actually looks up to you, by the way.

Miss Nicolette Strange


Amanikitty

PostPosted: Sat Aug 25, 2007 7:30 pm


-C'est la lune qui conduit la danse...-



And we give both to those who deserve it.
EDIT: And you can check out the Lolita thread in the F&S forum and see their opinion.


-...quand le soleil sera couché dans ton âme froide.-
PostPosted: Sat Aug 25, 2007 7:47 pm


No one deserves meanness. Ever.

And I am getting really tired of arguing with you over nothing, so I will see you around. Ciao.

Miss Nicolette Strange


Amanikitty

PostPosted: Sat Aug 25, 2007 7:55 pm


-C'est la lune qui conduit la danse...-



Why? Because I give reasons to our bitchyness? And I show that we're helpful? Or maybe because you refuse to listen. Ever.

Child labor doesn't need to happen either, does it? Oh well, it happens, too bad for the victims. Same with 9/11; Bad timing, I guess y/n? Oh well.


-...quand le soleil sera couché dans ton âme froide.-
PostPosted: Sun Aug 26, 2007 2:03 pm


Miss Nicolette Strange
No one deserves meanness. Ever.

And I am getting really tired of arguing with you over nothing, so I will see you around. Ciao.

I actually think its amusing how your AEL Guild is against the "b***h Elitists" but you guys fight with equal fervor as they do in that department XD.

annai


Miss Nicolette Strange

PostPosted: Sun Aug 26, 2007 3:55 pm


annai
Miss Nicolette Strange
No one deserves meanness. Ever.

And I am getting really tired of arguing with you over nothing, so I will see you around. Ciao.

I actually think its amusing how your AEL Guild is against the "b***h Elitists" but you guys fight with equal fervor as they do in that department XD.

We're allowed to fight for what we believe in, aren't we?
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