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 Posted: Thu Nov 22, 2007 11:21 am
For as long as he could remember, his thoughs never could be quite clear nor see through the dakrness which seemed to battle against the light unceasingly. Ezriel flicked his ears slightly, biting his lower lip as she seemed to study him. No concise or acurate answer could be found within the depths of his mind as her expression seemed to search him for an answer or a reason for such logic. But how could it be explained so easily?
"You can't trust everyone- when everyone else has always done it and talked bad about your damn family and run around with all of those effing rumors then why should you think someone else was so different?"
His tail flicked as he intook a deep breath, exhaling it through his nostrils as he glanced downward and aside while a single front hoove clawed at the ground.
"But that's not the case with you," he managed to finish as he glanced up towards the mare again.
The stallion shook his head, a bit of a brighter smile gracing his maw. "No- you deserved an apology- and...I like talking to you. I guess when your so use to being so damn alone and rejected you tend to accept it. Sometimes you become desensitized and have no will to change it for yourself knowing that it will never last."
He smiled again and managed to chuckle just a bit. "Don't be sorry- I needed to be pestered."
More than Eponine could realize, her pestering had helped him. Yes- he was at times seclusive, course and aggressive but the world had forged hsi outlook to be just as dark and empty just how others seemed to critique his soul and his overall character with preconcieved judgement. The world was often cruel, heartless and just as ruthless as he could be but there were times where he could see the light- times where he saw some kindness which impacted him in small, positive ways and this was certainly one of those moments.
The stallion swayed his head to the right as his flowing locks of purest crimson whisped about while his tail curled around his leg slightly.
"Thank you..."
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Posted: Fri Nov 30, 2007 7:56 am
((Aaaah! Sorry for the delay. D: ))
The mare began to feel relief as Ezriel spoke, as if she had been holding her breath and only now remembered how to breathe. The dual-personality of the white and crimson stallion wasn't easy to deal with, but thankfully, Eponine was a little oblivious to such nature. She would have continued to pester him regardless of his mood and attitude - he he stayed gruff and unapproachable, laden in dark, it wouldn't have bothered her none.
Certainly, she had to admit that his gentler side was easier to handle but. . . . Each facet was him, wasn't it? And she'd take what he might give.
As she listened to his words, the long, white-haired mare dipped her head. Chuckling softly, she pawed at the ground before turning bright eyes up at him. The more she looked at him, the more and more handsome he became. . . . Even with his spiked tail, and those voids for eyes. He was intriguing, mysterious, and the young mare couldn't help but feel a little smitten.
Strange she should feel this way. . . it was different for her, different than all the other stallions before. Hm. Maybe it was a good thing though, right? Though Eponine couldn't realize what it meant to look at someone on a level of attraction, she'd figure it out in due time.
Maybe.
Glancing back up at him, capturing his gaze with her own, she kept a smile on her features though it was slightly dim. The words he spoke were as cold as the world in which they lived, and Eponine was the sort to dream away such awfl times. But just because she dreamed and hoped didn't mean she couldn't realize or understand the reality of how the world worked. Night and day - where River had been decked with a personality of light and good, it seemed this Ezriel warred and saw things though the perspective of night and darkness.
"Th-think nothing of it," she assured, her own white locks wisping about her pale blue frame. "Not all are d-dark or cr-cruel," she assured softly, expression gentle, "Though it hurts to th-think you've b-b-been subj-j-jected to such things, m-m-maybe someday. . . . maybe s-someday that will ch-change for good."
He needed some light in his life, the poor stallion. Though he did look different, the young mare couldn't see why others thought him cruel and rejected him without taking the time to know him. He was course, or so it seemed from time to time, but that didn't make him evil . . .
Even kalona had hearts, somewhere, and could feel. It was a hair on the skewed side of emotion, but did their beliefs and ideas make them any less than one who thought differently?
Not in Eponine's mind.
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Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 8:32 am
The outlook of the stallion was vastly different compared to the others who wandered and drifted about in this world. Even at a young age he had come to experience emotions and thoughts that would frighten any noble or virtuous soquili and had been tormented by the unseen, evil invalids by means of demons and voices that never ceased to sway him to hate, to kill and to torment. Ezriel knew very well that the world was cruel- a horrible place where darkness consumed all hearts and where the light was scarce and faint. Reality and truth were a damn fake! Happiness had to be sought for and even attempting to obtain such a thing took months, years or ones entire lifetime.
The world feared him, no- the world feared he and his family because of what they looked like and what past event had befallen his mother.
Ezriel hated it.
No.
Sometimes he hated himself.
The stallion shrugged his shoulders as his spaded, spiked tail swayed behind him. "Try telling that to the rest of the world," he commented, low and reserved.
"Those who look like monsters are misjudged and eventually it leads them to become the everday fear and horrid beast from hell." He didn't know what to think- in a way he could only hope that things would change but knowing the world and what he had already been previously subjected to, Ezriel didn't want to hold his breath or wait on the world to change their thoughts and outlooks.
"I can only hope though I doubt I have a snowballs chance in hell. Other soquili don't see eye to eye, they see face to face not heart to heart. I don't give a damn- let that be their downfall but if they mess with my family or I then they'll have hell to pay. I've heard enough rumors and decepting lies from enough soquili to know what they think and I swear to those damn spirits that I'll make sure that no one will say a word about us." His jowls gritted, brows furrowed as a breath escaped from his flared nostrils.
"Why can't others see what you see?"
That desire to join his father seemed to will him to go to the extreme and join him. He was wasting time- he knew it. Reaper would not be happy.
But why it seemed that he was getting himself tied up in a conversation with a mare was beyond him. Somehow...
Ezriel just felt comfortable.
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Posted: Mon Dec 10, 2007 10:44 am
As Eponine listened, her compassion for the stallion grew. It wasn't based on pity, oh no, it was something else, something more. Her virtuous soul couldn't allow for the cruelty and crime that soquili so often committed. What right did one have judging another? What right did one have saying such mean things to a complete stranger, and all based on looks and appearance alone? Yes, there were some that were cold and heartless and cruel. . . Darkness seemed to have overwhelmed the world lately and to find good and kind light was rare.
Even foals were subjected to such pain and hurt and abandonment. . . . Oh, how it broke her heart!
Dipping her head for a moment, allowing her white locks to fall over her features, expression saddened that young mare listened to him speak. Was it not true that laws of nature versus nurture? Was it not true that those who felt no love and were given only the rejection of society could be transformed in to the very thing that the world feared and hated? If all one experienced was rejection and pain, if the only window one could see out of was violence - would it not effect them down the road?
A spirit was only so strong and regardless the best intentions, when a spirit eventually cracked or broke entirely, it would take double amount of work to heal it.
Strong and fragile all at once, Ezriel seemed in dire need of some light and goodness. Maybe she was nothing but an optimistic fool, but more than ever he needed to be reminded that not all were cruel. "There are other l-l-like me," she added softly, remembering the kind hearted River and a few exceptional gentle souls she'd met within her years. It wasn't much, but Eponine could see why he doubted.
Overall, the world was prone to darkness and cruelty, be it out of choice or out of belief that they were protecting themselves by chasing away anything different. "You m-may not wish to h-hope," she added softly, pawing at the ground at which she stared. "But I will. I r-r-refuse to let such d-darkness win, I r-refuse to f-fall prey to th-the assumptions or m-m-mockery of others."
There was a raw sort of vehemence in her voice, as if she wasn't speaking just to Ezriel but the all the world and the resident spirits. She would doh her best not to judge, she would do her best to show love and kindness in place of fear and loathing. Even though such a direction might render her dead at an early age, and even though many might stick up their noses and tell her she was being stupid, naive and young. . .
So be it.
If she was killed by delivering kindness than let it be so. Perhaps those that do it would someday think back upon it and maybe be touched or changed. She'd done enough living in her young years to be unafraid of such things.
She was only here for a short time, but oh how Eponine understood that love was forever.
"Someday th-they'll see. . . The world will ch-change, I believe, as th-that is what life and living is. Ch-change." And wasn't that the truth. Every moment, every breath, every action was all dependent on change. Every meeting, no matter how slight and insignificant, brought change. Every sunset, every moon glow, ever gust of wind and breath of are transformed the world in to something new, something different.
Time woldn't work without change. . . .
So Eponine could only hold out hope.
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Posted: Tue Dec 18, 2007 8:48 pm
Oh yes.
Ever since he was born the world had rejected he and his siblings and the potential for a kindly, soft and loving compassion that would consume him had faded and what was left was a monster, a fiend and a savage brute! How little the world knew of him but all who knew him either respected him and found him amusing while most found him horrific and coarse, rigid and terrifying.
It had long affected him but his soul was broken- oh how it was shattered! He was sure he had a heart since he was still living but that horrible and panged feeling of an empty void never did seem to leave. And that voice- his inner demons never left him at peace.
The stallion shook his head, ears flicking back. Somehow he couldn't believe there were others out there- no, there were. There were mares like Tal, like...like Nimue.
Ezriel seemed to wince slightly as his ears pinned against his skull. That realization that he had lost- that Nimue was lost to him twisted his stomach and knotted it a million times over as a sickly and empty feeling seemed to overcome him. His father had won- he was the loser and didn't deserve her. What a horrible feeling! Did no one know how it felt? He doubted it. It felt as if his fathers horn had happened to pierce and shatter his heart and now it was left in a broken pile in the pit of his stomach miraculously still pumping as best it could. For a moment the stallion closed his eyes and sighed rather deeply yet in a hushed manner.
Inside he was breaking- yes, that strong, rugged and stone stallion could feel himself becoming fractured as that mask that hid him so well was begining to widdle away. Lone tears began to stream from his face and those long forgotten scars seemed to ache.
"The world has already won- part of me wishes that I would have died at his mercy and died with honor," he mumbled, his legs buckling as the weight of the world and emotion seemed to be carried solely upon his shoulders. That horrid and bitter realization was given the upper hand as the stalion lowered himself to the ground in a heap. "I'm better off to stab myself through the heart with my own damn-tastic spikes," he spat, crimson brows furrowing as his teeth ground together.
"There is no such thing as change; its a damn fabrication of the hopes and wishes that we -think- happen when in reality they don't exist. Sure, the sun rises and sets but its not for us- whenever we try to change we lose something if not everything."
Hope.
Don't get him started.
"Hope doesn't exist," he added with a grumble. "Some should stop playing with damn fallacies and learn the f#%@ing truth of the worlds matters."
Ezriel laid there in a tired, defeated heap. Nimue was gone and there was nothing left except for the emotions, the feelings and the desires that his inner demon riled up inside of him. He wanted- he wanted so much and the loneliness was killing him! Was this how it was going to be? Was he condemned to be miserable like this for the rest of his life?
At least he had his life but it still felt so incomplete.
Somehow he just didn't know what to believe or think still after the encounter with his father.
Ezriel just felt-
So lost.
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Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 2:20 pm
Eponine watched the crimson and white stallion became enveloped by some sort of hidden emotion and thought. To see him crumble, to see the flicker of tears in his eyes, it was almost unbearable to watch. Something had seemingly struck the white and crimson haired stallion, almost taken his spirit and ripped it to pieces. The words he spoke had turned to mutters, random prattles of this and that. To wish he had died? To wish to have been killed?
Was such his agony that he couldn't stand to live?
It broke her heart to see the stallion gripped in such a hopeless state. The light in Eponine dimmed as she dipped her head, white hair falling over her face. She sighed, her heart stricken for the male - but what could she do, what hope could she provide? It seemed impossible to break through his barriers, to get him to see any sign of hope. Then again, perhaps Eponine was the one in the wrong. Though she tried to be compassionate and empathic, to understand his plight, the mare knew she would never be able to walk in his shoes.
To be ridiculed and hated by everyone if only because of ones looks.
Bridging the distance, unable to stay back, she softly stepped closer to the fallen stallion. "Hush now," she spoke softly, leaning down to give him a gentle nuzzle on his nose. She was careful of his spikes, but truly was unafraid. If he should thrash or grow angered, than so be it - but right now, though she had no words to provide, she could give him comfort.
Not all were afraid, not all judged. . . . No matter his huffing and puffing self, the darkness couldn't always take hold. "They may judge but you're better than that. They may hate but you know you're not like that - you can and have proved them wrong." Her white hair fell down around and both him and her, neck bent as she refused to retreat.
There was nothing abominable about him. Certainly, sometimes she couldn't understand the extent of his darkness and pain. . . But she could stand there and hope for him, and prove to the world that she wasn't faced with a beast or monster.
If ever one needed to be loved - it was him, and it was now.
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Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 7:14 pm
Even then the stallion felt as if the unseen, imaginary invalids of such pain, torment and heartache were surrounding him- tearing him to pieces by means of claws and fangs while his teeth grounded together, wincing as the excruciating pain that no other individual could feel besides himself surged through his body. His broken heart seemed to cry out in agony with a terrifying shriek that seemed to rattle through his ears while a horrible weight seemed embedde within his own stomach and never to be freed. This pain, this unfathomable pain! Ezriel was certain that few had ever experienced such a thing and for one who kept himself guarded and hidden away it seemed easy for a bystander to see a glisten of welting tears that were being fought not to be shed.
Ezriel flared his nostrils slightly, curling his spaded, spiked tail closer to him while his eyes narrowed towards the icy, blue mare as he watched her white mane wash over her, head hung low as she neared closer to where he laid broken upon the ground.
Those pale, white ears suddenly perked upwards as he felt- felt her nose nuzzle against his. He stared for several moments with the lack of any ability to speak. That touch, that comfort, he missed it- and knowing that he was alone without the one whom had won his heart only brought back the solacing pain to rattle his frame and his mind. Being one whom kept himself at a distance from others besides the one whom he had lost to his own father, the stallion's crimson brows knitted slightly as his attention focused upon the sole mare in front of him.
While she spoke he could feel the countless emotions stir within him. From loneliness, to sorrow, anger and even a fraction of fear, Ezriel seemed to bite slightly upon his lower lip. And somehow, either instinct or that undeniable need for comfort, caused him to stretch his neck out slightly as his own nose pressed against hers ever so slightly while void-less, black orbs searched her for answers.
"Words are words but they come with a hell of a venomous bite along with actions," Ezriel replied, his voice worn, low and tired. "Some will become immune to the poison but there are times where you feel the goddamn brunt of its effects...and its just damn-tastic...."
He didn't feel coherent- he felt so distant and so surreal, so isolated from the world as the cogs of his mind simply weren't able to compute or function with ease. That security, the security that he had known so well was now lost as he was left broken, left as it felt as if a part of him was left to wither and die just like a forgotten flower whose roots were denied life giving water.
Ezriel found himself alone again.
But even so at least there was one mare who seemed to still stick around him and not run away.
As he pressed his nose against hers, Ezriel exhaled a deep breath as subconciously he brushed his muzzle against hers and brushed it against the side of her face. It was as if he was with her- that comfort, those feelings; they were all so similiar. It was if as if- as if she was with him still.
It was as if Nimue was with him and his mind seemed to obscure such a reality to an intoxicatind degree.
"Set me free...." he whispered, absent mindedly tugging at a few of her stray pieces of mane. "Hold it together, birds of a feather...I have the answer, spreading the cancer, you are the faith inside of me....." Letting go of her mane, Ezriel tenderly lipped at the side of her face as already those emotions, the pain and the sorrow were slowly begining to blind him. Slowly the broken soul was becoming lost to his own darkened self and to desires that could lead the innocent astray.
"Open your wings...angel...why can't I breathe angel...."
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Posted: Fri Feb 29, 2008 11:43 am
Eponine almost froze as the broken spirited male before her suddenly seemed to transform. She could feel his need - his need for something, for comfort, for affection, for love - radiating through him; his every move, his every word only hammered in that thought. Strange, they had only just met, and yet he seemed suddenly so inclined. . . .
What did she do?
The ice blue mare found herself at a crossroad with little time to respond or react. She was fast walking in to unchartered territory and was uncertain how to respond; what did she do? Did she go ahead and attempt to give Ezriel some sort of assurance, some sort of happiness? Or did she back off out of fear and leave the broken male to his own devices. . . . No. She couldn't do that! To abandon him now would mean to break him. Besides which, he needed love. . . he needed someone or something to love him like none other!
Hesitantly, shyly, the mare inched closer, standing above the fallen form of the mutant. As he lipped at her face and neck, as he tugged upon her mane, she lowered her head and returned the gestures weakly. She said nothing at first, gently brushing her nose against his cheek and neck, softly pulling aside some of his mess of crimson hair. Ever so delicately, she buried her nose against his neck, letting him know she was there and wasn't so quickly going to flee.
Her stomach twisted and she couldn't help but wonder. . . . . Did she continue?
Yes. "I'm here . . . " She murmured softly. "I'm here." That was all he needed to know, that was all he needed to understand. She wasn't going anywhere until his heart was brought together; or at least until he felt a little better. To see him so broken was not something Eponine could so swiftly turn from. Love was a good thing, wasn't it? What harm could come of this. . . .?
Draping the stallion with her white locks, as if to keep him away from the harm and evils of the world, the young mare reciprocated his affections gently. Let Ezriel need. . . .Eponine would fix as best she could.
((Fin ))
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